The Kurse of da Mother-n-Law

O.k. yall know I am in skool to be a professional counselor and its going pretty good if I must say so my dang self. With that being said, I started thinking about mother-n-laws around the world and the bad rep that so many have not unlike that of a used car salesman-lol. Matter of fact check out some of my jokes on the topic before I break this down from a counselors perspective.....
1) Adam and Eve were the happiest couple of ever because neither of them had a mother-n-law!
2) What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws????????? Answer: Out laws were wanted-lol!
3) What's the difference between a pit-bull and a mother-n-law???? Answer: Eventually the pit-bull lets go!!!!

O.k. enough of that....When it comes to the new daughter its almost like the mom sees her as the other woman her son is cheating with. No matter what the new wife does, many times it won't be like how Mom put it down! Many momz ruin their sons 4 the wives in their lives. The momz cook, clean wash and iron for the son. They believe they're showing their sons love with these acts, but they are actually causing problems for their sons in later life when they develop relationship with women. The sons, in the end, find it hard to do things theirs mothers did for them. But imagine how this must affect the new wife who feels she has to retrain her new dude rather than complain he is a mama's boy.

I realzied that some momz are in a tough spot. Peep this, typical mom and daughters discuss everything about anything and have a bond. But when the new wifeee comes along, she isn't your real daughter and has no reason to be all confidential with the mom-n-law. This can cause jealousy because you getting her son and she is losing a son not necessarily gaining a daughter! It seems that when dating the future wife will work hard to win over momz until she get that hardware on her fanger, then its more permanent, so the two become juvenile and almost fight over the man. Isn't that crazy-lol!

Like Wardy always says,4 every solution, what is needed is the willingness to solve it. The son and daughter-in-law must tackle the situation open and maturely. Just the other day, my sister-n-law (I am not gonna say Meka's name)said that the mother-n-law is her HUSBAND'S MOTHER!!!! Its funny but I knew what she meant. True, not all momz-n-law are loving but you gotta know when 2 hold em and when to fold em. I think there is a mean mother-n-law class you can take on line somewhere-lol!

Anywho, I just felt like touching on this topic briefly because it one of my class Discussion Questions so I can't say how I really break this topic down, but hey it is what it is....
I am Ward.......

Fatherhood- wardz perspective suckers....

Fatherhood has to be one of the most challenging and unpreparable jobs that a man can ever undertake in his life. It requires learning patience and the ability to put some else’s needs before his. Since the man is head of the house, he in essence molds the family in the direction that it will flow. Unfortunately, it seems that some of us have forgotten what this important role means to families and the communities in which they reside. Sometimes it more about material possessions rather than quality relationships that ganders more attention. Many times this is the beginning of the break down.

Man is an imitative creature from the time he is born, until death. He learns from watching others more than any other learning method period. He learns to walk and talk not by some book or instructions, but those in the immediate surroundings. Remember that old Gatorade commercial that said “I want to be like Mike”? I can’t tell you how many little hoppers wanted to do what he with his wagging tongue and spectacular dunks! It’s not a bad thing to want to be like someone else, especially if they are doing positive activities. So I believe that the right examples should be imitated, but who are they and why are they so few of them?

A role model is termed -someone who sets a positive example for others to follow. I would definitely say being a Father is being a role model to children, if the Father is handling his business by doing what is admirable. Both sexes need the love and example of a good Father in their lives for different reasons, but the boys especially need to know how to be a man, from watching a man. One day the little man will presumably become a father and family head! Men must realize that there is a small window of opportunity to shape the young man, but when it’s gone, it will be gone!

There is no blue print for being a perfect parent, but there are something’s that all men can do with slight variations that can help keep us on track. We can be there. The mere presence of the man in the household is paramount to growth and should not be taken for granted. It is something about a man that kids react differently to and understand better from a man than a woman. Not saying it better or worse, just in a unique way. Kids also need the balance of both parents to keep their issues in perspective. If a kids falls and scrapes his knee and runs in the house crying, his mom may cuddle him and bandage the knee up. Dad is may look at the knee and smile and say “Boy get back out there and finishing playing”. Somehow they both work but in different ways.

Another Father role is being a parent and not a friend. By this, I simply mean drawing the line. The Father will do better by now allowing his kid to be angry and blowing a fuse whenever they don’t get their way in life. Teaching kids that sometimes “NO” is alright and life will go on is a great lesson. This is a challenge to fatherhood but it pays off in the end. A friend will not disciple you in love, but your Father sure will. Again, the key phrase is discipline in love! The purpose of discipline is to help the kids to realize a false step has been taken and correction is needed immediately and the reminder will help in future decisions that are to be made.

The relationship between the Father and kids are extremely important. It has been proven that little girls will go out and look for love in inappropriate places if they don’t get it at home. Boys may grow up thinking it’s cool to disrespect mama and mistreat women because of what they saw someone else do. So if a man chooses to inculcate positive values in his kids, he has made a worthwhile investment that will pay off handsomely in his return on investments -if you will. Some great things to teach your kids include, worshiping who Jesus worshiped, saying please and thank you, getting good grades, learning a skill, becoming a good readers, learning to be proactive, understanding the Bible and many more things.

Fatherhood is bumpy roads full of uncharted territories’, but the good will out weight the challenges. A young person will always be much better off when a male is present. Being a father is one of the most important roles in life and the Bible encourages us at Proverbs 22 verse 6;
“Train up a boy according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it (NWT).
I am Ward

Taking advice from too many people

I wasn't in the mood for cutting my own hair today so went to the Barber college (they only charge $5!!) Met this young brother who was trying harder than the others to give good customer service. He started out talking about the weather and stuff until I told him I am taking some counseling classes and it somehow turned into a counseling session from there ( which I didn't get paid for I might add-lol)
Turns out the brother met a girl and fell in "LIKE" and got her pregnant in less than 60 days. He said he always wanted to marry his child's mother. Apparently he moved in with ole girl and she is very jealous and been thru quite a bit in her life. She decided to end two other pregnancies in the past but really wants this one to work-- but she don't trust the young barber.
He says his family is saying they don't know each other well enough to get married, he says she wants him to be in love with her and he is not. I asked him what his definition of a relationship is and he said two people together exclusively. I asked him was the dog out of him. He said he is ready to settle down but he something just aint right with them.
Well we talked about an hour and I basically encouraged him to express him self to me before I gave him a game plan. I wont say what I asked him to do, but he sounded excited to do it. I really think he is just getting to much advice from too many people. Sometimes you just gotta jump in the cold water to see how cold it really is. If not you keep limping along wondering what ifz. That can last for ever with no results.
I personally don't see nothing wrong with getting married quickly, but if you are not in love or he/she is not what you want and need, then take your time or walk away now. Some people get married for money, love, kids or just because they feel its time. But unless you understand the requirements and time requirements of marriage you straight gonna have issues bigger than other folk.
Wardy feels it important to know what you man wants and needs and the same to him about her. Hey Money only pays the rent, women need a man's man now a days. Wouldn't it be great if the laws made it very hard to get married and super easy to get divorced. I am sure the divorce rate would go down due to all the hard work to get married and then give up over a fight. Wouldn't have Kapinn.
I am Ward......

Shortee want a do right dude, whilst she be a do it her way @ all cost type of chick! (FAIL)

Let me start by saying this first. ANY AND ALL RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRE WORK!!!!! If you don't take the time to notice what you have in front of you, then you may find your self by your self. I say that because after talking to some other pre-counselors in my discussion group, it became clear that the detriment of most relationships result because either one or both parties are not following the creators outline.
If its one thing I know I didn't like for the woman I am involved with is.....having a group of friends! its like the President's cabinet. We know that the group will always side with the friend and rarely get to hear the Male's perspective. Its cool to have some 1 to bounce things off of every now and then, but Wardy feels you need to talk to your dude or woman, because ultimately you are the only 2 who can problem solve the issue. When you have the group dynamics, everything you(-the dude-) do will be discussed, dissected, regurgitated and then thrown back up in your face! I guess its like having a mystery sore on your person. You would talk to your physican not your crew. Like wise, if you have a problem with your mate, you should talk to them. DuH..... When you think about it, arguing or tripping like that is like Crack. You know its destroying your relationship, but you can't stop doing it.
With that being said, she either wants a thug- woman beater or be in control of the relationship. See with a thug, you got constant excitement. He won't put up with your foolishness and quick to let you know he wears the Timber lands in your relationship. Some women need a dude who is just rough! It could be motorcycle dude, the dread lock brother or the tough dude who fights everybody in the club on Friday nites.
What about the woman beater. It always amazes me how women stay with beaters but will leave the other brother for a little indiscretion. I understand its your choice, but c'mon son! If you let a dude whoop your butt and you ""stay"".....never mind, its what you gotta do.
I love the controlling women to! They are by far my favorite!! They don't want to do things the males way because they feel that both of them are the heads/or in charge of the relationship. Ya know, similar to having two steering wheels in the car. Most of these women are single, will end up single or so stubborn that they can't even see it how jacked up their thinking is. Just real talk for ya.
Notice I said from the jump that work is required for relationships to be successful. I honestly feel that the solution starts with the woman. She was made to be man's compliment-- not his head. When the roles get twisted*/** the love gets lifted......up up and away. Seems likes men tend to get attracted to pretty women time and time again and over look the ugliness beneath it all. Humm, I guess that's why women wear so much make up and weave (to get past the six month front-lol). They can't let the dude see the real her that is 4 sure to soon appear. Gotta pop that tax deduction out first-lol! One woman told me "that the smartest man can not out smart the dumbest woman because she always trying to pimp you." I doubt it-lol!
My solution is simply this. Proverbs 3:5 and Matthew 6:33 and it will be all good.
I am WaRd.....

Why do people drink?

I was talking to the nephews the other day as we ate dinner at Golden Corral. We somehow got on the topic of drinking. We talked about the variety of drinks out there and the sad effects it has on people. Now don't get it twisted, I am not saying all drinking is bad, its just that I often hear about people getting drunk all the time. Of course I have never had a drink in my life and don't plan on it now, but I respect others right to drink! I grew up watching many of my family members abusing alcohol- yuck to the highest degree. I guess I owe them for showing me a good example of a being a bad example!
I just can't seem to rap my mind around something that is sooo go to you that you allow it to take over your mind and make you crazy or even kill others???? Heck once my uncle struck a match and set some alcohol on fire. Imagine what that stuff can do to your stomach lining.
Perhaps its like Grape Crush, I mean I love that stuff but I can only drink 1 every 12 hours or so.You see this picture of me? I accidentally put to much sugar in my tea and look how my hair grew. I guess some folk was meant to handle liquor and others were meant to be side line observers! Oh well, it is what it is.

I am Ward....

Eye know eye said this, but I really meant that???

Men of the world may never find out what actually goes on in the mind of the ever evolving female. Today she likes me-tomorrow she yells and screams at me just because the sky is blue. Take this example and you decide if women are truly crazy or not!
A woman goes the weight scale to see how much she weighs that day. She finds out that she only weighs 156lbs. She originally was thinking that she was gonna weigh in at 162lbs, but since the number is lower, she says happily " I am not gonna eat because I lost more weight then I thought!" Now the flip side is when she goes to weigh her self and finds that she actually weighs more than hoped or desired, she sadly says "I may as well eat this whole carton of ice cream"???????? What the fudge is up with that?
Yeah, I have given up trying 2 understand women folk cuz it can fry the average guy mind to little bitty pieces. The ironic thing about this confusion is that other women thinks its cool for this to take place. Men are thinking let me get the freak away from her asap! Another thing is the saying of one thing while men are suppose to figure out the translation! She may say can you bring me a chicken salad to my job for lunch. You bring it and assume you can have some also. NOT-she gets mad because you should have known it was for her only. She wants to wager $$ with you over something you know is a lie, you take the bet and she says that its unfair because you took the wager knowing the outcome and that they didn't really mean to bet when she said "How much you want to bet"? Now its the man's fault once again-lol!
Perhaps men are suppose to let the woman win at games, arguments and bets to keep the peace. In exchange, she gets to look pretty and be emotional as needed and everything will be alright-RIGHT?
I know men are not perfect but God thought enough of us to the family head and final decision maker (not my words but the Bible's) so why do so many woman want it their way? Are men suckers, not Bible readers or just stupid. Women have thousands of books monthly to choose from about 100 ways for great sex, how to look younger longer, how to know if he loves you, will he cheat and so on. Men don't need all that. Our monthly readings include the basics. How to stay healthy (eat-sleep and exercise-stay stress free), What men want from women (Loving-respect-good meal-left the freak alone a few hours a day) and how to fix the car. That's all we basically need. But you know like I do, that opposites attract. The logical and the crazy, the light and the dark, the fat and the skinny, the black woman and the white man, the christian and the sinner. I guess its how it is.
I am Ward. ......

Men Who cant discipline their kids....

How is it that I happen to have 2 friends who are not allowed to spank their own kids. Doesn't the good book speak of sparring the rod and spoiling the crumb snatcher? One dude said his wife yells and cusses him out on the regular but turns around and lets her teen age son talk to her like she his kid. The Father gets mad at the son's treatment of mom, who in turns threatens to call the authorities if he touches the son. She doesn't believe in her son getting touched and especially by her husband.
My my my what a tangled web we weave when we don't put leather to that butt! I am learning in my counseling sessions that I can't force my views on other folk, but I wish my kids would ever talk side ways to me or their momz? The law says a parent can whoop they kids but but can't leave a mark on them. I am stupid, some parents go to far, but the key is to never discipline when angry. Calm down and think about the punishment and be consistent with punishments. In other words, don't beat them silly for stealing your money and then be cool with them fighting in school.

When I was a kid, I got beat when I was wrong but loved when I did good. Gots to have that balance. In the case of my dudes mentioned, both of them are not the head of the relationships. There are some women out there who want to be the man. But the good book says the man is the head of woman as God is the head of Jesus, but some modern money making sisters don't want to hear that- thus allowing the roles to be reversed. Its also the dude faults to because a leader has to know how to lead with love other wise when you look back you may notice no one is following you. A man has to make wise decisions and look out for his family's best interests. I would encourage the men to reevaluate their definitions of Father/Dad. Its a wonderful position to have well adjusted children but not many can say that. In my personal life, I try to look at things from all perspectives and make the best decision I can and stick to it. I am far from perfect but I am not afraid to discipline my kids when they are wrong. Its my right and expectation, just like I provide food, shelter and biblical training. I can't be that dude who does less.
I am Ward....

Work environments are made for drama

I often say its always 1 at every work place who has the job to keep some mess started and going. With that being said, today at work it was mess with Wardy day! I was being a fill in instructor 4 my co-worker when another nosey co-worker starts to wonder what is going on in my class room instead of minding her own business. 1st she wanted to know who was in my class assisting me? Now keep in mind, she didn't ask me nor my assistant who they were, but chose to ask another co-worker. I guess the answer wasn't sufficient enough to her because she then revisited the issue during an end of the day meeting. Looking back now, I probably should have checked her old butt then but I gave her a pass due to respect of her daughter who work with her and also my friend.
Well earlier that day, we took the students down to the auditorium for a financial counseling meeting. Seeing as though I didn't have any participation in this area, I took out my carrying bag and started doing my home work for my marriage couseling class and got busy. What I didn't think about was that I sat a Watchtower and Awake magazine beside my books. Next thing I know here comes the old biddy herself screaming "You can't do that.....you can't do that!" I was like- do what? She said give out religious information during school hours. I smiled and looked squinted eye at her and said I am doing homework and this is just out from my bag. She just sat over there and continued to watch me. I thought nothing of it until I got home later that night and got a text from Supervisor saying, "Ward no more religious information being forced on the students because its a violation of the law". Oh my gosh!!! I felt the heat rise off my back instantly. I couldn't dial my supervisor number back fast enough. I asked her 1st of all did she tell all the co-workers what she told me other wise its harassment. She said she was told it was only me. I Said so its hear say? I told her what happened and that I request a meeting with her and the old biddy and her supervisor. I also explained that I work in a pulbic school 9 months out the year and all summer and know the rules? She apologized but it was too late. She and Mrs. Kravitz R about to learn why they call me The Ward!
To be continued.....

Does every generation think the young folk are crazy?

O.k. everybody knows Wardy loves the kids, right? I mean I work ten thousand jobs and just got another one working with the youth just today! See previous blog about having fun on the job interview. Anywho, back to the issue....I started job readiness training for young people today at a local high school and all i can say is.....If children are the future, I am very afraid.
Seems like they have no fear of anything and don't really care about tomorrow. I know its only been two days but I think I am a good reader of people. We gave the students a $100 gift card to get a $30 bus pass good for summer and some other supplies. I over heard students talking about how they are gonna sale the cards for cash!!! Don't they know they can just get the money off like a visa....Neva u mind, eye forgot I am talking about the kids.
I next tried to enlighten them on the joys of job searching and employer expectations. I decided to test out my class and did some impromptu role playing about a an unhappy customer at McDonald's. The students were doing good until one of the role players said they wanted to hurt the other student because he was being a rude customer. I thought to myself this is why customer service is dead-lol!
I enjoy teaching the young folk but I do wonder "Does every generation think the young folk are crazy?" Remember when Rock N Roll came out and those white kids went bananas, and the sugar hill gang dropped Rappers Delight. Who could forget how NWA changed the game. The list keeps going, but what the freak are these young people doing now a daze? Seems like smoking weed and getting drunk in the in thing. Use to be time when young ones would fear and respect a cop, now they shoot to kill.
Who knows, I may get killed by one of my students one day, but I still gotta do my part because if I only reach one student, then that is one person to help another.
I wonder how the kids would act if the teachers walked in sagging, texting anybody with a phone and falling asleep in class. Huh, its funny how people are surprised when teachers go off on students...not saying that eye would every harm a precious angel, but I am saying....with parents getting younger and younger, the scene of this world is changing....They didn't have to make a movie called Bad teacher they could have just followed me for a day!
I am Ward