You acting brand new.......................

I use to think that Jesus was actually born on December 25th that is until I accidentally looked for it in the Bible one day,lol. Guess what? It wasn't in there- even to this day, but that hasn't stop millions of suckers from saying other wise, does it? I use to think that Police were my friends in blue that always looked out for me and minez, but now I keep seeing everyone wearing T-shirts that scream..... "I can't breathe", go figure. I use to think that 1+1=2, that is until I had my first daughter (Kobe'), then I realized that 1+1=3 lol!
Any-who, have you ever wondered why whenever one of them hood rappers start getting some money from their constant dedication to the craft, that they move out in the hills of Cali? I mean, shouldn't they stay where they came from and help revolutionize the ghetto from wince they came? The other man wasn't that dude meeting you at the barbershop or swap meet to purchase your home made album was he? That pretty much makes Jay Z, 50 cent and Dr. Dre sell outs to the highest degree or could it mean that nothing changes unless something changes. I guess yall don't know what happen somebody get money in the hood and the rest of the streets are still hungry???
It has been said many times that people change their perspective once every seven years during their lives and if they don't change, I assure you that growth is severely lacking in those people. I never claimed to be a complete know it all, but I know I can reason and occasionally make a good decision or three!
 Let me explain why I was recently accused of  "Acting Brand New"! After suffering thru and unbelievable working situation, I found my self damaged, bruised and often 2nd guessing my self. I had allowed myself to get caught up in fighting a non-winnable fight in exchange for irritation, job dissatisfaction and very negative thoughts! One day, I decided I was gonna control what I could control and not worry about the rest. I started each new day by reading something encouraging and loving that got me feeling some kind of positive way. I brought friends doughnuts to co-workers and sent out occasional words of inspiration in emails when I found something good! I said I am gonna look at at least 10 people in the eye and smile or give them a compliment. What happened even surprised me!I stopped worrying about me and started try to help others anyway I could and I felt good about seeing others pay it forward.
The same people who held me down were no longer viewed as the enemy, rather staff who had similar things in common with me (working for same company, trying to do a good job, etc) who just didn't get to know me yet. Sure, people had/have negative images of me and my work family but I began to wonder less about that and ponder more about what was I doing personally to encourage them to have those views of me in the first dawg gone place. Intelligent business managers comprehend that employees stay because they 1) either love the job or 2)can't find nothing else. Its not rocket Science people. So, when the management team starts to rub staff the wrong way and the staff keeps on taking it: then the management team don't have a problem (they cool with putting that thumb screw on your neck) with the situation, because that is all on the person who is knocked on the ground looking up with at that syde eye talking bout "Give us Free".
Back to me being brand new.......I realized that if people don't know you, then its easier for them to type cast you and not get to know you. Apparently that makes one brand new, if thru research and communication you understand someone else's decision making choices. Doesn't mean you have to agree with it, but at the very least,you know why they did what they did. Ironically, the oppressor may see you differently also too. But what if too much damage has been done for you to ever get to this point? Perhaps a deep look inside your soul may reveal that all of the other players in the game have either moved up or moved on and yet the problem is still there?  Could the problem be you? Why should you get a fee pass on all of the pain and suffering that those before and after you have known since the beginning of time? Distress is all part of it sucka. Ain't nobody singled you out  "just because". I recall reading about the great gangsters of the past like Al Capone, Two Gun Crowley and Dutch Schultz, they all said they was good people, who never did nothing wrong, lol!!! Some may beg to differ, especially when you kill so many people.  Wardy says: "what if you could ban the feelings of being unfairly targeted that often accompanies misfortune, then you  remove an entire layer of emotional baggage that you really didn't need as much as you thought. The world is bigger than what ever we face on a silly job: because work is what we do for $$$, and not who we are as a people. I think that how information is disseminated strikes a nerve sometimes so hard, we may never get over it, but doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the very definition of INSANITY! So, if I am acting brand new because I refuse to act less than, because of a stereo type , then so be it. In closing, I often say Will Smith is one heck of actor, but keep in mind.....The man is acting......... and he is definitely winning. (u figure that one out on your own)
I am Ward.....

What Eye learned from the game of Basketball and Secular Employment

I have always been a good player of the game but as I got older, lets face it.....Ward got better! LOL, I actually use to step on court and feel inferior to my competition. I would hold back from taking the wide open jump shot and defer to the other sucka to win the game. It wasn't that I wanted to be the GOAT, but I knew that after shooting over 200 jumpers each day, that I was more than capable of taking the last shot. My confidence was at about 60% on a good day, but I still loved this game of basketball.
This sport kept me physically fit, showed me that I could work good being part of a team and of course*** how to win!!!!
This is how it all started, back in middle school I decided to try out for the squad and I was immediately cut lol! I laugh because the basketball coach came back to me 2 weeks later and said one of the guys he cut me 4 had decided he wanted to play baseball instead of hooping for him. Yeah, I was a sucka for being the 2nd choice, but heck I wanted to ball for my school! To no ones surprise, Wardy didn't get much playing time. Actually, I am quite happy looking back because not playing made me hungry to get better. I had to learn to become a good outsider spot shooter, I had to learn to make the no look pass and I had to learn where everybody was suppose to be on the court at all times. I had no grand disillusions of making it to the NBA but I knew playing division 1 was a very real possibility, if my road to basketball improvement was successful.
Time went by I accomplished me goal of getting better, especially once I realized the role of psychology involved in basketball. I figured out by asking my opponents key questions at the right time gave me a competitive advantage. For example, I would ask a guy shooting a free throw "Do you breathe in or out before releasing the ball oh never mind I guess it doesn't matter if you don't know". This little sentence would make the guy think about the question and loose focus of the shot. Another trick I often used was mention to the competition how good I was at defense after I blocked a shot, made a steal or doubled up on another player.
These skills turned out to work great in the employment area also. If you are on your job and are not stepping up to take the lead on projects, have a good ideal during round tables or being the person to get it done, then you are just like I was back in the day---Just being happy to be on the team. That is just not effective. I suggest that you take the time to learn not only your job, but those of your contemporaries too! At work you must earn a reputation of the person who comes in early and sometimes stays late and who definitely gets the job done. Psychology is involved in the work place because you must let everyone know that you are nice and friendly but when it comes down to it.....You are not one to be played with or taken lightly! I am not saying doing anything crazy, but make it known that in the game only the best players get the ring each year!!!!
Anywho, years went by and played a myriad of games and came out with a very high winning percentage. I learned to create my own shot, never force it, respect my competition and always gave 100% and was able to live with the results, knowing I did the best I could. I always held the best player on the other team (to learn from them win or loose) to show my team that if I can do it, they could too! I am confident to this very day because of love and basketball and I only see me getting better. Never been one to be cocky because through out my life I had to work/hustle for everything I ever had, which has kept me humble and appreciative. I encourage everyone go play basketball and do your job suckers!!!
I am ward.....

Death of a marriage or some call it Divorce....

Recently found out that Chris Rock is getting divorced from his wife of almost 20 years! That is a good run in worldly/Hollywood terms lol! Nevertheless, it sucks that people have to go down this painful road. I can't front, even I have visited this town too! I checked out Chris's new movie and had the feeling that he was done with his wife based off his chemistry with his co-star Rosario Dawson. I have often wondered why man and woman were not created with the innate desire to just stay with one person for life. Must be that free will thing coupled with integrity?
 I did a quick google of why some divorce to see if its a pattern? This is what Wardy found!

Getting in for the wrong reasons. Anything other than love is a problem from my perspective.

 Lack of individual identity. The 2 become 1 but you still have things that are important to just you

 Not having a shared vision of success. Gotta work together or soon be apart .....duhhhh

 The intimacy dissapears. - Gotta give that attention or somebody definitely will suckers

 Finances. - You can do bad alone. Don't jack my funds with you bad habits.....

 Different priorities and interests. - I want 2 learn about God but you want to hit the crack pipe.... not a good sign

 Inability to resolve conflicts. Every couple has disagreements, but when you need a referee to help out? Love covers a lot, but a cheat to win person makes one rethink his/her position.

Millions marry daily and many divorce daily, taking the marriage secrets with them. The way I see it,  the problem is either one or both parties are not doing things the way God says and relying on self logic. The solution is to learn to be your mates bff and do it well. Do what you did the get them in the first place and keep doing that every day.
I am Ward.......

How long term daters see marriage!

 

I am unsure if it’s the man or the woman, but society has got some twisted views on marriage.  No matter how you look at it, Marriage is an institution created by our heavenly father……. meaning a union between 1 man and 1 woman to live together as 1 (same last name and respecting all local requirements) able to enjoy intimate relations and/or having children added to their union if so desired.

However, a common situation I find is that a couple (if that’s what you want to call them) will date forever and then get married only to divorce quickly.  I liken this to an employee working at a fairly good company where they give 100% daily, being loyal -even when the competition is paying more money and a few extras. The employee is expecting to one day become partner or at the very least being Vice President.  How does one feel if that day takes years to come or even worse…….it never comes?  Heck sometimes the company will bring in someone from the outside to be boss/replacement.  I asked my cousin Carla her views on dating her dude Marlin for 6 years and no wedding ring. Below is what her words………

““He doesn’t want to make me a wife, but he wants me to have his baby. He wants me to give up my whole life without him honoring” me” with a wedding.  Men these days, I just don’t get them. They want to date for years and years without having to indefinitely commit to a woman with vows of love. Is the price of a ring that much? Is getting on 1 knee that difficult? Or is til death do us part too long? Why is it that men are OK with being committed to dating forever, but are not as comfortable with coming to marriage forever?

Most of the committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationships I see are more comfortable with being monogamous and intimate, living together, and even making a baby, before the man takes the first steps towards marriage. As a woman living in a patriarchal society, I still see that men get their needs fulfilled way before women ever get theirs. If you ask any young woman (who hasn’t yet been traumatized by the by heartbreaks) most likely her goal is to someday walk down the aisle. If you ask any man, I ‘m sure he would 1^st rather sow his royal oats and enjoy the forbidden fruit before he ever settles down with a woman. It seems to me that men are winning.  Men get what they want in a relationship before the woman gets what she DESERVES.

Many times a woman has to give up her body to pleasure her man and sacrifice her body to bear his children before a man is finally ready to get on that one knee!!! Why can’t men recognize the treasure they have in a women before she pretty much gives up her LIFE for him? If I am not mistaken, men these days are not reflecting the love they should reflect onto their women. Men are requiring a lot more work on our end, before they show their unconditional love and respect to us!......””

I wasn't surprised at Carla's response because as I said, its common for society to think this type of situation is not harmful to the union. In fact, studies show that couples have a greater propensity to divorce after an extended dating period because practice doesn't make you get wore at something: You actually get better!!! So if your man is use to running the streets and do things void of your presence don't think a piece of paper (marriage license) is going to suddenly allow you two to become the perfect couple. 

I sure am glad that employers don't make employees wait years before becoming a regular employee! Looks like the employer has more faith in the you than your lover has in you?

No relationship is perfect especially my own, but at some point it might behoove the couple to move 4ward or move on! Heck, a lot of men are more loyal to their favorite ball team than to the woman they lie down with. Everything in our lives is a reflection of a choices we have made. If you/me want a different results, simply make a different choices suckerz. But as life has taught me today, change is very hard and sometimes down right impossible for some people. In conclusion, I honestly feel that if the couple hasn't decided after 1 year of dating that they want to get married, then one of them is waiting on something or someone better to come along............ IJS

I am Ward.....

Faith in Logic

I am Ward.....

Inside Crying-Outside Dying-2 tha Public Never Lying but desparate to get a better Job.....

My guy Derrick, asked me the other day, have I ever had a job that I really enjoyed. After giving it some serious thought I came up with a one word answer..........NO! I say that with much pain because life has taught me that work is what I do and never who I am! I know 3 many people who get that ideal twisted. Unless a person is running his own business, then you are basically being pimped! 2014 has helped many a people to see that just because you are needed does not mean you are important. Now with that being said, I recently went through a lengthy interview process for a dream job in my field of study. I had to meet with said potential employers 4 times before a decesion was granted. It came down to the final 2 and yours truly is back on the good side of the working world with a slight pep in my step and smile on my face.
Let's take a look back at my previous position to allow you to feel my pain and disrespect. My job consisted of assisting patients in financial distress. I provided them with viable options to result in long term solutions. On paper it seemed like a cool gig, because I enjoy helping those in need. Here is where the dilemma begins: Everyone in this position (even supervisors)  has to wear these uniforms, much like public school kids. To add insult to injury, others doing similar work got to dress like the professionals that they presented to be. When I would walk in the patients room to introduce myself and explain my purpose, one of several things would take place. 1). The patient would look at me, in my polo T-shirt and khaki pants, and decide they don't want to talk to me or partake of my assistance 2). A physician or nurse, would come in the room and act as if I am not there speaking with patient about his balance.... and just start talking directly to the patient- while standing in front of me as I wasn't there!!!! 3). The transportation department would come in the room while I am in there doing my thing and just roll the patient off to another area with obvious disrespect. (If I was a Doctor-Policeman or Lawyer would it have been different?)
All these points were disrespectful and definitely rude but probably not on purpose. Here is the kicker, on Friday's my co-workers were able to wear professional clothing and the respect level was out of this world from Doctors, Nurses and patients like it should be always. You only get one chance to make a first impression and I was the only one who seemed to realize that fact. I realized that you are born once, but you can die a thousand times being stuck in a ground hog day situation. I guess clothes dictate how others view you. I can only imagine how homeless people feel?
It took everything in my bones to keep a smile on my face and a positive attitude in my heart each week. I knew that if I stayed the course I would eventually fall into job that is a good fit for me and my family. I sadly watched 15 of my co-workers quit, transfer or get promoted while keeping up the good fight. I had plenty of great ideals on how this position could have been improved on, but every time my insight, fell on deaf ears. I witnessed the management team change rules/decisions like the wind changes direction, with no input from the people doing the actual work (bad combination). Some days I wanted to call in sick (I never did missed a day) or just blow my work off, but I couldn't because my spouse worked at the same place in a leadership role! I dealt with things by enjoying my week-ends with my wife and kids, by being active in the community and regular in prayer. I think my biggest challenge came when the job decided that after working a 40 hour work week, they were gonna call a mandatory Saturday/s for 16 straight hours more!!!! Staff was told that if you don't come in on said Saturday, don't bother showing up for work on the following Monday. REALLY, I thought. Then they decided they wanted to have another mandatory Saturday the next week too! Recall, I de-stress on the week endz but not them days.
Enough of that lol! FFW to now. I love my new position!!! I am regularly asked for my opinion, I can dress like a professionally educated college man, I get to help others who appreciate my efforts and I am part of a team full of happy employees. I am aware that this position too may have its share of issues but at least it is something tolerable. I realize the experiences that my last opportunity afforded me- helped me to use coping skills that I didn't know had. It made me fight for this new position that I had to have and it reminded me that I should never give up or cease believing that something better is out there 4 me!
Some of the issues may have been trivial looking back, but when you R in the fire all you feel is the tickling flames of despair. Moving forward, I will continue trying to be a better person who will never forget where he has been and keep a keen eye on the person I pretend to be on the outside while crying-dying on the inside at times!
((Hey Derrick, I think my answer is slowly moving to a strong YES!!!!!))
I am Ward.

I wonder what store this could be?

I am Ward....