I was inspired to rethink my views on this topic because a friend of mine just got engaged and wasn't ready to jump the broom no time soon???? I mean its Kool and The Gang how ever she wants to play the situation, but If I could have told her my advice, suggestions and steps to take, it would have went a little something like disss........
Nagging doubts about marriage are normal, even when your in love! Heck, hearing about somebody getting a divorce is as common as hearing about traffic jams on I465! The realness of the thang is simple: love won't pay the bills or cover finical issues that may arise. $$ needs to be discussed and planned out before the marriage. The Bible is quoted at Luke 14:28-"Who of you that wants to build a tower does not first sit down and calculate he expense". Once you in marriage and find that number 1 reason couples argue (money sucka) then don't look at me with the deer in head lights look! Talk to your mate about how the money will be budgeted, how much can each spend on purchases w/o consulting the other, or do yall want separate account like room mates do. People with separate accounts show they don't trust the other, but what will happen when one is short on his half of the rent. Will he be the only one getting evicted? I think not!!!I suggest working as a team NOW!!!!!
2nd issue I think that has mucho weight on a relationship..... Communication!!!! No two people are gonna agree on everything, but it is important to know how you are gonna solve issues. A strong union is made up of two people who can openly acknowledge a difference and the work to settle that matter maturely and as friends. I don't believe in going 2 bed angry or dragging an issue out for days of arguing in silence (not talking). If your solution to blow ups is to run off and slam the door and pretend the mate doesn't exist (well your being childish to start) I suggest writing down how you want to solve blow ups while your calm and try 2 put into action when the time is right!If you learn 2 respond better to conflict now, you will gain a skill that is crucial to a happy marriage, suckers!
Also I think many men get married and think they will get sex on demand like some Cable option. They forget to treat their women like the Queens they are most of the time and who are worthy of double honor not only because they are your mate but more so, because that is the woman you chose to be with 4 life hopefully. Any short comings she has---you do to now and vice versa. Women have to keep in mind that our creator created men to populate the Earth and therefore had his sexual urges more prominent. A woman will do good to make sure her boo is taken care of because there are plenty of women out here looking for a good man, besides its a major benefit of being married. An occasional good meal wont hurt the situation either-lol( see previous blog)
I could go on about this topic, but as far as my newly engaged hommie. I think you know things that are present in your relationship that you are secretly hoping will dissapate, but deep down inside you know it won't. Can you deal with that out come? In sucessessful marriages, husbands and wives view each other as friends, communicate well, know how to resolve conflicts, and view their rlationshop as a lifelong union. And last time I checked, lifelong is a L-O-N-G T-I-M-E !
I am pro-marriage and learned that its something that you really have to want to do or be in. Its not always easy but you don't want some 1 with major issues like drug abuse, violence or the wandering eye! I have realized that when you have real doubts with solid evidence* don't be so quick to walk away......Run......
I am Ward.....
No comments:
Post a Comment