I didn't mean to listen....but what the Hey!!!!

O.k. it was lunch time and I wanted to get out of that freezing office that eye work at. I jumped in the mini van and rode out to Fazoli's until they told me the price of lasagna and 2 bread sticks was $7.09!!!!! I was like o.k. give me two orders and pulled off to McDonald's. Got over there and the freaking line was wrapped around twice, so eye thought about walking in right quick-FAIL!!! It was a big nasty water puddle that I would have to cross (I was not about to mess up my Suede Stacy's Ooohhh Kayyyyy)plus the inside was full 2. It must have been bring an old person and get free frech fry day.....again! I then looked over at Taco Bell and saw almost nobody there. Hummmm- wonder why? Any-who, eye did what I had to and made my way over and ordered. Yeah it was nasty but at least I found out Y the line was non-existent-lol! They had the girl with the extra thick glasses cooking and jacking up orders!
Well what I do now, I still had 42 minutes left on break? I know ""THE DOLLAR TREE" everything is a Dollar! I went in an immediately started getting bubble gum, mouth wash and candy and all was going well until I over head this fat Albert looking brotha on his celly arguing with his ummm,err,well- significant other (U never know now a dayz. The part that got me was I know the routine of his line of lies and he was good at it too. I mean I wanted to go over and help him, but he obviousouly been in the game before and knew how to win it or spin it-ya feelz me?
He was talking about how it was unacceptable to call him a day later & apologize when all they had 2 do was unlock the door to see what the strange noises were that were coming from the room! That was genius to me! He stuck with his line and even said that his mate was fooled cuz he (liar Man) knew they was listening. He said the women shoes were his momz and he was getting the tap glued on today and thats why their gone now. He sounded so convincing that I think he belived his own lie. Rule number one in the creep game is "Don't believe your own life" or is that Dont get High but lie to get by? Hummmm
The dude must have convinced the person on the other end of the call that he was right because he said "its too late now for I am sorry, I need time to chill". I was like dang. Before I knew it I had eased up beside the brotha and was playing it off looking at the feminine products just to take good notes of the game he was running. I don't think he noticed me there until we moved to the next isle togeather???? I guess at the end of the day, we either got play the game or get play huh? I didn't mean to listen ....but what the Hey!!!!

I AM WWWAAARRRDDD....

You lying 2 yo self if you thank you ain't getting lied 2....

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.....
That's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
but that's alright....because I love the way you ""LIE""

Awww shoot, yall hold on cuz eye feelz like I may get deep on this 1-lol!

Yeah those words open that M&M song and i really got what they was saying when I was driving home the other day. Got yo boi to thanking why do people lie and what reasons do we justify them with.

As a student of the Bible,I truly agree that lying is wrong, but it is a tough pill to swallow sometimes because it almost has 2 occur in order for the world to spin correctly. Seriously, if we told the absolute truth to every person we met over the last week, I wonder where would we be at now? In the hospital? In Jail?. If we had spoken the exact words that went thru our minds, how would people have responded? I am sure that we would have no friends, or at least unemployed if you aint already sucka!
Here is an example of what I mean.

"Hi Monique. You look awful. Why don't you wear a bra to support those saggy breasts?"

"Hi Ben. Why don't you see a dermatologist about all those ugly pimple on your face? Your a lousy dresser. And why don't you trim your nose hair?"

"Hi Tina. That's a beautiful new Acura your brought! I am sure your 3 hyper kids will wreck it and keep it extra dirty in no time at all! And as a parent , you're absolutely clueless!"

See that is telling the truth above. A lie would be , Hi Monique, you look stunnnig in that top? Or "Tina you are a great Mom and I would love to watch your kids anytime you need a break", See what I mean Vern?

I feel that we lie for 2 reasons. 1). To make a gain or avoid a pain. Good thing most people feel a sense of guilt or remorse when they lie. Most find it hard to hide the lie and an experienced person will learn to recognize when they are being lied to and even decode the lies.
I got 4 types of lies that I won't break down, but just to make it aware to the public.
A). The white lie- What you use at the work place-lol!!!
B). The Beneficial Lie- Used to try help others, but still a lie
C). The Malicious Lie- Hurting people on purpose
D). The Deceptive Lie- Trying to harm someone else to help your own cause
(((The truth will set you free, but 1st it will piss you off* Mal Pancoast)))

Advice for the brothers....
Don't waste your time telling a lie to a woman face to face. Call her on the phone or better yet send a text or email. Most women have the ability to uncover lies, and remember them for future arguments! You know I am telling the truth Maaaaannnn!

Advice for the sisters....
Quit trying to be inch high private eye and just admit you crazy and probably did something to make the man lie in the first place....

I am Ward......

should U get married when You got major issues or small doubts????

I was inspired to rethink my views on this topic because a friend of mine just got engaged and wasn't ready to jump the broom no time soon???? I mean its Kool and The Gang how ever she wants to play the situation, but If I could have told her my advice, suggestions and steps to take, it would have went a little something like disss........

Nagging doubts about marriage are normal, even when your in love! Heck, hearing about somebody getting a divorce is as common as hearing about traffic jams on I465! The realness of the thang is simple: love won't pay the bills or cover finical issues that may arise. $$ needs to be discussed and planned out before the marriage. The Bible is quoted at Luke 14:28-"Who of you that wants to build a tower does not first sit down and calculate he expense". Once you in marriage and find that number 1 reason couples argue (money sucka) then don't look at me with the deer in head lights look! Talk to your mate about how the money will be budgeted, how much can each spend on purchases w/o consulting the other, or do yall want separate account like room mates do. People with separate accounts show they don't trust the other, but what will happen when one is short on his half of the rent. Will he be the only one getting evicted? I think not!!!I suggest working as a team NOW!!!!!

2nd issue I think that has mucho weight on a relationship..... Communication!!!! No two people are gonna agree on everything, but it is important to know how you are gonna solve issues. A strong union is made up of two people who can openly acknowledge a difference and the work to settle that matter maturely and as friends. I don't believe in going 2 bed angry or dragging an issue out for days of arguing in silence (not talking). If your solution to blow ups is to run off and slam the door and pretend the mate doesn't exist (well your being childish to start) I suggest writing down how you want to solve blow ups while your calm and try 2 put into action when the time is right!If you learn 2 respond better to conflict now, you will gain a skill that is crucial to a happy marriage, suckers!

Also I think many men get married and think they will get sex on demand like some Cable option. They forget to treat their women like the Queens they are most of the time and who are worthy of double honor not only because they are your mate but more so, because that is the woman you chose to be with 4 life hopefully. Any short comings she has---you do to now and vice versa. Women have to keep in mind that our creator created men to populate the Earth and therefore had his sexual urges more prominent. A woman will do good to make sure her boo is taken care of because there are plenty of women out here looking for a good man, besides its a major benefit of being married. An occasional good meal wont hurt the situation either-lol( see previous blog)

I could go on about this topic, but as far as my newly engaged hommie. I think you know things that are present in your relationship that you are secretly hoping will dissapate, but deep down inside you know it won't. Can you deal with that out come? In sucessessful marriages, husbands and wives view each other as friends, communicate well, know how to resolve conflicts, and view their rlationshop as a lifelong union. And last time I checked, lifelong is a L-O-N-G T-I-M-E !
I am pro-marriage and learned that its something that you really have to want to do or be in. Its not always easy but you don't want some 1 with major issues like drug abuse, violence or the wandering eye! I have realized that when you have real doubts with solid evidence* don't be so quick to walk away......Run......
I am Ward.....

wardy Reasons why women stay single...........

Relationships are like hourglass sand timers. If you don’t switch things up, the sand will run out and it’ll be over. I mean when you think about it, why are so many beautiful black women single (especially when marriage is what they desire?) I have complied a few things that can help change that situation!

Cook - The new trend with women these days seems to be that a lot of them either can’t cook or they don’t cook for their man. The saying “The way to a man’s heart is through is stomach” is one of the few sayings that is actually true. Cooking is such a basic survival skill I’m baffled by ANYONE who says they can’t cook. It’s not rocket science here people. If you can put together a banging booty meal at least 2 times a month, I’m telling you…your man isn’t leaving you.

Cater to him – When you had a rough day we’re expected to rub your feet, get you dinner and generally sit around and listen through your gripe fest. Is it too much to ask that when we come home from a hard day and have a headache that you come over and take care of us? I’m not saying this has to be a one-to-one thing, but every once in a while it makes a man feel good to be able to come relax and not have to worry about anything because his girl is going to take care of him. Think about it. Women always have a laundry list of things their man should be doing for them…but how many of them can truly list things they do to take care of their man (That don’t involve sex).

Learn about his hobby and engage in it with him – If your man loves football, learn about football. That doesn’t mean asking him to teach you about it or asking 50 million questions in the middle of the game. Go to the library or Google or your father/uncles/brothers and learn from them. You don’t have to love it or even like it but you have to pretend. Heck, we do it all the time with you. We don’t like shopping with you, dealing with your emotional outbursts or half the stuff we do with you…but we pretend-lol. A little reciprocity would be nice. Learning from someone else other than him shows that you care. We have to show we care about things you do all the time so it only makes sense that you return the favor. Trust me, you show some form of interest in what he is doing and it’ll be easier to get him to take a break from it.

Hit the gym - It might seem trivial but the truth is your looks matter. As a matter of fact, any man that says he doesn’t care about his woman’s looks needs to have his sexuality checked. Men want the trophy wife/girlfriend. If your man is going to the gym and working out and you’re not, just go ahead and start preparing yourself for the break up. Look, your psuedo tofu-only diet might make you drop some weight but its not getting you in shape. When your man goes to the gym, he sees women that are either working out with their man or just working out for themselves. Immediately he thinks “why doesn’t my girl do that?” All it takes is one friendly conversation with a single lady who is working out at the gym for your man to start thinking “Dang, why am I not sleeping with this chick?” Beside that it also shows that you actually care about your own health. A woman that is working out now is more likely to keep that up after she’s pumped out some kids. That’s a huge plus to a man.

There’s a recurring theme with the things I mentioned. If you don’t cook or cater to your man or hit the gym, some other woman will. Men attract the most women when they are in a relationship. Other women are gunning for your man and if you aren’t bringing anything to the table you will lose him. It’s a myth that men are afraid of commitment. Most men don’t mind commitment when it comes to a woman that handles her business. Men are just overly cautious about commitment because the whole purpose of being in a relationship with a woman is to eventually get married. So if a woman isn’t really bringing much to the table now, why the freak would he want to commit long term to that? We recognize and appreciate women who hold it down. All men have that one friend that is deeply committed to his great girlfriend/wife. We clown him excessively for being whipped but we would NEVER try to get him to break up with her because we all know she’s good for him. When we come over to watch the game, she’s there wearing a jersey, cooking food and handing out beers. Or she can kick his but in Wii and in essence makes all her man’s friends jealous that he has such a great woman while their girl is bringing nothing. Why does she do that? Because she knows if she doesn’t do it, some other woman will be.

Now I’m sure some woman will hit back with “Oh there’s things yall need to do too” and that’s true. However, there’s two things with that. First off, some women have a knack for dealing with men they know they shouldn’t. If you’re going for the “thug type” then don’t trip when it doesn’t work out. You know when a man isn’t a good match for you, but you convince yourself that you can change him. Let me be very clear with this: You Can’t!!! Stop wasting your time and trying. Secondly, while good men out there do need to stay up on their game, the numbers work way better in our favor. There are more women than men so if a man messes up with a good woman, he still has a good chance of finding another good woman. I’m not condoning a man’s errors, I’m just acknowledging that the field is much smaller for women. Due to this women have to make themselves irreplaceable. Most women have dated good guys but it doesn’t work out because they don’t put in work into it (Or they dated someone they knew they shouldn’t have…which is another topic). You can’t have a list of criteria of what a man should do and then expect the only thing you have to do is give up the vajayjay. You’ve been trying that way for a minute and it hasn’t work. Don’t you think its about time to switch it up?

I am Ward.....

Eye opening dayz

I am amazed how sometimes we take the people who are the closest too us 4 granted. Sometimes saying I am sorry is not a solution, its only a start. When someone tries to extend an olive branch and you slap that hand. Then it must be.... as it must be!
My friend, I wish you the best because when its too late, you can find out that "eye told you so is much like the times you said I am sorry"....

I am Ward

HELP......A brutha neeedz a spoon!

O.k. so I am sitting at my cube at work when the urge to get some hot tea up in my system came over me like a fat kid lost in Willie Wonka's basement! Let me SPLAIN why ""Lucy"". I don't know who controls the temperature at da job but they keep that sucka working overtime on FREEEE-OOOHHH. I think it was so cold yesterday that it actually snowed in the office YET, it was 98 degrees on the outside. Go figure, anywho- I happen to be that proactive type of brutha who keeps tea bags and other goodies in my desk in case we get trapped in or worse--- (Mandatory Overtime).
Well Wardy walked in the break room and got a cup and filled it up with hot water and dropped in my tea bag and waited with great anticipation as the sugar slowly floated to the bottom of the cup. At that exquisite moment I realized that I need a spoon to stir my tea up. I looked frantically all around the room for the box of white plastic spoons. But to my surprise there was none there. I was krushed. But wait, out the corner of my (((supervisor's eye))) I saw a silver (rather dirty looking) spoon sitting all alone on a used napkin!!!! Should Wardy use it? Would Wardy use it???
The sad thing about it is, that I was seriously thinking about using this spoon. But my coolness wouldn't let me go out like that. So I thought about using my stapler to stir the tea, but I need to get my assignments out and needed that stapler dry. I then thought about using a pencil, but saw to many episodes of Oz and passed on that. I know you thinking I could have used my fanger but.......Look man.....I said that tea was hot!!!!! Remember I am still black suckers.
O.k. this is what I did..........I sat there and drank the tea that tasted suspiciously like water with a hint of strangeness. I saw the sugar but couldn't taste it. I learned a lesson today. I must remember to steal spoons when I go out to lunch at restaurants!!

I am Ward....

In case I never tell you sucka

The way I feel,
when I'm with you,
I forget my troubles,
like there's just us two.

You make my heart,
beat fast and strong,
and you make me feel,
that I truly belong.

You fill the gaps,
inside my heart,
like I've finally found,
my missing part.

I sink in your eyes,
I'm warmed by your smile,
and the world is perfect,
just for a while.

You make life better,
than it used to be.
You are the extra sugar,
in my cup of tea.

Whenever you need me,
I'll always be there.
I'll be there to talk to,
I'll be there to care.

Because for you,
I would do anything.

I am Ward.....

? and Answer session about Kissing with Dr. Ward.......

A client asked me this question below.....
When we were starting out in our relationship, like in the first 8 months or so, we've been kissing and smooching a lot. . But now that we're two years steady already. I always have to ask for it. He doesn't like kissing me. I love kissing a lot (Not to lead to sexual intercourse) but JUST kissing. I feel passionate with kissing and I think that's the best expression of love for me. But, my boyfriend doesn't like kissing long. He only does smack. I brought this up to him and he said, it doesn't mean he stopped loving me. He said that, it's just that he doesn't like kissing. Should I believe him? I'm getting paranoid he's kissing other girl or cheating on me. FYI, I'm hygienic and of course I always make sure I smell good all the time. Is it really normal for guys to dislike kissing?

((((I am Ward's Response:))))
At first I thought this is non-sense but then again this is a question from a woman, so here are some of my thoughts!
*The fact that he no longer kisses you that much is no indication that he is cheating or that he is no longer attracted 2 u. Some men don't like public displays of affection. Personally, I love kissing but not really in public because I like to share that kind of thing in private. It is a good expression of love but because he does not do it that much is not an indication that he does not love or feel attracted to you. Bear in mind that often, once the honeymoon phase is burned out, the intimacy level cools down slightly. You can keep it alive and introduce variety in the intimacy side of your relationship. Remember also as I am sure you know that intimacy in physical terms is only one part of a relationship. Good communication is important too. That goes for him too in that compromises need to be made to fulfill each persons wants and needs. Let's face it, kissing is an important part of any relationship, but I also think you need to have balance with that as well. I suggest you tell your man how much you love kissing him and that if he ever feels the urge, then your lips belong to him and only him. I am sure he will start to kiss you a lot more. Beware however that you may need to double up on some Scope suckers....
I am Ward......