Just another day in Chicago

I was talking with the fellas today about what makes them happy in their relationships. I don't think I should actually say what they was said, but I can paraphrase it for those with sensitive ears! The common theme that ran through the conversation is love. Love of the relationship, love of self and Love enough to be a good forgiver.
Love of the relationship focused on doing what it takes to keep the situation new. If that mean getting back into shape or not getting fat, ya might want to do that. How many brothas look at celebrites and think man....In reality the guys want to love their own woman, but life has a way of switching your priorities around. After a hard day of work, cooking dinner and checking checking homework, exercise might not fit the schedule. I can dig, it but that don't mean your dude is suddenly blind. Just do it.
Love of self focused on being able to do something that makes ((you)) happy so you don't need to sweat us 24/7's. Get a hobby, join a book club or take a cooking class. Love your self enough to know that you are important to yourself!! Loving your self means you need some ((you)) time to prevent you from loosing your identity. Its nothing more sexy than a woman who wants but don't need me or at least that is what Neo said!! Not to mention the whole communication aspect of love. Your mate can know you for years but will never be mind reader, so tell us what you want, feeling or thinking. We are only men-lol!
Love and forgiveness is a no brain-er. When two imperfect people come together and form another imperfect union some problems are going to arise. If you are a good forgiver, when the sun sets you will work that $(*@ out and when you awake start the new day fresh. That doesn't mean you are over looking things, just that you love your mate enough to agree to disagree. Of course if this is a serious matter, then you gotta do what you gotta do. I just think for two people meet and like each other and start a relationship is not easy in the 2009. So just try suckers.
Of course I could get deeper, but hey, its just another day in Chicago.....right!
I am Ward....

Lady are you freakN serious?

So much has been going on with me this week that I can hardly keep up with my own self! I guess its been long daze and short nites, but I ain't complaining, I see myself making progress.
Today I needed to make a run to the Indiana Legal Clinic and took along Leora so she could handle some business too! Well if anyone knows Leora, then you know she likes to be the center of attention and got errr body in that small room hyped up...way up. She started talking about how the guy beat the 3 students down at a local high school. When she asked for my perspective, I simply said that I have only heard what the media has said on the story. Yall know what I mean. Having my limited information, I can only say that many parents are not parenting their kids. I remember back in the daze kids would never talk back or disrespect an adult. I just think that the students played a more pivotal role than I am hearing at this point. This lady who was ear hustling our conversation jumped in and said that the works in the correctional system and meets many people who are belligerent naturally. She told me that parents can be responsible for kids actions, especially if a kid is hard headed. She said parents are just too over worked today. I was like.....WHAT!!! Lady are you freakN serious? This lady was really irate and serious about this topic. She/You may not be responsible for the actions of your former bundle of joy, but you sure as heck are accountable for their actions. I mean think about this. If you own a Pit bull and you train him to be a good dawg, but he goes out and bites the mailman one day. I guess you, the owner, can say "I trained him not to bite people so it ain't my fault". I think not. I never knew of any kid who asked to be born, therefore the parent has a responsibility to the child until he is accountable for his actions according to the law. No one wants to think of their child as a demon seed, but you still gotta inculcate training in that child. Kids can no longer be raised by the village because the village is watched by CPS. Again, this is my opinion and I say that we as parents have to monitor what our kids do on computers, who their friends are and spend quality time with your kids and of course being a role model. That is the best advice, because they will hear what you say, but believe what ever you do! I find it ironic when parents say I don't know why little Jasper turned out that way, not realizing that maybe they had some participation in his development. Stop letting the t.v., teachers and baby sitters do your job and get some motivation...
Ward!

Foot steps in da Dark

What is it about past relationships that keeps us coming back to them? I have never tried any drug or drink in my life, but I have heard old love is comparable 2 trying to re-capture that all elusive "first" high. You may never get what you had the first time around but it doesn't stop you from still trying does it?
Got this hommie who is hearing those foot steps in dark and seriously thinking about trying to get that lost love. Unsure how it may turn out for them, but the track record doesn't look that good from my vantage point. It makes about much sense as returning to work at a job that you left before. Obviously you left in the first place because something wasn't right and you went to greener pastures. With that being said, the odds of you leaving in the future are great as well. In fact, divorced people have a higher chance of getting a divorced again because they shown they didn't honor the commitment that made in that endeavor 2!
I am in support of freedom of choice by all people, but according to the Bible listening to your heart is a treacherous than!!! You gotta use your brain and be logical when it comes to foot steps in the dark. Notice they don't call it "foot steps in the day light for a reason"...
Hommie #2 is tired of dating loosers. Guy after guy just doesn't seem to work out for some reason or another.One won't call, one wants booty only and the other won't let you come to his home... Hummm. Could it be something with in the female in this case that needs to be worked on??? I always say start with the person in the mirror and go from there. I know they say love is blind at times, but dang, some people need a seeing eye dog for assistance-lol! Once you know your self and what you want from a relationship, you would do well to ask what can you give the opposite sex, do you know what could be expected of you and can you deliver? Relationships are work and require we all learn the language of love our mate is speaking and master it. Perhaps this is a step in the future and two steps away from the past.
I am Ward....

Parenting too tight and cousin Reggie

I am sure that everyone has at least one or two fond memories of child hood. If I peer really closely in2 my past I may squeeze out one-lol! I remember my cousin Reggie. He was that cool dude in the neighbor hood (one street away from my family) who knew all the hip wordz and was popular with the ladies with his smooth swagg. I wouldn't say that I wanted to be like him when I grew up (he was 10 years older than I was) but I really admired him for who he was. Reggie had one small problem....his ((MAMA)).Does the name Respusha mean anything to you? Well let me tell you about cousin Reggie's Prom from back in the daze. Mom put that boy through some changes. I guess if you are not a male- there are things you won't know or understand. His Momz called herself hooking him up for his big day. She reached into her refrigerator right next to her check book and grabbed her bone chilling car keys (34 degrees to prevent freezing them) and went to Kmart and got Reggie that same out fit Jim Carey wore in Dumb and Dumber. She made sure the old (very old) Chevy Impala was extra dirty for him and as she sat there with her eyes closed- she told him to be home by 9p.m. Cousin Reggie drove off in tears all he way around the corner to my house. I will never 4 get that day he showed up looking like a crying clown. Then my own Mom, quickly re-dressed your boi in one of my Dad's new unworn suit combo's, threw him the keys to our brand new car and gave him a $100 and said "have a great prom". Yeah he cried again, but this time tears of joy! Sadly when Reggie left his momz house to attend Indiana University, he never returned home, he called sometimes, but no more visits.
Fast forward to now and meet my sista! She has 3 great sons with bright futures ahead of them all, not to mention I enjoy hanging with them and playing basketball or just philosophising about life. We can have real confidential talk and bridge the gap between the age differences and how we view the world that we have in common. A not so funny thing happened the other day. I had been asking my sister for literally months could my nephews hang out with their Uncle and family for pizza and hooping at the YMCA....she has a million excuses for why they can't kick it with MY family. But this particular reason this time was because and I quote " Why should they come over to your house when ain't nobody there they age".... I knew this was yet another tired excuse, but this one was more creative. I never knew you had to be a certain age to visit family?? I understand, after all, in the past I have taken my nephews to he movies, dinner and the arcade, I can see how I may be a negative influnce on them. I won't ask her anymore can they hang out. I just have to keep in mind cousin Reggie. Humm I am wardy

Diss-Stractions and issue avoidance

Recently Perez Hilton asked a beauty pageant contestant her views on homosexual marriage during the pageant. To his surprise, she said marriage was meant for a man and a woman from her perspective. Perez was stunned and visible upset! Ironically a great deal of gay men run the behind scenes of beauty pageants. It seems that it was expected that the contestant should have gave the politically correct response to appease the judges, but she had a choice to make: Either answer with her heart or try and please man.
Needless to say she lost the pageant. I had many thoughts on this topic, but I will condense it down cause I gotta get ready to watch Judge Mathis in 15 minutes-lol! First of all, Should one really ask someone's opinion if you are not prepared to accept or respect their view??? Secondly, when did it become common practice to ask a half dressed woman her views on such serious topics as gay marriage? I really feel this is just another one of Donald Trumps (his pageant-money maker)attempts to create distractions and more attention to his projects. The more people talk about this the further we get away from reality. Really, we should let them prance around looking sexy and do a talent and leave it at that! Enough said on this topic.
Another issue I have today is young people and suicide. I heard about several youths who were being bullied in schools who subsequently killed themselves. I am amazed at the pressures our young people face and the solutions they choose. I can not image taking my own life because of anything. Shoot, I have been dead broke and thirty cents from having a quarter in my pocket, still I put on my dress pants, shirt and tie and a big ole kool-aid smile and went on about my business. Not saying I am better than the next man, I just figured away to deal with it. It saddens my heart to know that someone is so upset that death is the only option. I realize that we have no bully protection laws, perhaps that should be a question to ask a beauty pageant contestant??? My point here is that we need to be aware of our children and their pressures because what worked for us obviously isn't working for them.
Distractions take our minds off the real issues of today- unemployment,education, racism and love of man cooling off.
I am Ward...

Wardy wins the lottery

Wardy gets home, screeches his hooptee into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of his lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the mega jackpot lottery!"

The wifeeey says, "Oh my goodness! No joke Wardy"?! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff, my shoes, that outfit you like?"

Wardy yells back, "It doesn't matter. Just get the hell out!"
((the names have been changed to protect the rich))

I'm rich By#@h... Ward!!!

Beauty is only skin deep........right???

I know that I am not 1 of the myriads of beautiful peoplez in the world, but throughout my life I have been able to hold my own dating wise. I had a few dyme pieces and even a nickel or or two-lol, but looking back- it was those learning experiences that I truly appreciate.
With that being said, I was looking at this couple walking down the street who looked....well lets just call them unique for all practical purposes. The thoughts that ran across my mind should not be discussed in this forum, but I can say that I was impressed how loving this couple seemed. She was rather large and he was rather.....the opposite. I began to think, (((so unattractive people have a stronger bond than the beautiful ones that Prince sang about?))) When you think about it, how many ugly people have you seen fighting in the middle of times square or in a club? I mean two UGLY people, not just him looking tore up from the floor up, but both.
I think in this particular situation you have more at stake. For instance, if you break up with them, who else is gonna want your unique self- its better to have something than nothing-or is it? What if the two unique people have a baby, who wants to raise an ugly child? (I am not Jammie Foxx so chill out). I think these couples are so elated to have a significant other that they would not dare mess this thing up. On the other hand, the pretty people are like, "I can replace him/her tomorrow". If I were in charge, I would make a law that ugly couples get an even bigger tax break, don't they freakN deserve? Next time I see an ugly person or couple ----I am gonna hug them and say Darn it ugly person-- Ward loves you!

Ward

The Gay Elephant in the room????

I thought about writing this blog for quite some time especially since a relative of mine called me in tears concerning another family member. I am sure everybody either knows or has a gay/down low family member. Then again, some of us pretend like we don't see the gay elephant in the room-lol! I recall an old co-worker asking me about my views on homosexuality and marriage for her class assignment discussion. I told her that I firmly believe that everyone has the choice to do what ever they please, but when it comes to both sexes getting married I believe that you are in error. Before I get you haters going, let me finish.
From my perspective, God is the one who instituted the marriage concept and the way he instructed was for a man and a woman period. So if two people want to be together "so be it", but when you try to change the game from Adam and Eve to Adam and Steve-you are, in my opinion, you are mocking your creator!
Really the gay thing goes deeper (no pun) than most people know. I have heard some views say that it starts at birth, others just have a change of heart after years of doubt, some claim to be prison gay= ya know straight when they get back on the outside. Like I said who really knows! Back when I worked at St.Vincent's I was encouraged to hire a gay while guy by my female staff because he would supposedly be neater than other men. What an interesting situation that turned out to be. He started wearing pink Timberland boots and female T-shirts to work that said very inappropriate things. Then he started having his lover/s stop the job to bring him dinner. Thats when it got to deep for me! The only positive I can say about him was, I am sure he did not want me and he sure as helicopter know I didn't want him!
I have always wondered why the down low brotha was incognegro if they choose to be gay??? The great Jerry Springer said ""Its ok to be anything you want to be in life, but if you are going to be friends with anybody they have the right to at least look in your closet to know who they are dealing with".
I was told tha some gayz equate their struggle with that of blacks of the 1960's! OMG, I don't recall my parents waking up looking in the mirror screaming "We are black- We got to go march". I personally see many differences here, but who am again....
Nobody is perfect in this world that I know of, and since we R all adults and able to make big boy and fat girl choices & deal with all the consequences, then by all means do you in the the light because we know what happens to thangs in he dark.
I be that Ward dude...again!

"Eye believe in myself,there 4 Eye am what eye believe myself to be"

We fall down or so the song goes. I think that is fitting because Forrest Gump tried to told you that life is like a box of chocolates! Real Talk, some of us are frustrated with our living arrangements, some of us are irritated with working conditions and some of us even feel trapped in a loveless relationship with our significant other or lack of having a desired relationship (pick your poison), but one thing we all have in common is that we all have to share this big blue marble we call "Earth" together.
The ironic thing about it is that we have to find our niche in life and make it happen.Ain't nobody to blame but us if we dont make a move. There have been many a times in my life when I would see the person supposedly come from obscurity to grab that money and get the girl, the house and the phat ride. In reality, that brotha or sister worked them @#$% off to become that over night sensation. I.E> Alicia Keys, Kanye West, Jennifer Hudson, Obama. I do understand that there are always exceptions to the rule, but I don't know anybody who ever won publisher clearing house's million dollar prize--Do you???
This is what I realized must done in order to get our "act right" on! Get organized daily, write out a freaking to do list of what you need to accomplish for the day or week and follow that sucka. It won't be easy but well worth the effort in the end. Next write them long term goals out and work them mini goals toward that point. It will start to make sense the closer we get to them. In addition to doing this we have to try to improve ourselves in some way daily. To the Christian, work on imitating the fruits of God's spirit daily, to the hustler read or listen to books of how other have made it and emulate what they did (P Diddy,Russel Simmons, Kevin Liles),to the single sister desiring to get married, hit the gym, learn how to cook (really well) read Proverbs chapter 31 and then Men are Mars and Women are from Venus ( you may just get you a NBA baller but be careful what you wish for!) and for the person straddling the fence of a professional career, write out some careers that interest you and call a counsel at a local university or get to one of them free help centers.
By all means, believe in your self and give 100% daily and then if you fail you can still hold your head up high and say I did my best. As for me, I believe in myself, therefore I am what I believe. Say it again suckers. Its our time-ya feelz me??
Ward yall...

GettN paid.....but why?

Oprah Winfrey - $260 Million
Tiger Woods - $100 Million
Jay-Z - $83 Million
50 Cent - $33 Million
Kobe Bryant - $33 Million
Shaq - $32 Million
Michael Jordan - $31 Million
Will Smith - $31 Million
Beyonce - $27 Million
Lebron James - $27 Million
T.A. Ward - $2.83 Dollars

I ain't broke ...Ward-lol!!!

Behind every successful person lies a pack of haters!!

So I just got through watching that new X-MEN movie (yall can watch it in theaters next month)it started out really slow, but picked up nicely. I recommend that one to everybody!! I actually picked up quite a few boot...I mean movies and plan to watch one per day.
I had lunch today with an old co-worker and it was great. We talked about how the old job is going and what is new. It felt good to know that former staff thought I was one of the cool supervisors. I am sure everyone tries to treat everyone the way they want to be treated, but we don't always get that positive feed back. Somehow it always feels like behind every successful person lies a pack of haters!
No doubt women can really understand this better than us men folk. I saw two females talking at the mall on some Hi and Bye type conversations. As soon as they finished conversing, I over heard the other ripping the other apart??? Talking about her shoes and hair looking a hot mess. Go figure. Like I stated earlier, people are slow about giving positive feed back. In fact, it seems like the golden rule is now dokee bronze because I see people treating others that way that they have been treated. We got road rage on the highways, kids having sex with teachers and shootings out the watootsie.
I tried to write down on paper some positive thoughts about life and ended up writing a dang suicide note-lol! Something else ironic happened, was Micheal Jordan's reaction to being inducted into the Basketball hall of fame. That sucka feels like his 46 year old butt can still play ball with them young kids. I guess I am one his haters huh-cause he is rich, famous and a freaking legend!! Let it go Mike.....let it go and move on to new adventures.
Finally, looking forward the Memorial of JC Thursday night. Hope everyone can make it. Ya know who this iz....Ward

What Ward sometimes Wanders??

* If the bus driver who picks up the students is wearing a helment him self, should you be concerned?
* Why everybody down on Chris Brown, but yall forgot R.Kelly did far worse and he still on the street (and making darn good music too!)
* Why do women wear their girl friends clothes?
* Do people with no arms need deodorant?
* Is Ray J stupid for keeping Danger around or is it for ratings
* Why are old people always cold?
* What is the technical name for a "Bugger"?
* Why do we have a seat belt law, but no motorcycle helmet law?
* How come kids don't have to have booster seats or seat belts on school buses?
* Why police have that crazy buzz hair cut?
* Why do people get crazy about line jumpers?
* How come elevators don't have a number 13 button?
* Why do kids ask so many dang questions?
* What did I do with the $20????

I am Ward...I think!

What up with the new family???

Remember back in the daze when you would sit around the kitchen with your family watching that little 13 inch black and white television! The favorite shows with out a doubt had to be Fat Albert and Good Times! O.k. maybe that was just my childhood-lol! But what I especially liked about Good Times, other than Thelma being finer than frog hair on free chicken sandwiches, was the family vibe that came off each week. The Evans family did not have a lot of money, but they were rich on love and fun. I recall feeling like I was a part of that clan. It was real talk about real life situations, sorta like 2009 but with different ways of dealing with life.
The father, James, was a hard working, no-nonsense, hard nosed, loving father and husband who was scard of nothing. He was the kind of father that kids respected and feared because he loved them enough to whoop that tazz if needed and give a proud, belt tugging smile of approval to any one who would listen. The afro wearing mom was a pillar in the midst of brokeness. She was the glue who could make a meal from water and dirt and never let you know she was worried about tomorrow! They even ate meals together.....wow! How many families do that today?
The shows title said it all. "Good Times"!! Ain't we lucky we got em???
I try to treat my kids like that show in many regards because I like to have fun and laugh, but when I have to be serious, they understand that as well. The scriptures say, that a friend in need is a friend indeed! Now I understand what that means. I am sure you do 2.
My last blog talked about shacking up, do you think Thelma would have been allowed that option.
I am good times Ward....

I am only what you make me baby...

I am sure everybody knows Shaq, don't they? Well what about his cousin "Shak", you know when two people live together and are not married-lol! Surely, quite a few people make this move and sometimes it works out and most of the time, it fails miserably. When you really break it down for what it is, the individuals are trying to test the waters of marriage with out the commitment of trust! Think about it, when you try to immulate the steps of marriage, you do everything but take the marital vows, and I mean errr-thing from sleeping 2geather, paying bills, eating etc.
When two married people live together they learn things about the other that they did not know but have made a vow to stay as a team for better or worse. Now that shak-ing duo may stay together or they may bounce when one feels the urge to leave. They have no real commitment to stay, so leaving is always a viable option. The sad thing about this is the family members who are hurt by this act. Starting with your creator on down to parents, friends and relatives. Love don't cost a thing is what a popular song once said, yet again people use that crutch as a reason not get married. I gotta have a "huge" wedding and live beyond my means. I need to front like I am a superstar when in reality everybody knows you broke like the rest of us. Moving in with someone is a very big step so it is very important to know yourself first! Are you good with money, do know how much about the differences in men and women, paying bills on time, have good credit, lived on your own before, neat in appearance and home life, are you responsible, do you bounce checks and are you mature physically, mentally and spiritually. All I am trying to impress upon you is this.....If you are ready for move in situation, Man up and make the woman your wife instead of just another baby mama or girlfriend. If you love him or her today, then so be it for tomorrow. If something happens to you, who gets your stuff, who can be your mouth piece or make decisions for you when you cant talk due to an accident? You even need life insurance to protect your family in the event of an emergency, I don't think they cover room mates or gay lovers do they?? This is 2009 and play time is over. Ask yo self, what is preventing me form being with the person I love and then act on your answers!!! I am only what you make me baby, so make me proud and do what is right and sleep good at night knowing that now you are a man or woman who with stood the storm and are now the example and not another statistic!
I am willing to Kobe but never ShaQ....Ward...

Unhappily/ happy

I was recently informed that men are just as emotional as women are. It is important to know that this was a female who made this statement! I laugh at her because I am a firm believer that as a rule, most men tend to be logical and women tend to have their emotional side come more to the front. Neither one is really better than the other. Sometimes opposite attract right? Boy-girl, work-paycheck, hunger-food, you get my point.
Anyway, part two of that discussion lead to the amazement of why unhappy couples remain together? When you think about it, in this economy, who can afford to break up now. Keeping it 100, I feel that people stay together because for a variety of reasons. Kids, finance, familiarity, lazy, comfort, image and so on. I mean after awhile of being in a bad relationship, one just learns to adapt. You start to do things independent of each other, find new friends and eventually do what you gotta do! I am not saying that is right, but it does happy. I feel that it takes two people to make relationship work and one to make it fail.
With the changing roles of women in society, men have to be more flexible. When I was young, my mom cooked and cleaned, but now men do it all and its o.k. Then again, you gotta fill your time somehow-lol!
The long and short of it iz this: Kouples must have make time for TIME! Don't be strangers, talk about your day and you fears and goals with your mate. Be there best friend. Do fun things once a week and of course try to out love the other. Do what needs to be done because it needs to be done. The other alternative is being unhappily happy!!
I am jungle-less Ward...

Don't take it for granted

Today is a great day to tell someone that you care about them and what they mean to you. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. I know personally, I have been really enjoying life and realizing that I was caught up in the matrix of life! I am now somewhat unplugged and seeN things clearer. Look for the positive in the negative and never give up suckers... Catch me at the comdey club this weekend if you are lucky....
I am ward...