Things that make me say hummmmmmm

*Why did Aresenio have to leave late night television back in the day after 5 years?
*How the heck did Soulja Boy get people to give him all that $$$?
*Why do so many rappers end up going to jail?
*Does it seem like Grand mothers are starting to become younger (34 and under???)?
*Why do white kids talk back to their parentz.....and don't get a beat down?
*I think drinking is cool (not for me) but why do people have to get drunk?
*If the USA has a 50% divorce rate, does that mean other 50% are happy?
*How come those who voted for the president seem to be turning against him now?
*If Charles Barkley told us athletes are not role models, why is everyone so shocked at Tiger Woods?
*Whats up with boys wearing skinny jeans?
*Why is breaking up so hard, especially when you are unhappy?
*Why did the chicken want 2 cross the frshe eaking road anyway?
*Do people know that cats walk through their litter boxes then on to you and your furniture?
*Why do people make funny faces at your food like you are forcing them to eat it too!
*Is it cool 2 open and eat food before you purchase it in a grocery store?
*What's up with all the rubber necking when someone gets stopped by a cop?
*What happens if I am at the express lane and I have 21 items?
*Why do people have lawn jockey's?
*Why do gay people compare their struggle to slavery?
*If 40 is the new 30- DO the retireeees have to return to work 4 another 10 years?
*Why do old black men love Caddy's so much?
*If she knows she is wrong- why does her big head continue?
*Why do I always end with I am Ward?

I am WarD

How well do you trust your ummmmm co-workers?

So ya back on the grind again huh? Well the majority of the world is fresh off the fantasy versus reality tour of thinking that Xmas trees and Santa Claus along with over spending money that you don't have for some one's birthday that is no where near the truth and then justifying it by saying its just because of the season. Wheeewww, I am tired just thinking about how this whole situation works-lol!
Anywayz, I find myself thinking about co-workers. I mean when we get down to the nuts and bolts of the the situation, we spend more time with them than we do with our real families. But my rhetorical question today is, do we really trust our beloved coworkers??????
I am sure we are all aware of the issues with our food missing from the shared refrigerator at work! I never understood how somebody could eat another person's lunch. Perhaps I am just to darn picky, because I know many people who have cats that jump all up on the kitchen counter and dogs that lick them in the face and not to mention all the lack of hand washing that must "NOT" be going on as well. (Then again I just like to think of myself as a nice respecting person-lol!) I was told by one lady to write on your lunch bag, don't eat this because I spat on the sandwich. When she went to eat her sandwich at lunch, it had another post it note attached that said "I spat on this sandwich too!" Come to think of it, she never told me if she ate the sandwich anyway.....she probably did (Nasty self).
During these winter months, some of us don't have remote car starters and choose to warm our cars, but that leaves us vulnerable to leaving our ipods, blackberries and lap tops exposed. Should I trust Sean the IT guy, or what about that bubble lensed receptionist named Leticia, yeah she looks like she needs a new ipod! At the end of the day, we gotta hope, trust and believe that our work families will do the right thing......ya know blame it on somebody else when your stuff is stolen.....

Ward up Yall........

The difference.......

I am so glad that I have finally gotten some free time for myself! I have been working 7 days a week for the past few months. Its not that I work hard, its just that I know how important it is that one takes time to relax, recuperate and review the week that has past. I know people who make their profession their obsession and I think it might be better if I do not join that crowd.
I do think about success and failures sometimes. I think about the Jay Z's and Russell Simmons of the world. The Obama's and other people who have over come great odds to attain what ever wealth, position and greatness they possess! After giving it great thought, I came up with a satisfying answer for myself!
Failure is easy to accomplish. You simply just give up trying to be successful at what ever you feel your calling should be. Say for example, I want to be an electrician but I feel less than confident that I can get past the math requirement. What if I wanted to go back to school to become a Nurse, but knew nothing of financial aide. Again, being unsuccessful is a dominant trait that many people have. In fact the trait is so strong that when someone thinks out side the per verbal box and "as we say" makes, he/she looks like a Deity!
When it comes to achieving and beating the the odds set against us....Now that takes effort. Let me illustrate. Many many moons ago a wise old man said he would teach any one how to get what ever it was in life that they desired! Few people took him up on this offer even though he was very affluent. However, one such aspiring young man sought him out and and begged him to show him the way toward wealth. The old man asked the seeker of knowledge to meet him at the beach at 4 a.m. the next mourning. The man thought it odd, but agreed to meet him. He arrived at the requested time, and even wore a very nice suit. I assumed if riches is what he desired, he was gonna be prepared to wear the crown-lol! The old man told the seeker to go out in the water, he complied. The water came to his knee and the old man said go further out, he complied. The water came to his neck, as he stood there confused and thinking what does this have to do with his desire for wealth. At that point the old man appeared behind him and grabbed him by his head and forced him under water with a death grip so strong that the seeker could not free himself. Just at the point of drowning the old man suddenly released him and drug him back to shore. When the seeker regained his bearings he was asked an important question that changed his life and gave him the knowledge he sought. The old man asked the seeker "As you were about to die what was your main focus?" The seeker said breathing!!!! Exactly said the old man. Now if you are more focused on living and fight hard for what you desire, then you find your prize. Never settle for no when yes is what you seek. Learn all you can and make no excuses. You are man and made in his image. The one who created a universe. There is nothing you can not do. You must believe it, achieve it and then receive it. The point became clear to the seeker because after that day he did every thing he had to do in order to be a success.
I wont say who the man is, but he is one of the wisest men that people mention in life. His story has inspired me to understand why some people are content existing and other are living life....
I am Ward

Sucka free flash backs.......

Does the thrill have to go after years of being with someone? or as Darius from Love Jones said... "ROMANCE...is about the possibility of the thing. From the time when you first meet some fine a#^% woman... To the time you make love to her. From the time you first propose to her. To the time you say eye do. When people who have been together for a long time say that the romance is dead....nuh uh......they just EXHAUSTED THE POSSIBILITIES"

Say, baby... can I be Your slave? I've got to admit girl you're the ish girl... and I'm digging you like a grave. Now, do they call you Daughter to the Spinning Pulsar... or maybe Queen of 10,000 moons? Sister to the Distant yet Rising Star? Is your name Yemaya? Oh, heck no. Its got to be Oshun. Oooh, is that a smile me put on your face, child (jamacian voice)... wide as a field of jasmine and clover? Talk that talk, honey. Walk that walk, money. High on legs that'll spite Jehovah. Dang, Who am I? It's not important. But me they call me brother to the night. And right now... I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right. Who am I? I'll be whoever you say? But right now I'm the sight-raped hunter... blindly pursuing you as my prey. And I just want to give you injections... of sublime erections... and get you to dance to my rhythm... make you dream archetypes... of black angels in flight... upon wings of distorted, contorted... metaphoric jizm. Come on slim. Fuck your man. I ain't worried about him. It's you who I want to step to my scene. 'cause rather the deal with the fallacy... of this dry-a#$% reality... I'd rather dance and romance your sweet behind in a wet dream. Who am I? Well, they call me Brother Ward to the night. And right now- I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right. Is that all right? - Love Jones and the Ward.....

Its the thought that counts

If its really the thought that counts.....I suggest that you try harder suckers......


Ward......

Don't worry EyE got your back..........sort of?

In this land of milk and honey and ain't a dang thang funny, especially when it comes to your money! So what do we need to make it now a daze? Let me ponder as I sit here typing on my computer.......... O.k. I got it! What we need is a partner to have our back in life, love and/or work!

When we get down to the nuts and bolts of life, sometimes I feel like its really about learning, relearning and finally acceptance. Take for example a young man who had to find out the hard way that life comes with a price. I was always told that if you have to ask how much something cost- then you can not afford it-lol. Anyway, the man (being young) felt his parents were to strict on him and wanted to strike out on his own to live with the perfect woman that he met. The plan sounded good at the time, but when you go from being taken care of by your parents to actually taking care of your own new family can and should be over whelming!!

I personally feel that before a man takes on a family, he should be able to answer these basic questions. 1). Am I physically, emotionally and spiritually mature enough to be responsible for a family, 2). Do I have a good understanding and grasp on my finances and 3).Am I worthy of earning my mate's respect? I am sure most people take this for granted, but soon find out sooner or later, that hind sight is 20:15-lol!

So now you stand at the cross roads of life contemplating returning to college next fall......but wait sucka. Didn't you start a family earlier this year? Walking out is totally different from walking in. You may get your feelings hurt, your car scratched up or your man hood taken away or worse. Didn't R.Kelly try and told you when a woman is fed up ain't nothing you can do about it?

In reality when we realize that our dating situation has gone South, we make excuses on why we should leave or stay, but the results are often the same......bad. Its like pulling off a bandage! Either you pull it fast and get it over with or you pulling it slowly and deal with all the pain until it subsides. Wardy suggest this...Sit down with a mature third party and discuss the issues with your mate, being respectful of course, say what your needs for the future consist of, how you plan to achieve them and when you are going to do it. Keep in mind that your mate won't like you leaving, and may accuse you of everything thing under the sun...real or imagined. Just stay focused and stick to your future and allow the offended person to do whatever they need to do. Go out to the club, see other people or cry all day.

I would never suggest that a couple part or stay together....that is personal, but remember older personz tend to have a tad bit more wisdum than you at times! Here is to you sucka, remember, "Don't worry Eye got your back.........sort of!WarD....

fall*N* in luv

Do you remember the first time you saw him/her? Do you recall what you thought? Were you thinking in your mind the exact words you were gonna say to get their attention? Did you smile when you knew you had their interest? What was that first kiss like? Did you secretly watch them at your desk while they worked with clients? Love is a funny thing sometimes, because the same things that drew you to the person R the same thing that pushes you away from them.

I saw an old couple holding hands in the mall the other day. I thought....hummm, I bet they been through all kind of situations in their relationship yet they are still together. Did one or both of them cheat, was their physical abuse, did either wish the other were dead? I guess it didn't really matter cause they was still together and smiling-lol!

I think couples need to recall some of the things from the opening paragraph before getting upset! Love is a good thing. Hate is a bad thing. Enough said suckers....

WaRd...

Should the family eat dinner 2 geather????

Back in the daze I recall families turning off the television during dinner time and everyone actually talked about their day, family business, told a few jokes and had a great time. Now that sounds odd because that just doesn't happen now or does it? From what I can see, most families who do actually eat in the same house, eat in different rooms while either being on Face book, watching t.v. or some other independent activity.
When you really think about it, many families are like this. I think it occurs because we have to earn a living in this dismal economy and that sometimes keeps us working longer hours and spending more time away from loved ones. I can only imagine how hard it must be on my single parent peoples. Another sad fact is that some fathers aren't pulling their weight when it comes to being head of the house. Men have actually told me that they stay at work as long as possible to avoid a nagging mate or tantrums of a noisy kid. That is just ludicrous to me.
As I see all the uninterested students roaming the school hall ways daily, I can only wish they would wake up. Literally, they go to class and sleep because they feel they are only there because they have to be there and refuse to do more than the bare minimum. If someone tries to help these youth, they are quick to let you know they don't care about the future, they worried about getting what they need now by any means necessary.
This is what Wardy realized: It starts with the parents/family first! I don't care what other factors you have in place...its nothing without the previous. How about this. Returning to the family eating dinner 2 geather? Family meals offers parents a unique chace to care for their kids emotional well-being. The dinner tables a place for young ones to get regular access to parental presence and low-key attention. I see so many benefits of family dinners....whew!! Ya know how undisciplined kids just run up in your conversation saying "Mommy/Daddy can I.....", well if you learn to take turns talking at dinner and having responsibilities like set up and clean up....youths actually learn manners that will be present outside the home and yes even at school.
Sure it takes effort from everybody for it to be a success, but I feel its well worth the efforts put fourth. I personally make sure I sit down with my family at least 4 times per week and ask about their day and share mine with them. I feel like I know whats up and vice versa. I know I am far from perfect but I know I am doing my best. Who can ask for more than that?
Again, family meals are a time for closeness, conversations, important information dissemantion and comfort for the child's well being. I suggest everyone try it out for a month and see if your kids don't show an improved attituede as well as you!
I be that Wardster dude!

The vitality of kommunication

If you are like me, sometimes you hurt the ones who are the closest to us unintentionally. It's really funny how the words we sometimes say to others take a nasty turn once they leave our mouths and enter into their ears-lol! In reality, before most people share thoughts with others, we often times give them a dry run in our mindz eye. With that being said, we think deep and long about it, further than what we say to the person we are talking with.
Let us assume that a new couple started a relationship but the female has some questions she wants to ask the male about his past sexual history. In her mind, she is thinking how much she loves him and how much fun they have. So when they are absent of each other, she is curious if he is like that with any other women in his life. Seems like a legitimate question to me, but then again its all about the way you package the gift you are about to give to your unsuspecting mate!
This is what you mean to say: "I really love you boyfriend and have a great time with you. I don't want to loose this feeling that we are sharing, but I just need reassurance that we are on the same page. You and I are monogamous right and we are a team....is that correct? This is what your partner heard. "Look sucka, you been acting strange lately, You don't try to kiss me or hold me anymore, are you kicking with your ex behind my back? If you are, I am gonna leave you so fast that your shadow won't have time to catch up with your sorry tasss!
Hummm sound familiar. I am sure it does for some. But image how this same situation could have been replayed out if the person would have just said something like this: "Honey, I have been thinking about us and I need your input. I am afraid that I love you so much that at times I feel insecure or even jealous about others you may have been with. Can you tell me that I am what you want and need or what areas do you feel we need to improve on? I am willing to work hard for us and hope you are too."
Yeah seems easy, but the longer we take to problem solve of maintenance check up on our relationships.....the harder this will be. Its too bad that our school systems that are suppose to prepare us for the future, fails to prepare us for the second biggest commitment of our lives.....marriage!

I am WaRd.....

Their Grrrreeeaaaattttttt!!!!!!!!

You can't always believe what you hear in the news. Tiger and his woman R fine. Everybody knows once you get married everything gets better! Who you trying to fool? That man is happy look at this picture above!

I am WaRD...

Giving up Blame.....

I was thinking about the single sisters today. Ya know the ones' who seem to have it all, great looks, well educated, nice clean house/apartment but no man. Now don't get it twisted I know they want a dude in their lives but they just can't seem to get it right. Either the dude ends up leaving them or they push him away.
I have heard numerous women say to me how they just don't understand how that fat sista over there is married and yet she is single. But I had to ask myself "Is it really that simple"? Of course not! When we look deep inside our selves we may find what we feared most........THE TRUTH!!!
When it comes down to it, after 6 months you know if you want to marry this person in your life. But what we must remember is that its the union of two imperfect people coming together to for a new imperfect union. Both parties will have to learn to be forgiving and more loving. It seems that when an individual makes an error in judgement you don't beat yourself down for ever, but with you mate you don't have that same compassion. Its understandable because we are all selfish at some point in our lives and we learn from it one way or another. They say you never miss your water until your mate leaves your butt?????
I admit that women tend to give more in a relationship then men do,but that is because you women allow us to get away with it. I could break this point down, but you are mature so I go there in this blog. But allow me to make this point here:
"When a woman realizes she has been giving too much, she tends to blame her partner for their unhappiness. She feels the injustice of giving more that she has received.
Although she has not received what she deserved, to improve her relationships she needs to recognize how she contributed to the problem. When a woman gives too much she should not blame her partner. Similarly, a man who gives less should not blame his partner for being negative or unreceptive to him. In both cases, blaming does not work suckers.
Understanding, trust, compassion, acceptance, and support are the solution, not blaming our partners. When this situation occurs, instead of blaming his female partner for being resentful, a man can be compassionate and offer his support even if she doesn't ask for it, listen to her even if at first it sounds like blame and help her to trust and open up to him by doing little things for her to show that he cares.
Instead of blaming a man for giving less, a woman can accept and forgive her partner's imperfections, especially when he disappoints her, trust that he wants to give more when he doesn't offer his support, and encourage him to give more by appreciating what he does give and continuing to ask for his support"
Now as deep as that may be, it won't get or keep you in a relationship. Communication is a great tool to have, but first you gotta know yourself, then know what the opposite sex wants and needs.2nd, you gotta make it happen. No body is perfect and neither are you. Ask your self what things would a mate get turned off by me with. You might want to ask a good friend that question about yourself for a more accurate answer (for real)lol!
Here is Wardy's final point: If you are single and you want to be in a relationship, then you may want to figure out what what the problem izzzz.

I am WaRd.......

If the children are the future......then I don't want to see tomorrow

So I have been doing the teaching thing for a minute now and learn everyday that everyone has a different story about life with in their minds. Some have a great life with two parents, brothers and sisters and a dog and a cat! On the other hand some young people are the responsible people in their households. They get up early and get their siblings ready for the day with breakfast and clothes as best they can. Then rush off to school where they have not had time to properly prepare the previous nights home work.
They sometimes sleep in class and often times are not even paying attention when awake. It really seems like they don't know what to do but to follow this normal routine that is set before them. I see them as good kids, just searching for hope.
Even with all this going on, I am amazed at how many youths think that the world revolves around them only! They have to have the latest in fashion, like Ugg boots, name brand shirts and everything that their television idols wear. I honestly don't know how the parents of these kids can afford all these expensive items. Perhaps they are just gifts of remorse due to lack of time spent with the kids.
I enjoy teaching and see the benefits of myself and other positive educators fruits, but I really think that consistently is the key to continued success. I clearly understand that the young people don't know what we know about the future. They have no clue that jobs are hard to find and competition is stiff. We dang near gotta work harder then the kids do to get this point across.
All I know is that I am tired from working alot, but its a good tired-lol! I really want to acknowledged how important tires are to society. I had no ideal of what they/we go through. Wow is all I can say.....

Ward.

Long daze and short nites

I was thinking about how this economy has really affected many people and how many people are unaware that they are affected? Its really ironic when you think about it because the hand writing is on the wall.
I received a phone call from an old friend who said she was fired today because she refused to carry out her assigned duties when she was given extra work. I asked did she think she won the battle and she replied YES! I was surprised because now she is out of a job. I understand how people have to stand up for their rights, but would it behoove us all to have another job before getting another. I have been without a job before and it wasn't all peaches and cream. At first I was like what am I gonna do now. It took me a minute to realize that I am the Ward!! I took some time and got my thoughts together and made more money than I was before.
What did it for me was realizing that the two ways to prevent down sizing is educating one's self and getting your hustle on. So that is what I did, I looked into more classes that are more appropriate to this economy and looked into what things that could be done to meet the new needs of 2009-2010.
So far its going good but i have had some long daze and short nites yet in still at the end of the day, I am a survior....

Ward up....

Why must women always expect a free meal when dating men?

Is there a double standard when it comes to dating? History would undoubtedly scream heck to the yeah!!! Women have long since been chased by men only to take advantage of us. We arrive on time, while U take another 43 minutes to get ready. We meet your creepy unshaven father and moo-moo wearing mother with the big pink rollers in her hair and get humped on by your dog in the mean time. We can dig it, cuz it's a small possibility that you might be worth the wait. So finally you (the woman) come down the stairs looking like a super star. As we (the Man) start to smile and thinking to ourselves that this is gonna be an alright date.

Next as the couple is rolling in the car, they agree on a radio station and make small talk as they head toward the restaurant. They end up at a nice first date food joint like the Cheese Cake Factory or Webber Grill and the woman starts ordering errry thing good, like she is the Queen of the freaking Ghetto. No problem because it's expected that the dude is suppose to pay-right? I think WRONG is an more appropriate answer. Last time Wardy checked- we are in the middle of an recession and men gotz to watch every coin we got or join the ranks of the homeless or broke folk we see around town-lol!

Seriously, it is a trend out there that the man is suppose to pay for the date when ever the couple goes out on the town! I mean its almost expected. I personally had a date once when the young lady ((asked me out)) and then expected me to pay-(what the freak)... I was cool with it. I just smoothly went to the restroom and then to my car where I texted her phone and said I had a wonderful evening and hoped to see her later in the week. I knew she wouldn't call again plus she didn't have a purse with her-lol!

I wonder would women think it would be wrong if the man expected booty every time they went out? I mean after all he paid for everything? I am not saying this is how I feel, but its just a thought. Perhaps going Dutch is a great way to start a friendship and then if you like the other person's company, pay then! I guess women are more important than men are in the new relationship because she is the woman???? I think women really feel yall have the upper hand- but only when it comes to them weak sex thirsty brothers. Personally if I am not happy in the situation, I won't argue or fight, I am just gonna get ghost on that butt, as all men should do.
Willy (friend) told me that this young woman said to him that she don't pay on dates because she is an old fashioned woman. Willy told her that o.k. with him cause he is an old fashioned man who prefers home cooked meals anyway-lol!

In this writers opinion, it is better to establish the rules up front with no pretensions from both parties: then decide where or if the date is going to continue. For example, if a woman tells a man up front that ain't nothing going down and he is in the friend zone don't get mad if he leaves out of Ruth Chris's parking lot and makes a B-line to white castle's and then suggest that yall both go Dutch!!! Its only fair-right! Proably not to the woman cause that is not what yall use too! Its 2 many games being played in the dating game right about now.

Ladies get out that man's pocket and quit leading him on. Final Fact: Women use sex to get love from men and Men use love to get sex from a women....

I am WaRd....

Quotes of the day...

If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
((Maya Angelou))

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.
((John Wooden))


It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to.
((Annie Gottlier))


I've always felt it was not up to anyone else to make me give my best.
((Akeem Olajuwon))


Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.
((Mike Murdock))

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.
((Anonymous))


If they make a great sauce called A1, how come they don't make B2 sauce?
((Kierra Ward))


I am wARd.....

All Men Cheat

All men cheat. At least thats what Lisa* told me last night at work! I asked her why she thought that and she gave me two reasons. 1). Eddie Murphy said it during his 80’s stand up routine “All men cheat and if you think your man don’t you are lying to yourself”. 2). Lisa said that every dude that she has ever dated has been unfaithful to her. Like many a young ladies out there, her friends are living the good live of marriage, kids, house and unlimited good times that accompany being married! (((Booooyyyy is she in 4 a big surprise one day-lol!)))

Now Lisa’s concern does raise a good question that the Black Dr. Phil must address. First let’s look at men in general from a biblical stand point. Men were created with a higher sex drive then women because after all, the Earth had to be populated. So the plan was simple- yet highly effective. Have attractive women in eye sight of the highly visual males and the rest will be history. Fast 4 ward to 2009, society makes it more that easy for a man to cheat, creep, get his freak on or have a plethora of options. Hugh Hefner is in his early thousands and his old butt still got 5 regular hotties and a few dippz on the side. In fact, its common knowledge that the male fantasy is two women and one man! I heard a woman say, why would a man want two women if he can’t satisfy one? (We men folk don’t find that funny.

Men and women think very differently at times and cheat for reasons the other may or may no understand. A man wants his intimate needs met with consistently and variety (regardless of arguments-weight gain-stress-etc) along with other important concerns like good cooked meals, clean home and attention to the kids, not 2 mention you keepN yourself looking nice as possible. If any other those areas are neglected, the male being the hunters that we are instinctively- start to notice others who have those missing qualities. It seems that when the female is feeling insecure, which results from darn near anything these daze- from the wind blowing to her girlfriend’s comments about something irrelevant, can affect how she treats her dude. How many times has a woman came home and quizzed her dude about something she read in Cosmo about if he “REALLY LOVES YOU”? It would seem that the women needs change but her communication of that fact doesn't work as fast!

Men are simple. Notice how often out hair style never changes….its called consistency! We feel if we say we love you on Monday, then we don’t need to tell you every day, but yall like to hear it over and over-go figure. Learn from the elephant woman. Anyway back Lisa. My quick advice to her would be this. All people including men have the option to cheat, but that does not mean he will act upon it. When you meet your next EX- sit down with him and explain you views on dating and what you expect and what you are capable of giving. That way he knows the rules of the situation and no surprises for anyone. Give 100% to the relationship and leave your emotional baggage at the door. Ultimately we are gonna do what we wonna do and there ain’t nothing you can do about it. I learned that when you are dealing with imperfect people, imperfect thangs can occur. It doesn’t make it right, but it makes it a reason! If you really want a good realationship, put God in the mix from the jump, then know your self and communicate with your dude daily.
So yes all men are capable of cheating, just like everyone is capable of cheating on a job by stealing time. Its just a matter of a priority of what is important to you. People are as faithful as their options. Cheating doesn't have to be limited to the opposite sex. Some people can over stay at work (ultimely neglecting the family),some may be overly involved in sports or even so deep in their religion that they forget that they are part of a couple. The bottom line involves.....you get out of any relationship what ever you put in. Y not try this: Take care of yourself. Develop a close relationship. Don’t nag. Be supportive. Crazy Huh? I can't lie, I think men do cheat more mainly because: Women need a reason to cheat-while men just need a place.......
*Names have been changed to protect innocent
I am ward…..

11 Ways to show dat Man he is ReSpecTed by you!

1. Be approachable, but not too obviously available. You want him to know you are receptive to his advances, but you don't want him to believe you are desperate or actively on the make.

2. Greet him warmly with a sweet, sincere smile. This will let him know that you are genuinely happy to see him.

3. When he speaks to you, look into his eyes, listen intently to every word he says and nod often to indicate that you are listening (and comprehending) what he is saying.

4. During conversation, touch him gently and briefly on the hand, arm or shoulder. This is a subtle, yet definite indication of interest and affection.

5. Laugh heartily when he tells a joke (Brothers like me are very funny). This will let him know you appreciate his wit and share his sense of humor.

6. Use your observational skills to determine what his interests are. Learn everything you can about them, and encourage him to share them with you (This will be a challenge for most of yall).

7. Learn all you can about the things he values most. Let him know that you respect the things that are important to him!!!!

8, Compliment him often. Let him know how good he is at everything he does. Dont over do it, cause you become fake!

9. Be considerate of his feelings. Show him how thoughtful and considerate you are with your every action and interaction.

10. Tell him how important he is to you, and let him know how profusely grateful you are to have him in your life, Word!

11. Let him have his space. Don't hover over him, spy on him, stalk him or act possessive toward him. Refusing to allow a man to have personal space and time is the quickest way to alienate a man and drive him out of your life forever! By all means, give him the space he needs, along with assurance that you ain't going nowhere!

I am Ward!!!

My newest book ideals to help out women folk!!!

*You Can Change The Oil Too...a woman's guide
*How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your dude Is Right
*Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right sometimes
*You, The Whining Sex.....uggggh
*How To Close The Garage Door
*If You Don't Want An Excuse, Don't Demand An Explanation darn it
*How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself
*How To Act Younger Than Your Mother...loose the moo-moo
*Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving
*How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste and squeeze from the bottom
*How To Put Down A Toilet Seat without complaining
*Garbage - Getting It To The Curb in my absence
*Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies
*You Too Can Be A Designated Driver

Ward

Distracted by life....

Everybody seems to be looking for a fix. It use to be just junkies trying to chase that original high, but now its the teenager trying to loosen his parents death grip of tough love, its the single mom who has a few kids trying to find Mr.Right! Everybody has needs and most are willing to do what ever they need to do to solve them.
My issue is this. I think that when foreigners come to America, they see opportunities and the chance to make a way out of now way. They R well aware that nothing beats a chance but a try. Most speak another language or two and willing to make sacrifices to make their dreams happen. If they don't know how to do something they look, listen and learn. They may drive a hooptie, live 15 deep in an one bed room apartment and do with out the finer things in life to make it happen. What about the people in the first paragraph. Is life tougher for them. Does life have them distracted or is it just a double standard.
Sometimes we just gotta realize that we are often times our own biggest obstacle. And what is an obstacle you wonder? I consider an obstacle an opportunity to use skills that you may not have even been aware that you already have! If you fall down you only have two options: 1). You can learn to crawl while you stay down on the ground or 2). Or you can get back up and learn from your error.
We all heard when life gives you lemons......make lemonade. Now I don't know what that means to you but here is what it means to me. I make no mistakes...let me say that again in case you think I erred! I make no mistakes, I only have learning experiences. So if something does not go like I planned, I learn from that and choose another option in the future. I can't keep doing the same actions and expect different results can I? Of course not!
So here is some free advice from Wardy. Pretend you ain't from round these parts partner and do what others do...Make it happen by making a way outta no way. No one ever said life is easy, but as along as your alive keep on trying to reach for the Sun and even if yOu fail, at least you will be amongst the stars.

Ward...

Insecurities and the problems it brings your dudez......

Everyone will go through the emblematic situation of having an insecure partner at some point in their lives. The typical theme is that ""men""are the jealous ones in relationships & we've all seen some poor, unsuspecting sap get interrogated by his lady for glancing at the dipp with the....um let's just say ((big eyes)). Face it fellas, women are far more insecure of jealous than us men folk and we can not avoid this one fact, but the rhetorical question I ask is: Why are you insecure in the first dawg gone place?????

No matter how one answers allegations that they are not interested in other females, women always need to hear that they are still as beautiful as the first time you laid eyes on them. Women have this constant need for affirmation and if you've been caught looking at another woman, this becomes especially important. For that matter, if you are cool with an ex-girlfriend or anybody in your life that is nice looking: U can expect to have a good old fashioned argument at some point. I so enjoy the creative ways that the insecurity will surface. It may be doing an innocent (or so it seemed at first) text message or she might just come right out and ask you U if you think so and so is attractive. Don't answer that question....ever..... Be very aware if they say they asked this question for no reason at all??? Otherwise, you would have not asked the question in the first place, if is was nothing-right? How many times does someone ask you what size underwear your wear and then walk off in 2 the sunset!!

When looking at the whole ordeal in perspective, what does it all really mean? Probably, that women really care for and love us. Perhaps this feeling of loving you is overwhelming or you may just be to big or too strong or too wide..... Women sometimes use strange techniques to display their affection. So, as a rule of thumb, always be attentive to her needs. Perhaps our mind will never stop wandering about this or that but we can at least appreciate our woman's beauty too. On the other hand, beware because jealousy of this sort can have negative connotations. Men tend to say what we mean and mean what we say. We learn early on during the dating phase that once words are spoken- they can seldom be retracted but can very very easily be thrown back up into yo face during your next UN-planned argument!

Of course there are natural situations that a woman can and should be insecure and you probably know what I mean. But the thing that gets me, is when "she" looks for reasons to use her insecurity skills. For example, if you gotta urinate more than normal doesn't mean you are cheating, it could mean you are drinking a whole bunch of soda pop at your job! Also if you don't call her in 2 days doesn't mean you broke up, it means you tired, adjusting to life situations or just busy. I know some women who have the loving kindness to dump via text messages...how high school is that. Its all fair in love and insecurities. Ironically, I think we know in our minds that we already know what we want to do and just need any reason to make it happen.

Last but not least important, men have issues too! We want a dime piece but then get mad when another brotha appreciates our jewel. Trust and believe that U will have to jump through some hoops for your insecure woman if you feel she is really worth it, just be sure you can do like New Edition asked of you......Can you stand the rain?

Ward...

StOp datING like you are ScarD.......

Love isn't suppose to hurt or frustrate you: but sometimes it does exactly that! You try hard with all your might, and fight hard to do what is right, but still you find your self in a situation that has you feeling undecided about continuing the situation that once gave you such high hopes and happiness.
Some may start to expect perfection from you, but incapable of giving that back to you in return: but still somehow think that is fair?? Some examples of perfection expectations that I think are challenging include.... Guaranteeing that you will never hurt them or that you will never leave them or even possibly that you will always anticipate their needs and meet them even before they are aware of them. Come on people, unless you are Jesus, I think you may have a problem with these big shoes to try and fill!
I cramm to understand why people insist on dating like they are scared of....well dating! When you are dealing with imperfect people, you are gonna have some bumps in the road. I think we sometimes forget that just like we have past experiences that has shaped our present, that so do that other we are dating? Communication has to be paramount if you are to get over your fear. Tell the person how you feel and what you are willing to give to get what you want and need. If you never put yourself out there you may never release this fear.
I have been hurt before and have hurt some people too. But you have to look at everything as a learning situation and go forward. You either learned that this works or doesn't work. Never a failure because your past will end up holding your present and future hostage!
Ward.

Sometimes who are R izz not what you want Everybody 2 ""C""!

I sometimes toss and turn with the myriad of stories that I encounter in my daily life. For example, a man who moved a lot of weight (Sold Drugs) as his profession- ends up getting caught and goes to jail. Turns out he is a righteous dude- friendly, articulate and very giving in nature. Should I hate the fact that he chose that decision for his life or should I just accept that he was a savvy business man who chose a profession that is not legal?

I understand many of the bad choices that good people have made over the course of their lives. I do not condone wrong or even judge it, The Bible makes it pretty clear about consequences of our actions. I just have a sour taste in my mouth when I ponder that facts that the role models our youth look up to do not always have the best intentions.

What about the man who beats his wife (or vice versa) in private, yet he is a prominent figure in the community, work or his place of worship? What is the rationale behind that? Is it stress, jealousy, or ignorance? I don't know, but this type of action has been going on for years.

Then there is the trust thing. What if your dude asks (U)his woman, for the email passwords or voice mail codes. Is he jealous, controlling or just plain crazy? I think that it could be just looking for reassurance to ease some crazy ideals that others may have planted in his mind or some stupid talk show. Why not just be open with your mate? I guess many people would have different views, but I know I would have no problem with be open and honest........Do You?

Ward

To tripp or not to tripp: That is the question

Words can up lift or tear down in a single sentence. The ironic thing about it is that depending on who the messenger is affects the reaction of the hearer! Usually people whom we are close to are the ones we seem to hurt the most. I assume its because we know they love us and we are more open to experiment with our response expressions. We may yell at them, scream and even throw things at the person. But the question to ask one's self is: Would I do this at my job if someone rubbed me the wrong way? The answer is very clear to me. We know we have something to loose if we act less than professional (your job sucker).
I understand first hand, how temps can flair up and force people to make a decision to act like a christian or go straight "ignorant". I know I am a work in progress and have been known to loose my temper a time or 2 but for the most part I try keep my cool for the most part. I think any other way of handling matters makes the one going off look or seem crazy. Think about it, if you saw a guy yelling and screaming at another dude who is standing there just being calm: Who do you think is the idiot?
Recently I had a chance encounter where I asked a loved one did they think they were a mean person? The response was "What did I do now"??? I meant no disrespect, I just thought the actions they were displaying at the moment was very rude! I tried to be non-confrontational but it didn't work.
Well to make a long story short, I learned that it is sometimes better to just know when to walk away and let sleeping chickens to bark or what ever the saying is. Perhaps we all just want to loved and accepted for who we are. In this process, I think we sometimes forget that we are giving all of our positive energy to people at work and outside the home. Looking back, I could have asked my question N a more positive light. I know I don't like hearing myself get down on my faults so I know others don't want 2 hear me point out there-lol! Well you know what they always say: family...you can't live with them and you can't Kill em!...

Ward

The ArT of dumping your confusing other......

Infidelity, different goals, or meeting someone else are all reasons why people choose to break up. But for many people the process may not be that simple. Even if there is a fight and emotions run high, people may say words out of anger and then break up. Usually however, they may talk, reconcile, and try to work things out, only to have another outburst where they suddenly decide to call it quits again. I call that the return of unresolved issues. Face it now or later.

The art of breaking up heavily rests upon the personalities of the people involved in the relationship. Sometimes, there is just no other way to end a relationship then to do so abruptly and as tactfully as possible. However, in some situations, there are many peaceable solutions to help a relationship dissolve calmly and with a friendship still in tact. Of course, I don't mean yall can still kick it, but you still be cool if you see each other on the skreet!

If emotional or physical abuse was involved in the relationship then you need to get out of the situation immediately, no matter how strongly you feel that you may be in love. With that said, in other situations breaking up can be done in a way that both parties remain friends if they choose to. Never have someone else tell your partner for you. Break ups should be done respectfully and you should always respect your partner enough to explain to them the reason for the breakup.

If you are determined that you should end the relationship, then you should think beforehand of what you are going to say, the reason for the break up, and try your best to consider the other person’s feelings. Delivery of the message is important and a calm tone of voice can help make the transition smoother. Some people find that they can express things better in a letter. There is nothing wrong with writing down your thoughts and feelings and breaking up through a letter. With today’s technology, many people are finding email a preferable tool to deliver a break up message. This is a matter of preference and may hinge upon the way you communicated throughout the relationship. If email was a vital form of communication, then it may be appropriate to discuss your break up this way. However, if you never sent an email back and forth, deciding to start with a “Dear John” letter, may in fact be very inappropriate.

The key points to remember in any break up is to explain your position as clearly as possible. When you are sure that you need to end the relationship, stick to your guns. Some times the other party will try to make you feel guilty and manipulate you into remaining in the relationship. You know when its over. If you have decided that you need to move on with your life, then do so. Every case is unique, but when its over don't belittle the other person because no one made you date him/her in the first place so you are as stupid they are if you talking sideways about them. Keep in mind people are human and forgiveness of past mistakes is divine. You will find someone for you one day, but take time to work on "self" because if you have a pattern of issues with the opposite sex, then you can continue your cycle of break up to make up. Rule number#1017: Work on thy self before trying to start a relationship!
Ward

Take it back Tuesdays with Ward

Tonight I did absolutely nothing after work. O.k. I did a little but I was tired. I had 4 gotten how draining work can be. Think about it, after you stumble out of bed, get dressed, make sure the kids are cool and bellies are on full, jump in the ride, fight traffic all the way to the job then get there and put in 8 long ones, then rush back home......well you getz my point. It takes getting a good nights sleep, eating right and having balance in yo life mannnnnn.
Well, my daughter and I (see pic above) were just vibing on the sofa talking about the important things in "HER" life like VP Jackson-Sponge Bob-Meet the Browns, the bus ride to and from school and her spiritual goals for the future. We talk like this for about an hour daily. She talks non stop for about 10 minutes then gives me a chance to "attempt" to jump in like a game of double dutch, but she starts up again when she remembers some other life changing events-lol!
Well I did manage to share with her that even though we live in Indianapolis, that doesn't make me a Colts fan. I only wore that freaking shirt cause it was on sale! She agrees with me and told me I should do like her and wear a Hana Montana shirt. I think we will agree to disagree on this one.
Ward....

Do I want to be like my father?

I recall growing up in South Bend Indiana thinking how much I hate all that snow that surely came each and every winter! Of course I lived with my mother and father and some girl.....lets just call her my sister. We had modest dwelling in a pretty nice neighbor hood. It was a scary time but it was also a learning time. We were the only black family in my hood and the only black kids at the school we attended. I recall having our family cars covered in eggs and those special "N" words being yelled at me on the daily. I can't tell you how trying of a time this was for an impressionable young black person in America.
The reason I titled this one what I did is because I think of how things are now and I have to chuckle to myself because so much has changed and so many of us have forgotten where we came from. My father and I are at complete opposite endz of the spectrum of life from my perspective. My father is one of those old skool men who thought being a good Dad meant working all day and two jobs if need be to provide for your family. It meant never playing ball with me, it meant never saying I am sorry and it meant never sitting down and listen to me read a book! I ain't mad at him cause he didn't really have his Dad in his life so he did the best he thought he could with what he had to work with. Myself on the other hand, having two daughters, always makes time to go over home work with my kids, attend events that my kids do, throw the Frisbee and basketball and bike riding on the regular. I know how important spending time with your kids are. I feel if a kid has the choice of choosing between having money or the time and attention of a broke parent: I am sure they will take the parents 100% of the time. Why you ask? First, because the kids did not ask to be born and kids look to parents as our role models. Little girls wear mama's shoes and purse in imitation of her and little boys try to be the man of the house when Dad is away.
I don't blame my Dad for the past because I see situations as learning and never failure ventures. I learned that in order to have my kids want to be around me and respect me requires that I learn to be the best parent I can be and when I fall short, admit my mistakes and keep it moving. So no I don't want to be like my father I want to be my own man who has no regrets of the past and high hopes of the future. I never wanted to be a father, but now that I am, I understand relationship issues better. I don't want my kids having male abandonment issues-lol.
If I could talk to other fathers, I would really stress the importance of having balance your life. If you have kids, you can't be all wrapped up in your job, or spouse or work. You gotta give every one a piece of you, but the family has to come first. Some of us never get this point. I have many friends who don't spend time with their kids at all, not because they don't love them, but they can't get along with their baby mama's. Men will choose to just walk away from their seeds than deal with the negativity of a woman scorn. Doesn't make it right, but it does make it a reason.
As for my Dad and I today, we talk occasionally but we are by no means close. If he needs my help I would be there, but I won't go out my way to go on vacations with him, or call him daily to say Hi and how are you doing? Its just to late for us now. He has another wife and they are happy- just like me- living life as if we are distant associates. Sure I wish I had a father I could go to the driving range, fix the car with or watch the basketball game, but that ain't my reality. Only thing left for me to do now is that best I can for my kids. I admire those momz who was both mom and dad. I feelz ya.

Ward.....

The Marriage counselor and Wardz wisdumbb

Today at Orientation I basically worked on proper holds and take down techniques of aggressive individuals. It was quite intensive because the entire class had to get on the floor and hold down others. It was real combat but a necessary precaution that had to be learned in order for us to be effective in what it is that we do! I would suggest that if my work mates are gonna be this close to others face that they should invest in severals cases or truck loads of altoids. Heck, let me buy them as my gift from me to them....
Well as class went on a late comer snuck in the back of the class and took a seat beside the Wardster. As she later introduced herself and said she had her Masters degree in Marriage and Family Counseling, I knew I had to speak with her about my favorite topic.......Marriage.
Turns out that ole girl (Lets called her Sydnee) really knows her stuff about couples. We vibed for at least 2 hours because I have a lot of questions and she had all the answers. One thing that she emphasised is that couples need to learn to communicate in ways that both are able to understand. It seems that couples tend to think the other person should suddenly become a mind reader and know what the other wants. It usually doesn't work out to well with this type of expectations lol! I personally think that when we first meet someone we are enthralled with the differences of the other person, but soon enough we start to dislike that our mates don't think like we do. We start with the "Why did he/she do or say this or that?" Why do we do that. Are we not individuals who intelligent enough to have our our view points? Guess not otherwise why would we argue so much?
The counselor also told me that people come in to the office and say things like "Fix him" or she has to try to not seem like she is on the woman's side. It does make sense that when emotions are high enough for you to go seek professional help then you want immediate gratification ASAP!
Today, just really made me think about how frustrated people are today. We are moaning and groaning and just getting run down with all the distractions that affect us day by day. Really couples just want peace at the end of the day but don't know how to achieve that elusive goal. We experiment with emotions on those we love, by being mean to loved one and not speaking for days or weeks on end. We go to bed angry and wake up the same way. It seems we are giving our positive energy and actions to those at the job who could careless about us. In the words of Rodney King....Why can't we all just get a good counselor or something like that?
Ward

Alone but not Lonely.......A male's perspective

I can say for the most part that men are universally the same which makes this entry very easy to write. As I sat in a room full of men the other men during a recent orientation, I looked at each of them and wondered what they actually knew about themselves or their women. I made it my mission to befriend them and find out if people can be in love or alone but not lonely! For time sake I will only discuss tw subjects.
Male #1' name is Detroit. (That is his real name too!) He is a 38 year old African male who has been dating the same girl for the last 7 years and her name is Mona. After a few moments of male bonding over football he became an open honest book about anything I wanted to know about him. I told him that I write about relationships and could use his experiences for research. He was down, and told me how he met his lovely with a frown on his face ( a sign that usually means he now regrets it- a smile when flashing back is a good thing!)Detroit said they met while at Superbowl party at his friends house. Mona didn't like him right off presumably because he stepped on her foot in the kitchen. He spent the whole night apologizing to her and they ended up exchanging numbers. Fast forward 7 years later and they are living 2 geather and he is miserable. He didn't know she did not know how to cook, keep a clean house, control her temper or let the man take the lead. They had numerous fights over these issues and it seems to have driven a wedge between them that still exists to this day. Detroit says he loves or what he thinks based on their situation, but he said the first chance he finds someone he really vibes with, he is outta there! I asked was he lonely, and Detroit said he would not call it lonely, rather bidding out his time. I think that is a typical guy don't you?
Male #2's name is Danny. He is a 41 year old African American male who is divorced and currently living with his new woman. According to Danny, (Amy) she is extra jealous and worried that he is cheating on her. I asked why she be that way? Because every other guy she dated cheated on her so she thinks since she loves him so much that he must be going to follow the pattern that she has been following. Danny stays with that woman because he is skerd to date someone new. He feels that he is outta shape, receding hair line and tons of bills. Danny say emotionally she with holds affection if she thinks he is lusting after women on t.v. commericals, listening to music of pretty women like Janet Jackson or Beyonce! She has the ability to make his yell and scream at the top of his voice when he gets to his point. Danny said finally saying this out loud helps him to realize how stupid it sounds. He said that she is so jealous that they paid $500 bucks to take a lie detector test that proved he wasn't cheating and he passed! Amy still said he was cheating because the machine was probably broke???????? I started to slap Danny in the mouth my self for putting up with that. I sat there thinking " Hey Danny your manhood called and said it misses you" but of course I wold never say that...................unless asked lol!

Well the point of these entries is that two men both have situations that could have different view points if we asked the women of these men. However, what I can see from what I heard is that the communication is broken down and trust issues are apparent. Seems to this writer that the things that bring you together will tear you apart. I know many of us men are letting the women down in areas, but women it would behoove you if you allow the man to feel like he is the most important person in your life and more than likely he will respond the same to you. Find creative ways to get him to do what you want. Suggest two options that you like and ask him to choose and he will think it was his ideal. Take the basic boy and show him what kind of man you need with actions less with your mouth running all the time lol! Seriously I heard a woman can do with a mouth what a dude can do with his hands. Not saying its right, but an opinion.
Well there you have it. Two males that R alone but not lonely. They put up with their women and both wouldn't marry them if they struck the lottery twice. So is love a battlefield or the source of all that is good? You decided, but keep in mind, "Remember to always be good to yourself...... Hummm check back later on my issues with women who earn more $ than their men.
Ward up yalll.......

Fill ur cribb With evidence of love

There R so many distractions in life and reminders of the issues we deal with on the daily that it is crucial to counter this negativity with evidence of love. Yall know I am extra cheap so I read some ways to make this happen on a scale that I can afford!!!
Evidence of love can be anything beautiful, special to you, artistic, airy, or light. Shoot it can be anything that reminds you of love, kindness,gentleness, and compassion. It can be your kids pictures that they drew for you, fresh cut flowers, philosophy hanging on your wall, spiritual books on the coffee table or pictures of you loved ones! You can even put out an heart felt letter from some 1 who loves you. I must say that it makes me feel good just writing this information down cause I believe this much in this advice.
Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, but I have to go now cause my 7 and 9 year old artists have just created another ummm........... let's just say master piece!!!

Ward....

What I am thinkN and what I am doing!!!

*Lately I have been writing in my journal at least ten minutes a day. I don't care if I don't have anything to talk about, I just free style and put pen to paper. I don't re-read my thoughts for now, but I will in about 6 months. Who knows this may turnout to be a movie of the week-lol!
*I am gearing up to give a public talk in October. I feel pretty good about the information that I plan to present.
*Currently still reading "Nigger" by Dick Gregory and "Make it Happen" by Kevin Lyles. These are powerful and inspirational pieces of work. I don't know what may come of my new found knowledge-lol!
*I don't understand why certain groups feel the over whelming urge to have 5 thousand ladders on their vehicles???
*Why is it that no matter how fine a woman is, she will still find flaws with in her self?
*Why do men keep the same hair style for life?
*Why don't women get along with other women, I don't care if they have been child hood pals. Let a man enter in your lives and yall get straight gutter! Men say bros before....well u know?
*Is dating someone better than being married to them????
*Y is it that the people who try so hard to do the right thing R the onez who are subject to burnout while your do nothing uncle will live to be 98 and stress free.
*Why did everybody end up hating Omarosa?
*Is it some type of honor to be known as the world's tallest midget?
*How come people who never read the Bible think the know everything about it.
*Is Tyler Perry that good or are we just starved for black movies?

Ward

Why Kan't we be friendz

The age old question of being friends is upon us yet again! Is it possible or is it just a way of wasting time until you feel you are ready to go your separate wayz? Sure many a couple have tried it but usually one or both become extra jealous or very judgemental over your conversations that border on curiosity and down right nosiness.
The way Wardy looks at this is like a pencil. If the pencil breaks in the middle you can always tape it back together, but it will always be weak at the particular point. Likewise when two try to be friends after dating, you have a weakness for that person which can manifest in a variety or unpredictable wayz. You may suddenly want your baby daddy back and he may suddenly enjoy being drama free-lol!
Personally, I think I would have no problem being friends with Whoopee Goldberg, the security guard from the Wayans brothers show or Oprah (well maybe for Oprah I would do something strange for some change-lol!)
If you are a woman how hard would it be for you to resist Flavor Flav? Now lets flip this thang like Urkel did and became Stephon but in this case Flav became Boris Kojoe? Whitney Houston we have a problem. Look how they look at each other, the touch when they talk and the dreamy eyes when they hear the other person's name. Why not just be enemies?
I firmly believe that we are attracted to what we are attracted to, so being friends is a ticking time bomb until something explodes (get your mind right Supa dupa).
So to answer the question of why cant be friends......the simple answer is because we share too much past...Good and Bad......
Ward

Nigger....

A word I never use. Don't have a problem with U saying it but it just ain't my bag...ya feelz me! I am reading this new book by Dick Gregory. Very impressed so far and here is a quote I really enjoyed.

"Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here' "I said 'That;s all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken'. "About that time these 3 cousins came in, you know the ones I mean, Klu, Kluck and Klan, and they say;'Boy, were're givin' you fair warning'. Anything you do to that chicken, we're gonna do to you,' Remember, boy, anything you do to hat chicken, we're gonna do to you.' So I put down my knife and fork, and I picked up that chicken, and kissed it"


Love this book mannn

Ward.....

Double standards that drive me krazee

Is it me or do you hate it when men treat their daughters differently compared to the treatment of their sons. Boys are told to go out and get as many women as they can cause its cool. Shoot look at Hugh Hefner, that Bama is 80+ years old and has at least 4 dymes with him at all times and nobody complains. Women are termed.....well lets just say some not so nice words by society for having more than one lover. Also, if she only dates men who have money then of course she is a gold digger!!
Well its no wonder that double standards are so common place in society. We perpetuate this behavior from a young age.

I think women are better known to be the ones who change their minds and expect men to be alright with it. Its not alright, but it is expected by the men who are half way aware of this sudden change up possibility. I can't tell you how many times we started out going to the grocery store to get some milk and ended up at the mall catching the 70% off sale at forever 22!

Women have a tendency to allow emotions to rule their thought process. It doesn't matter if they told you "Yes I will do this or that" because she has now changed her mind. So as the male he has to deal with it. My boy Larry said he has this girl who likes to kiss him all the time and get him all hot and bothered and then suddenly stop. I told him, I think her pay off is the kiss. His pay off is intimacy. In this instance- you have a winner and a loser. This will leave one partner frustrated either way if the other gives in. I guess for a guy that is like going out to a great restaurant and ordering all his favorite foods and then when the food arrives, the waiter suddenly takes all the food away. But the waiter can always say I am sorry and everything will be alright right---NOT!

Everyone has the right to change his or her mind, but don't think the other party won't have a reaction of your action. Sometimes people are counting on your YES to actually mean yes. I guess it boils down to what people will think of you when they hear your name based off of the actions and choices you make. I am going to eat now, or maybe I am not I am not sure....SOrry!


Ward

The day ThE WaRd CriED........

Like most males that I know crying is not something that we do on the regular. Personally for me, the last time I cried was when my momz died back in 1991- yelp 18 years and some change. Well the hurtful situation occurred this past Sunday when I tried to reach out to a family member. Honestly, I don't know if it was an intervention or a discussion that just turned all the waaaaaaaaaaaay to the left.
During the conversation I learned that change is not only difficult for individuals but it can be down right impossible for the hard hearted. The person in question has a severe love of material possession that rivals Lots wife from the scriptures. In this day and age many people have to make life changes in order to continue 4ward in the circle we call surviving. If you can't let go of what you can no longer afford, then you are going to find out the hard way why people end up in the loony bend!
The thing that made me cry was my relative showed me how mean and unyielding unhappy people can be. I saw first hand how one person can destroy or pull apart an entire family with a few choice words of attack and then hide behind the " I don't want you to attack me tactic". I am unsure if I am the only guy who has two people in his family that are so similar and don't even know it, then again stubbornness is common. I do understand* that we shape our values based off of our experiences, but at some point it would behoove us all if took a long look at the person in the mirror. If everybody you meet has issues with you and your thinking,your attitude- that could be a sign that pe
Back to the tears...I just felt so overwhelmed about the fact that with all the things going on in the world today such as death, unemployment, diseases and uncertainty: How can people turn their backs on family. I sat there thinking that family is suppose to have your back, be your support group or place of comfort from the harsh cold realities of the world and all its problems that arise daily. Arms folded and the adamant screams of "no" and I did this and i did that and nobody likes me is a little much from someone that I admired so much for being a pillar in society.
I assume crying is not that bad, but for me to cry gives me a little taste of why that old Indian dude use to cry on T.V. back in the daze when he looked at how Americans trashed the land that his forefathers formerly roamed so freely. I accept that it is what it is, but I gotta really take some time to ponder how to deal with negative people. (Note to self: the best way to help stubborn people is to not become one of them).
I am WArd!

My thoughts on Chris Breeze and Kanye West.....

(I am seriously thinking about getting me a radio show which will allow me to express my thoughts on the weeks in review. I talked to "The Cooper" who said we can tag team this thang, so keep your eyes open for this in the future.)
Anyway I find it amazing that people are more concerned about what Prez Obama has to say about Kanye being a Jack@$# than his health care plan-lol (Boden) due to his recent actions on MTV's stage! I think Kanye just wanted some attention and did his usual acting out thang. MTV know how this dude rolls and yet they allow him to have free reign on live events, so what do you expect. After all, Kanye helped me to understand that George Bush don't care about black people! He is my hero-lol! My radio co-partner made a valid point on Kanye also. Have you ever considered that since Kanye is emotional that he just speaks from the heart. He meant no harm, just said what he thought. I must admit that is a perspective that I find true but didn't really consider until today. I understand that dude misses his mama, but he does need to take some time to chill and just get back in touch with life and the good that the world has to offer. I believe that there is still some good in the world, we just have to stop and smell the feet....I mean crack.....I mean...you know what I mean sucka.
Chris Brown is doing community service and Tom Joyner ain't giving the youngN no slack. I heard his show today and became bothered for the first time. Tom said that no matter what a woman does to a man he should never put his hands on her?????? I beg to differ Mr. Joyner. I don't condone abuse ever, but truthfully we all been there at some point in our lives is we have ever dated. I think that both Chris and Rhiana should be picking up trash on the side of the highway. Chris being punished is attacking half the problem in my opinion. Think about this, Men grow up playing games with winners and loosers in basketball, football and hockey. Women grow up playing Doctor, doll and having tea parties. So sometimes when the two intertwine we have choices to make. Fast forward, if a man is saying get out of my face before I do this-this and that and you keep pushing and daring him--"Don't be surprised when you wake up with an eye V drip in your arm lying in a hospital bed. From the guys perspective, you played the game and lost. So I think Rhi-Rhi was responsible for half the fight too. I have two daughters and I don't encourage them to play chicken with cars in the neighborhood and I definitely tell them when someone is talking Quayzee to shut up and look for an exit. It seems that when we have the threat of consequences like being arrested, shoot or hurt- we tend to change our actions. In dating we forget to learn and grow from each other, rather we try to control and dominate. Really you gotta know what knowledge is and when to allow wisdom to step in and save your life by application.
Sure some will disagree and say that hitting is wrong, but wouldn't it behoove us all to have proactive measurements rather re activeness! Chris Brown may look like a man and sound like a man, but really he is a young boy who needs guidance not criticism. Point: If this were two women who got in2 this big fight, would anyone be on the side of the road picking up trash? I think not. If yall really want to help the situation, pray for these people as well as others and learn to lead by example...

Eye B WaRd.......

Negative Nurse Know it all.............

So today I had to a drug screen for this new position I am going to take. Since one of my many jobs use to be that of a Toxicologist who ran Chemistry Analysers, I knew the routine and what to expect or so I thought. The one thing that you can never predict is people!!!
This is what happened. I arrived at Kendricks and went in with my reading materials to start the waiting game. They want you to sit out in the lobby for about 15 to 20 minutes in case you got warm clean urine sample under your arm pits or something deceitful to beat the test. Obviously I don't do drugs so I had nothing to hide! Well as I sit there in the lobby, three other black kids are there. What ever they were doing there, the staff was very concerned about them. They eventually said they had to leave and would take their test later. The staff ran out after them saying they are ready for them now, but the kids kept walking. So alone sat the remaining black dude......Me!
So since I was black, I must have known these other black folk and what ever they was up too ~right? Wrong sucka, yall know all black don't really look alike. Keep reading B4 I get upset and smack myself! Well I finally gets called back and not a moment to soon cause your boi had to go bad! This mean nurse comes over and gives me her Stern speech on what to do. I follow the directions and came out and handed her the sample to which she replied that I was on the lower end of the temperature scale. I asked how low and she said it was around 91 degree instead of 98 and that she can't make these situations up out of thin air! I knew what she was implying. She thought I had someone Else's urine and it was cooling off. I told her she could take my temperature or I could give another sample cause I didn't like what she was implying. I know that everybody temperature is not 98.6. Its just an average. Next thing I know the nurse tells me that they accidentally threw away my urine sample. Hummm what a surprise. Well they passed me on to the Dr in the next room. He was actually cool, so I told him what happened and what I know about the testing. He quickly apologized and told me that I was good and everything checks out good and he over wrote everything. He checked the nurse who was having a bad day and bad attitude and wasn't afraid to use it.
I think all this stemmed from the other people in the lobby getting her upset. Was this another case of racism, prejudice or just bad customer service? IDK, but I didn't like it. Nevertheless, I am working on forgiving negative situations because that is one point that the Bible focuses on. What a day.

Ward