Single, beautiful, available, uh, maybe not, but most black women are not married. According to a recent study eye found researching the webb, black women have the highest chance of remaining unmarried, compared to white women,( but that is secondary-just true). The study also said there are 42% of black women who are currently unmarried, compared to 21% of white women. What gives in a man not wanting to marry one of the most beautiful treasures on Earth (Could it be that women are Krazy and men don't make them that way)? There could be a number of reasons, but the media actually plays a huge part, as well as the thinking of the black experience.
1. THE MEDIA- the media plays a part in most black women not being married? First, let’s look at how black women are often portrayed on television shows, music videos, the news, commercials and in movies. When it comes to television, most black women do not take any crap from other black people that they are around and people of other cultures. Most of the time, a black woman is given a part on a reality television shower sitcom, where she is indirectly being taken advantage of. We, the viewers see the end result and interpret it as the black woman being bitter, and/or angry. Don’t get me wrong, in today’s society, most people will do anything for a dollar and it has nothing to do with race or gender. Most of the time, black women are portrayed as being angry. Sometimes a black woman may be angry, after all, for years, she has watched the United States and the world take her for granted and has still had to bear children, often times in a single family unit. I have a friend who actually was a professional boxer who did work!!!
2. SETTLING FOR LESS – A woman of any race can get married, as long as she finds the right person. However, many black women have the tendency to settle for less. Instead of setting positive goals for finding a suitable husband or partner, women often look for the wrong traits in a man (how he looks, how much money it looks like he has—most of the time he is broke, or ends up broke because he was borrowing that boss money the whole time). A black woman may not take out the time to ask if he would make a good father, is he going to leave me as soon as I get pregnant, does he have other children? (and if so is he a good father to them?) A lot of times a black woman will stick with the first man who shows her attention and he may be no good for her, but he may stick around and not ask to marry her right away and most frequently not marry her at all. How many times have we heard someone say, "Aint no good men out there"!
3. HEARTBREAK HOTEL- Let’s face it once any woman gets her heart broken, she is not going to want to be in a serious and committed relationship. Most of time when women are hurt or done wrong time and time and again by men, they do not want to marry them. This may lead to any woman, wandered to a same sex relationship, or just dating around. Once a black woman has been hurt, she takes on the same role that many other women do in 2013, the role of either being celibate (which is extremely hard) or just “doing her” dating whoever, whenever! Tisk tisk tisk......
4. STICKING WITH THE BABY’S FATHER OR SOMEONE ELSE`S BABY`S FATHER — This one is so real from my perspective. I have a lot of friends who have dated someone who is a father to many kids. I say, run for the HILLS! Do not turn back either! Many times, once a man is the father of more than four kids and he is over 30,the chances of him getting married to you or any woman is like the chances of you hitting the Power ball jackpot twice in a week. Not saying ppl can't or don't change, but I’m telling you right now, there’s a whole lot of people who need Jesus. (Including myself). Being in a relationship with your baby’s father after having baby #1, #2 and #3 with him and still no ring is just plain crazy and a waist of time. He does not want to get married and will stall as long as he can 141,000,400 Miller lites cans later into the future. Having a baby with anyone who after one year or two hasn’t mentioned marriage, avoids the topic, or asks to change the subject means that they aren’t ready and they don’t wants to marry you yet. (or at all, better ask to be on the safe side).
5. TIRED OF WISHY WASHY WOMEN- Lets be real with ourselves, if you believe in a higher power, then you very well know that the woman was created to be a compliment for the man. Defininiton, can include to help, assist and make easier! I can't tell you how many sistas/white ones also- that speak about how "ain't no man gonna run them and how they ain't her daddy", yet and still these are the very ones who are single and will never-ever-ever get married. True, some don't want to be married, but then again, isn't that the purpose of dating? To get married????? Some women use sex as a weapon. Men were created with a stronger sex drive compared to most females and women sometimes will use sex to get love (bad move). Perhaps if a woman read and followed Proverbs Chapter 31, we may find fewer posts of sadness on Facebook and more names in the marriage documents. The wishy washy woman also wants to challenge the man and take his role, while her life is in shambles. Again, what would happen if both parties played their roles?
N closing, many sistas who desire to be married, I say men are failing you a lot of times, but I honestly believe it begins with a good woman, supporting and encouraging her man- Not challenging him on her leadership skills. I don't think you would challenge your boss at work, so why do it with your husband? A man loves woman who is assertive (able to get things done) and not aggressive (taking over the man's role). In the world we live in now, we can get our burger done the way we like it, so why not our love live. Point: if you don't do what you man needs done 1) Then he don't need you 2) He WILL replace you 3). Not following your man's lead is disrespectful to the creator of marriage, because he is the one that said you are to listen to your man (1 Cor. 11:3), but some strong know it all women will have a loop hole for that too-lol!
........................................................................I am Ward......................................
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