Sunday, March 2, 2014

9 deep thoughts AND other crazy things....



What happens when you get 'half scared to death' twice?
Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If all the world's a stage, where does the audience sit?
Why are the alphabets in the order that they are? Is it because it's a song?
If you write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it called success?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If work is so terrific, how come you get paid for it?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too?
Are the good things that come to people who wait, the leftovers of people who went before them?
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality comes from morons?
Why aren't blueberries blue?
Why is Greenland called Greenland, when it's white and covered with ice?
Why is the word for "a fear of long words," hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
What if Batman gets bitten by a vampire?
Did the Mayans get bored after reaching 2012 or is the predication for real?
Can we spell creativity however we want?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Where are all the mentally handicapped parking spaces for people like me?
Has your mate ever called you at work to ask where the remote control is?
Was the person who invented the Express Lane at the grocery store properly thanked?
Why don't you ever see ads for advertising companies?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Why do all the superheroes wear underpants on the outside?
If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
Do pyromaniacs wear blazers?
When something is funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when you actually slap your thigh?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
I am WARD....

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