Love is not jealous, but crazy runs deeper than a mofo!

 

Jealousy is an extremely destructive emotion when left unchecked! While it is perfectly normal to feel a twinge now and then when someone appears to unduly admire our partners, but carried beyond that indicates a problem that many folk don't enjoy. I watched a couple argue at Chili's restaurant one night and I felt bad down to my polka dot socks. I realized, this happens everyday all over the world, but why?

I really feel a common root cause of jealousy in most cases is- low self esteem and insecurity. When you aren't feeling good about yourself and insecure over your partners feelings, jealousy rears its ugly head. Ironically this type of behavior can lead a partner to start to rethink the entire relationship!!!!
The scriptures say it is such a thing as natural jealousy and I have an example: Say you are at a party with your spouse. He/she is obviously flirting and acting inappropriately. Hurt and outraged you fight all the way home and into the bedroom.. The issue here isn't about jealousy. It's about your partner making a fool of you in front of others. Identifying the real issue allows you to address the behavior and not play into the jealousy game.  It has nothing to do with wanting anyone else and everything to do with hurting the other party. If this issue isn't addressed and some boundaries laid out, the relationship won't survive.
There is another type of jealous behavior that can turn very ugly. Again, it isn't truly about jealousy, but trying 2  the other person. A person with this type of trait, will question their partner over and over again about their daily activities, call and try and "catch" the other in some imagined wrongdoing and often "stalk" them.  They listen to phone conversations and read things into situations that are clearly innocent. I just can't seem to figure out why these types want to be with someone they don't even trust? By the time they realize what is really going on, it is too late to fix the situation because the other person will have started to become emotionally detached (and if you are like me, there is not coming back from this)  Or they remain virtual prisoners of their own marriage for years. If you are in a relationship that has this qwerk to it, seek professional counselling, at least for yourself lol......
Loving or healthy marriages don't have the need for jealousy or control. Instead, each person learns to value themselves and their mates, leaving little reason for possession and control.
Love needs room to breathe and grow. You can't make someone love you. You can't control another human being. Marriage is about two people hopefully embarking on a lifetime journey of discovery about themselves and each other. It is about staying with someone you love because you want to, not because you have to. You can justify jealous actions until the cows come home, but Wardy feels if your mate is becoming more despondent towards your increased bouts of jealousy and mistrust, you might do better to pack your bags and leave NOW or stop what is destroying your relationship before you find your self -by your self....
I am ward.....