The beginning of a relationship is never boring. You’re either excited to see the person, or anxiety-ridden because they’ve taken too long to text back lol! You’re way too busy just trying to establish a relationship—trying get through the emotional roller coaster that
is a new relationship—that it never occurs to you that a complete “now what?!” moment will hit once the rubber hits the road. But once that moment hits, once you’re actually in a happy, stable relationship, it’s pretty common to start doing some stupid things that eventually do serious harm to your loving union. Its ironic, considering how many "happy" posts I see on Facebook and Instagram, that so many people are breaking up!!!!
Lovers in relationships usually don’t want to tell the other sucka, that what they just said 2 them was rude. You don’t want to tell em that it ticked you off that they stayed out 3 hours later than they said they would last night, and didn’t text/call you! You don’t want to acknowledge that there is even the tiniest thing wrong with this relationship that you finally got to be settled! So you hold it in. But honestly, you will feel closer to new mate if you just say right then and there “you’re being out of pocket right now.” Because you know that if you don’t say it, you’re just going to act distant, and become distant. This is what I call the ENTROPY of relationships!!! The beginning of the end, hurt feelings and a long road of misunderstandings sprinkled with a touch of irritation.
Granite, not all unions start out on the negative right? I don't often hear of a first encounter conversation of the man and woman having drink and she says "Yeah I stabbed my last dude in the head with a rusty fork for coming home late or the man saying "I have a slight temper and been known to slap women who talk to much when I am tired"! These little nuisances gradually slip in over time don't they?
In reality, no 1 is perfect (in fact far from it) and two imperfect people coming together will undoubtedly have some issues, and most people forget this soon after the infatuation phase dissipates. Take 4 example having a dog in comparison to a mate. We expect our dog to be a dog. We don't expect him to cook dinner, pick us up for lunch or brush their teeth for us. Just be a freaking dog. How come with our imperfect mates, we want them to never yell at us, never make us angry, never be insensitive and never look at another. If any of the aforementioned does occur we have a hall pass to straight act a fool on them with our reactions, unless its the dog doing something we don't like because, he s just a dog! SMH.
I admit many men don't always give the needed attention an affection our women want/need but could it be the logical side of men we don't understand the emotional side of women? If she is a jealous woman and he doesn't like drama, he will start to with draw some of his affection from you due to this reason. In his mind, that drama is not needed and is a major distraction. He is with you because he choose you, so until he says otherwise, then he is still with you-lol. Men don't want to be changed from who they are. Men are happy being who they are in sharp contrast of women's perceived desire to mold the guy into her perfect man! So when men get to the point of being tired of this process they/we find error with women. It may be verbally, emotionally or physically (unfortunately). Wardy asked one sista how she feels during challenging times with her dude?
.........I believe that life is not perfect, so therefore; my relationship is not going to always be perfect. We have more good times than bad, so that outweighs me wanting to pack up and leave. I can deal with almost anything to make others happy, with the exception of abusing my heart purposely. I haven’t always been the best person in life, however; I do believe that I am fair. I do believe that I give my heart entirely, in the past I have either held back, lied, or cheated. I wanted to try something different this time. So, if I end up being the fool in this situation, I can say I did give it my all….
I have learned that I don't have to always agree with everything anyone says to me, but it would behoove me to at the minimum level 2 try and understand why the person feels the way he/she does! If a woman says she doesn't like to be called "Baby" but her man says its his way of showing she is special to him, but he may not realize that she was molested for years by that one freaky uncle we all have and he always called her baby while raping her! They say communication is the life blood of any relationship, so imagine how it is for couples that don't continue learning about the other. Relationships will die if we don't feed it with healthy and regular communication, like a good friend you should be. Don't nag, probe or be bug a boo. Be geniunley interested and let the communication flow naturally (like when you first met).
Willie (man interviewed for this article) was asked why he had issues with his ex.
.......My ex was too independent. She didn't need Willie (me) for nothing! She has a good job, nice car and home that could be in any magazine. Her priorities centered around working 60-70 hours a week and living that life! We always ate out, because she did not know how to cook and wasn't interested in learning either. She has very strong opinions and views that I use to find attractive until we started disagreeing on everything from tv shows to views on vacation destinations. I wanted a partner not a live in football coach. Once we got into an argument about who was gonna drive to WalMart. We both ending up driving two separate cars to Wal-Mart. I knew the end was near that day. I eventually left her to all ow her to explore all the world has to offer a person of her abilities.
I must admit, a man doesn't want to be married to someone who doesn't respect him. The woman can be smart and confident, but the man has to know he contributes to her life and that she needs/wants him. If the man is the head of the house and the woman is his partner, how is that gonna work when the female is trying to play both positions???? Last time I checked it is only 1 steering wheel in every car for a good reason. Logically it doesn't make sense but some woman damage their relationships and end up alone wondering what happened?? Every woman should know how to cook at least 3 good meals for her dude. 1) When he is sick (hook up that chicken noodle soup) 2).When his family comes over (makes a great impression and he will love all the more) 3).Be able to whip up something for his office pot luck. This is just basic 101 ladies lol.
My point on Willie's perspective is: To have a good marriage with his type, the man has to feel needed and appreciated and it requires a little more on the woman's part. Not perfection, just knowing thyself. They most important thing women can wear is the confidence of pleasing her dude. Other women will be in awww and other men will look at you and only wish you were his!
Women are emotional creatures who need more personal attention than the male counter part and I admit many men don't know how to meet these needs, especially when we have to guess with all the mood changes women go thru ( I don't think yall know yall self). I was told that women want a man who won't cheat, keep his word, be a great provider, super lover, love his woman unconditional, look past her flaws and be a knight in shining armor 24.7ths. But what happens when the man fails in one of these areas. Does that mean he is the scum of the Earth? Could it mean that all men are dogs? What if he does cheat, does that mean he never loved you??? In short, men don't leave a T-Bone steak to go to Burger King just because he can get it is way. There is always a reaction to every action but we tend to judge others on their personal actions but tend to judge ourselves on our intentions. Doesn't make it right or wrong-Just a reality!
A major reason for the down fall of relationships is the couple no longer being new no more. Men don't see women as women see themselves. We remember you the way we met you, not as having gained a little weight or a new wrinkle or three. We just want you to be that same woman we met and realized we can't live with out. But women change hair styles with weave and dye so often that the even the perfect dog is confused when they return from the salon at times. Men are simple. We have the same hair cut for years, drive the same car and eat the same food and we love who we love.....period. So why all the relationship drama. 1 word......WOMEN.
Women think about things that haven't happen that could happen, worry about other women instead of handling business while you got the dude and look for reason why she is not loved. Look how good things turned out for Adam and Eve, Bonnie and Clyde and Sampson and Delilah and Amber and Wiz, IJS.
To sum this up, relationships require hard work from not 1 person but 2, committed people with a common goal of team work. It can't work if there is no communication, trust or lack of respect. You shouldn't meet a dude who works at Wendy's and think he will be President of the United States in a year or two. Men can't expect women to think logically all the time. Couples must simply be your lover's best friend and main hobby. Ask your self these questions
1. Does my partner enjoy talking to me?
2. Do we have arguments about the same thing over and over?
3. What does my partner enjoy most about me?
4. How do I show my partner I appreciate and love them daily?
5. What is something my mate would love to change about me?
I am WarD................
