*Why do people work at restaurants and have an attitude with the customers?
*Why is that people can go to McDonalds and still have 2 stare at the menu (it hasn't changed since 1956)
*How come when you put on your turn signal to merge to the next lane, other cars speed up.
*Why do women always hug each other, but when guys hug -we uhhh, I mean they are deemed GAY! What up with that?
*How come in a deck of cards the King of Hearts is the only dude with no mustache?
*Did you know a lighting bolt is 5 times hotter than the surface of the sun!
*How come most women lipsticks contains fish scales....yuck!
**Why do dog owners let they dogs lick them and kiss them on the face, don't they know what dogs do with they mouths?
*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs darn it!
*Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
*Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
*If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
*Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
*Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
*If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
*Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?
*Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?
*When you perform a head count, do Siamese twins count as one or two?
*So you can wear a bikini in public but not underwear?
*Why are his-and-her presents always for her?
*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
*If a husband dies, the wife is called a widow. If a child's parents die, the child is called an orphan. Why isn't there a word for a parent that loses a child?
*Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
*Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
*Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
*Can a man get raped by a woman? Would she go to jail?
*The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet!
*The elephant is one of the few mammals that can't jump!
*America once issued a 5-cent bill!
*Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
*In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.
*In Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum.
*Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!
*A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day!
*Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the mornings!
*Why do I always end with ....I am Ward?
I am Ward
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