Monday, February 14, 2011
This so called Barber...........
The other day I was feeling like I needed to have a fresh hair cut and I wasn't in the mood to do it my self. So I thought for a moment, where should Wardy go????? Well I jumped in the van and rode down Arlington Ave and came across a small shop with a Barber standing in the door way as if he knew I was coming, but looking back now, I think that sucka was just waiting like a spider on the web looking 4 any sucka to get trapped. Saturday was my day I guess-lol!
I slowly got out of my ride and walking what seemed like the worlds longest mile to that door and the dude winked at me and said come on in homey, I got you! I should have ran then but I kept thinking about how good it would be to have a nice freaking fade. So I finished walking the green mile and got in his chair and that's when the fun really began. The shop smelled like old fish grease and fresh baby poop, but I got past this to find that this dude (so called Barber) must have had the sharpest clippers in the world. It felt like he had figured out a way to put cat finger nails on a stick and was scratching my brain to the point where either I cried a little or used the rest room on my self(I think it was both).
He gave me a scabb line. That occurs when some 1 cuts you and scabb over. Yeah it hurt, but I just sat there and took it like the "G" i bee! He spent 25 minutes trying get my line right! Everybody knows my line is crooked and been that way for years, but THIS man decided to make my line his personal mission in life to make it correct. I almost jumped out the chair and and tell the dude that he should go to McDonald's and start a new career, but I knew it was almost over......or so I thought.
Do you know after the torture, this sucka had the nerve to apply- what I am sure must be gasoline- around my head. I knew that would be painful, but when the smoke alarms went off from my head burning I almost lost it. I kept smelling burning bacon, but it was my freaking head. He hands me the mirror and stands back and smiles like he just painted the Mona Lisa of the ghetto or better yet like he was J.J. from good times and he just painted the picture for the bank-lol! I just looked at my smoking head and then back at him and said "Oh yeah that's the look"! Why did I lie? Oh yeah, he cut my brain cells away!!!!!
I learned a powerful lesson on this one. Run don't walk away from fat barbers with no clients standing in a door way with jelly stains on his smock humming the words to its a hard knock life. Ugggghhhhh where are my good barbers (besides me at- we need yall bros)
I am (still sore) Ward
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