WHAT WOMEN CAN DO WHEN TALKING TO MEN
Get right to the point. When women talk to each other about a particular event, they are frequently very descriptive. They supply all the details as they go along to make sure the listener completely understands the situation. And most women expect to hear these details.
Men are usually more interested in the outcome than in how it was reached. They find the details distracting and are troubled when they pile up. Impatience and interruptions often follow.
Example: A woman manager is telling a male colleague about a meeting she just attended. She tells him what she said, what the client said, what her boss said, and her male coworker gets impatient. She thinks he’s being insensitive, but he’s simply anxiously awaiting the outcome or conclusion.
Helpful: When women talk to men, they can bridge the communication gap by starting with the ending of the story, then filling in the details.
This is true whether the situation is professional or yo dude. If you tell a man up front why he needs to know about what you’re saying, he’ll be more open to the rest of the story.
Don’t let politeness be misinterpreted as agreement. Women often smile and nod while someone is speaking. A man may interpret this to mean that a female listener agrees with what he is saying when it’s actually just a gesture of encouragement that means, Yes, I’m listening. Go on. Then, when it turns out that the woman listener verbally disagrees with him, he views her as being fake.
Helpful: Avoid such problems by not hiding your opinion in order to be polite. Men appreciate women who are direct and honest from the start.
If you disagree with a man, say so. Interrupt him if you have to. And don’t take it personally if he does not immediately accept your point of view. Be ready to defend it if you have to.
Lower the pitch of your voice. Nervousness can cause a woman’s throat and vocal muscles to become tense. As a result, her voice gets higher -- and men may perceive this tone as judgmental, whiny or helpless.
To have your words taken seriously by men, teach yourself to speak in an adult’s, not a child’s, voice.
Don’t insist that a man “open up.” This problem arises most often in personal relationships, but it can be an issue with office teammates as well.
Saying, I know something is bothering you, and I wish you would tell me about it is a red flag for a man. It makes him feel criticized, which is not conducive to self-revelation. In addition, too many women are disappointed when men don’t reveal the “right” or “deep enough” feelings.
The best way to encourage a man to talk freely is to provide a calm environment and invite him to talk, without pressuring him.
Example: I get the impression something is on your mind. If you ever want to talk about it, I’m ready to listen. This way we feel ready to talk on our terms. Men tend to be problem solvers and need to think it out, while women need to talk it out and project that view back on men.
Don’t put down male-rituals. Women solidify their relationships by paying each other compliments and sharing personal information about themselves. Men tend to use humor and sarcasm or talk about man subjects.
Too often, women act as though this type of bonding is stupid or trivial. They roll their eyes or change the subject when men talk about a sports event or an action movie.
Helpful: Lighten up. Recognize that these remarks are attempts to establish a connection, and treat them in the spirit they’re meant. That does not mean you should suffer quietly through boring play-by-play descriptions, but don’t interrupt immediately or make men think what they are talking about is moronic.
The truth is that 1 can say what anyone should or should not do to be a great communicator. We really just need to learn a way to accept that everybody learns, talks and thinks in unique ways. In other words get in where you fit in suckers.....
I am Ward......
