We tend to judge others by their actions but we tend to judge ourselves based off our intentions???????

1 of the most difficult challenges in our crazy relationships is handling difference and disagreements. I find couples disagree  and suddenly their discussions can turn into arguments and then with out much warning into BATTLES!!! Next, we/they stop talking in a loving manner and automatically begin hurting each other: blaming, complaining, accusing, demanding, resenting and doubting.
When couples fight, we do it in a way that hurts not only their feelings but also the relationship. Just as communication is the most important element in a relationship, arguments can be the most destructive element, because the closer we are to someone, the easier it is to bruise or be bruised!
I am finding that some couples argue all the time and without realizing it, they are gradually killing their love for each other! On the other extreme, some couples suppress their honest feelings in order to avoid conflict and not arugue. But the flip syde to that is that couple ends up loosig touch with their loving feelings as well!!!!
Wardy suggest that it is best for couples to find balance between these 2 extremes. How you ask? Simply by remembering we are different in our we think (men v. women) not better or worse, just different.
See differences and disagreements don't hurt as much as the ways i which we communicate them. Arguments don't have to be hurtful, rather a meaningful convesaton about how we feeling about something good/bad without all the anger behind it. But I find that most couples start out arguing about 1 thing and it leads to another with in 5 mins, lol! So what starts out is a simple discusssion ends u being a hurt battle with one or both parties refusing to accept or understand the concept of the other persons point of view because of how they are being approached. Really arguing is a big waste of time, because deep down inside the couple knows the fight is going nowhere positive but we stay on the path, but why?
I think for men..........they don't like it when the woman gets upset about something small (in their mind) that he may have done or didnt do. Men feel criticized reject and unaccepted. What he needed was to feel accepted just the way he is. Instead men feel like his woman is trying to improve him to what she feels he should be!
Women..........don't like it when men minize the importance of their feelings or requests and end up feeling dismissed and unimportant. What she need was to feel validated and cherished instead of being judged and ignored (unloved when she needs it most).
Its ironic because men rarely say "I'm sorry" because it means they have dont something wrong and now apologizing for it. Women say "I'm sorry" to say "I care about you". Either way, when it is said, an argument can be avoided!
Once couples learn to pick their battles and learn to listen without interruption, clarifying before assuming and putting Jehovah first, the relationship can flurish. Its not as easy as 1,2,3 but its a great infrastructure!
 
I am wARd..........