Fat cops

I was out riding in the car with my co-workers during lunch and we had a great chuckle. We stopped for lunch on the East side at this authentic Mexican joint on Washington street. I say authentic because as we entered the spot- we could smell the super hot sauce from out side. Surprisingly the food was excellent and very economical!
The ironic thing about the adventure was pulling up beside an empty police automobile. We sorta glanced in side and saw all the lost artifacts of western civilization. The car was extra dirty. It was so bad that if I was going to be arrested, I would either request another car to transport me to lock up or ask could I walk my self to jail and he/she follow along. I guess the typical look is for a officer of the law to look the part and represent the part of a model citizen.
Well to add to this Malay of irony, the driver of the car came back to the car with his kids. They were all waaaaaaayyyyyy over weight. I just knew they were not going back to that car, but you know that is exactly where they went. One of my co-workers said "I feel safe knowing that cop is on the force". It was funny but true. It is a fact in the hood that you do not ever run from a fat cop because since they can not catch you, they will shot first and ask questions later.
All I am saying is that, being physically fit is not only healthier, but it is good for the city image. I am not hating on fat people, I am just encouraging moderation and longer life for all. (and run by a car wash sometimes-lol)

I am skinny Ward...

Monday 4 ward

Another Monday! Got up, read the word, went to work and did my thing as challenging as it was, but it is accomplished. I had quite bit of time to reflect on life and this is some of what I was pensive about.

*Why do people think the world's owes them something?
*How come people are prejudice in the year 2008?
*Why does the government make money of keeping people in the justice system
*How high will gas prices really get
*Why do men rape kids or any body...is sex that good or is it a control thing?
*Why do people care more about a celebrity dying rather than a neighbor?
*Do I have to be a millionaire to get out of a DUI (but then again- I don't drink)
*Since the divorce rate is 50%, are the married 50% happily married or just maintaining the front?
*Does a really good slow kiss mean the person is good in bed or was it just luck?
*What makes Georgia Peaches so good?
*Does a person with no arms really need deodorant?
*Why do I end all my blogs with the same line?

I am warD

Eye am mad 2day

Today I am mad, upset, bothered or what ever term people use to express disappointment. This situation goes back to the bad practices of the brother man (previous blog) and his bad practices. I trusted this mechanic to do a job and we move on. I gave him cash up front (bad move) and believed his yes-meant-yes. I was wrong. I learned a lesson and it cost me financially. In the future, I am getting a receipt and checking references. I no longer need to go with a friend's recommendations (even though I trust who I trust) because people tend to be greedy in the hood.

I understand the game, and not trying to change it. I just don't want to play no more. In my past, I use to be a person of revenge and very tit for tat. Like a former crack head, one never gets over the know how of what you did. I don't want to return to the life because I can not risk going to jail. Oprah once said if somethings are worth arguing, fussing and fighting over, then go all out. However, if things are not worth your headache, then let it go. The mechanic can have my money and keep the defective product. This is not easy for me, but I am gonna turn the other cheek.

I am madd WaRd...

imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Remember back when Michael Jordan was killing em softly on the courts. It was very common for that brohter to score them double nickles (55 points) like it was child's play. Shoot- I recall many of the youngsters walking around spitting phrases that said, "I want to be like MIKE" and things of that nature. I think his desire was to make you pay with the calmness of an quite killer- who you knew was out there but did not know where.
Well they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but is that so in all cases? My friend today told me that all guys sing that same song about not wanting to hurt the female in the long run and then end up doing that very thing. Who knows, there could be some truth to that perspective. The way I look at it is, not every relationship is like your last relationship. You have to start out fresh with each person and leave your emotional baggage in the past with the other relationship that did not work out, so you can focus your positive energy on the new situation and perhaps that will be all the better.
I am sure no one wants to be hurt and no one intentionally starts out a new thang with the hidden agenda to hurt someone either. Generally you can not choose how your mate will evolve in a relationship, but you can choose who you mate will be. If you are granted a "get to know them pass" and you like them, feel they are a good person, then give them 100%. Even people in criminal court cases are innocent until proven guilty. Ya feelz me. So the new thing is not imitation but appreciation.

Ward am eye?

3 types of peoplez

In my line of work I have had to subject myself to listen in ways that I previously was unable to or at least never thought of. By this, I mean with my eyes, my logical syde as well as my heart. I have to be able to look a man in the eyez and ask him some difficult question and then discern if he is lying 2 me. I admit at times, it gets very challenging, but I had to realize that with all the issues in the world today, it basically boils down 2 three types of people. 1). People who things happen to, 2). People who watch things happen and 3). People who make it happen.

I get tired of the people who things happen to. They usually say statements like "I don't know how that happen, or what had happen was or why me". I understand that bad things befall us all sometimes, but if you fall down and stay down, all you really learn how to do is crawl. GET UP, MAN UP, Free your self from pitty and make a way out of no-way sucka. Rehab is for quitters!!!

The people who watch things happen are the one's with all the great ideals, full of advice for "YOU" and often talk about what could have happen on IF!!! 2 that I say, If (((IF))) was a fifth, we would all be drunk-lol. Don't get me wrong, we need spectators in the game of life, but some times the starters get hurt and the bench players (who knows all the plays)have to get in the game. No excuses allowed. If you got any guts, a plan or just know how- then pretend you are a Nike sign and "just do it".

My favorites are the people who make it happen!!! You know that brother who can sell an eskimo snow in the winter. The woman who works two full time jobs and attends community college and still get mother of the freaking year. What about the man with no hands, but writes with his feet And earns an honest living. The brother with 6 felonies and still got a great job at the university. I like these types because they clearly understand that an obstacle is an oppourtunity for you to use skillz that you did not know you had. The world is made up of 95% followers and 5% leaders. My question for yall is where you at?

I am wARD>>>>

The ugly truth or the pretty lie (male version)

She asks him "Do I look fat in this outfit", he thinks N his mind of the many possible responses before he speaks! He asks her is ((he)) her dream guy, she thinks N her mind of the many possible responses before she speaks. Yes the title of this blog is in full effect mode. From my perspective, people ask questions or are in situations that they R not really ready to accept! Case in point is brought out in the first couple lines (slow people- please re-read).

I feel that women have a harder time with this dilemma than men, therefore society caters to their emotions. Look at the clothing sizes. Women have lower numbers to keep them from looking fat. Size 1,2,3,4, etc, while men have size 36 jeans or 44 long sport jackets. Lets just be real, the truth hurts and it often times puts us in situations where we have to decide to tell the ugly truth or the pretty lie.

Even in the work place, I can not be real like I need to with one of my co-workers because I know I would be very vicious. Umm, the things I would say to that person would shock many!! Does that make me a hypocrite- or political correct? (Don't worry its rhetorical) I also know when it comes to getting to know somebody can be a fun new adventure if the excitement is reciprocated. If someone wants your time and you are too busy, then just say "I have no time for you, I have more important issues or people in my life right now". And the person who wants your time should be able to say, I give up on you because I have given you a free "get to know me" pass into my world and you rejected me. We are all adults playing a kidz game of life. So Man up or Woman up -and just be as real as you can- or find your self- by your self -with your self- drinking short island ice-T's thinking about them 60 days.


I am truthfully WarD....

Business and the brotha man

Here is a little known widely held belief amongst the black community. Blacks have a tough decision when it comes to getting some home projects done, car repairs or shopping for a home. Do I go with the brotha man who looks like me and knows my struggles or do I go with the uther man who is gonna charge me more and make me wonder can I really trust this buster? Humm, decisions-decisions-decisions! What to do?
I have had two of my three homes remolded and have decided that I need to deal with that uther man from this point forward. Don't get me wrong, I am not that dude who thinks he is better than most black people, but I have learned that all things that glitters are not always platinum (you thought I was gonna say gold). One time, I had tried the brotha man and his crew and the crew actually got in a fight at my house over crack!!! I kicked all of them ninja's out my spot. Then there was the time I was house hunting and the the uther man kept tring to get my into homes in areas of town that I wasn't feeling. No matter how hard I tried he was adamant of what HE was feeling.Shoot one house had a freaking chalk outline on the floor!!!! I kicked him to the curb and got with Billy Bob and we found 7 good choices in 24 hours.....
Today my dilemma comes from getting my van repaired. I started out with the seals leaking oil and my regular mechanic was detained by the authorities so I went with a friends guy (brother) and he did the work, but immediately something else broke on the van. Humm what a coincidence. The hook up said he could fix that too. But it get worse, he said my transmission was gone and he could replace it. I reluctantly said o.k, but wait, he said it is the motor. Fast forward 2 months and he still is not done with my van. My point.....I don't even have to tell you all what I should and will do next time.
Now I am aware that these could very well be isolated incidents, but Dang it... I tired and I now know when I gotta pay a little more to get on with life. We ain't ready yet. Ya know it. Shoot even Jessie Jackson is hating of Barack, why should it be any different for your boy......

I Ward am......?

Elvis

Today after yet another bad customer service experience, I came home to get me a cool glass of kool-aide! While sitting there I flicked over to TV land and saw this documentary on Elvis. I must admit I was deeply interested and moved by the show. The man was far from perfect but he was an entertainer. I personally have performed a few shows with a group I was in back in the daze and it is a feeling that you can only get if you have been there before.
I saw the millions of fans straight jocking this man to the point that he was untouchable, even from his own self. He took pills to help him sleep and to help him get up the next day and he supposedly was unaware that he had an addiction. Perhaps many people don't think they can get hooked on prescription drugs? He was a psuedo drug enforcement agent for President Nixon to. (what a Joke)
I think the most memorable fact of the show was see why he cheated on his wife and always came back home to her. He was under the logic that its unemotional and something that came with the job, as long as he came back home- it was all good. I guess Priscilla didn't think so, and left his butt and that brotha dang near lost his mind. He was always use to hear Yes to everything. She still loved him.
I do have visions of making it big in comedy, but I just hope that I won't get so large that I become out of touch with reality. But then again, we know who is the invisible ruler of this world is. Today I am reflecting on the fallen soldiers whom the world has come to love.....

Am Ward I..........

Poetry for that tazzz

Poor Girl....

You've got another love
and I know it
Someone who adores you
just like me
Hanging on your words
like they were gold
Thinking that he understands
your soul
Poor Dude
Just like me.

You're breaking another heart
and I know it
and there's nothing
I can do
If I try to tell him
what I know
He'll misunderstand
and make me step
Poor Dude
Just like me
You're going to leave him too
and I know it
He'll never know
what made you go
He'll cry and wonder
what went wrong
Then He'll begin
to sing Wardz song
Poor dude
Just like me.....
I guess she won't be your baby after all?

I am wARD/ author is Maya Angelou/ the girl is ?

Dat ain't right

It's a fact that a woman's appearance can attract or repel a man at any time during their relationship. Many women become infuriated about this. They believe it's unjust that if a man has grey hair or wrinkles he is seen as distinguished and wise, while she is seen as simply being old. But that is a fact that sometimes there is bad weather with thunder and rain, yet there's absolutely no point getting upset about it, calling it unfair, saying its unjust or holding a rally. The weather is the weather- it doesn't matter what you think about it. When you accept that, you can prepare 4 it by having an umbrella , coat , hat, gloves or sun lotion. That way, you can go out in any weather, enjoy it and have a good time. There is no point in staying indoors and complaining about what you can't change. And so it is with the way men think. Don't fight us, manage us-lol!!

My point is clear if you are smart, but for the one or two special readers of mine (and the gay anonymous hater),It is gonna be what it is, don't fight it just deal with it. Its like having having a baby, You don't know what to expect, but you are gonna love it anyway....most of the time...hahaha.

You know what goes here ((((I am Ward))))

eye need more time for my 66 T-bird

Is it not funny how fast the weekend blows by and then the work week starts every things seems to S-L-O-W D-O-W-N!! I mean ya boi had to get up fight the mourning traffic to attend a training seminar down at the gov't center. I had to circle around town for 4 hours (not really) to try and find a freaking spot. After that I dang near got strip searched by the guards at the metal detectors.
To make matters worse, when I finally found the class, the speaker thought he was trying out for last comic standing and he was not standing.....believe me! I think I am somewhat funny and this dude should stick to his day job. I dipped from the pseudo comedy club and went downtown to a court hearing and got stripped searched again (I think I kind of like it now)and the guards stole/kept my finger nail clipper that I brought in because they said it could double as a weapon. I think the lady just knew it was new! She probably at home right now cutting her big krusty the clown toe nails. Oweee I hate her! I think I paid dang near fifty cents for those clippers. Yall tune in for the future because I may devise a plan to get my clippers back.
Anyway, I saw some things today, I just didn't think was possible. All I can say is, Remember how we felt when O.J. Simpson got off with his charges, well that is how I felt today. I learned that given enough time the average man can take on the best public defender and make him look like a new fool-lol!! Enough said on that topic. I did manager to see my good friend during the lunch hour and share a few chuckles. We gotta do lunch Wednesday.
After court I pushed my whipp quickly down 70 east to get to my daughters orientation over at the school (it was packed with extra happy parents). Went to Kroger's to get the product to prepare sloppy Joe and got tired and decided to go to Taco Bell. Went home and trimmed the girls hand and toe nails and slapped on a new coat of finger nail polish for them, gave them new fresh ear rings, ironed the new school clothes. We talked about school etiquette and the bible and watched an episode of "I want to work for Diddy" and then them sucka went to bed. I went to blog. I realized 28 hours in a day is not enough for me. I need time to have time for my time.

Am I Ward........

cyber love

Have you ever fell in love with a stranger? Perhaps they walk by your window at work everyday at lunch (nahh that might make you a stalker), or have you created the perfect mate in your mind and it gets you through the day (nope- that may mean you are crazy). My personal favorite would be just reading a random blog and find someone so interesting that you create the fantasy in your head that seems surreal!!! That is possible for the most normal person because you can read about that person's life and get to know them intimately without ever meeting face to face.

My cyber gal is cooler than the other side of the pillow. Even though I would never desire to meet her (she would blow my image for sure)in person, I think it would go like this. We would meet at a quaint spot in broad ripple, we would sit by the piano and stare into each others eyes and talk about a variety of topics. She would bring in a photo album and allow me into her past and present. She would speak of her job, goals, clothes, cars and her love of chocolate. I would speak of my thoughtz on jail, alternative life styles, vacations, love and so fourth. She would not even notice me admiring how beautiful she is, not because of physical attributes, rather her intelligence and honesty (not over looking her perfect rack-lol).

At the end of the pseudo date, I would walk her to her Mitsubishi Eclipse and pull her in my arms, squeeze gently and kiss her ever so passionately and then whisper in her ear I LOVE YOU. We both would drive off back in the make believe world of cyber space.

Eye am cyber Ward.....lol

I enjoy my faithful haters

I was thinking about the uniqueness that exists between men and women and had to jot down my thoughts on my blog. I know that men seem to talk way less then women but they still say generally the same thing. Let me break this down 4 ya!
Men don't expect other men 2 talk much and WE never insist on having conversations. When 1 of us is fire gazing with a drink in our hand, other men intuitively understand, and allow him us 2 carry on. WE never force him to talk. Nobody says, "Tell me about your day...Who did you meet and what were they like? When we do talk, we discuss work, sports, cars an spatially related thangz. WE take turns at speaking because our brains are organized either to speak or listen, unlike women- They can't do both-lol!
"Solution"
Men find it hard to understand Y a woman want 2 know all the details about the lives of friends and acquaintances- because if our friend wanted us to know anything, then he'd tell us. It's not that a man is not interested in our friends, we just want to know the bottom line facts and outcomes. The only time a man will talk to otherz about personal details is if we are unable 2 solve a problem and then, as a last resort- we will ask a friend 4 advice. So keep in mind, men meet others to discuss results and solutions and to relieve stress. We rarely ask about personal matters unless its a gay hater reading my blog (that is 15 more seconds of shame 4 you).
It also dawned on me that my hater (I only have one hater now- but taking applications for many more because I am the shizz*nitt I guess) reads my blog and has to tell others because "he/it" does not know what to do with all this information!!! "It" leaves me anonymous messages because of its insecurities. So hater --the above advice is for you and all other ladies who need a clue. I am off 2 play golf ( Gentlemen only ladies forbidden... look it up)!

I am ward....the author who got yo attention.....lol!!

I use to love her but now I hate her

She broke my heart when I tried to compliment her,
She stole my car when I went to get gas,
I thought she was my friend, but I guess I was wrong,
Now I am hurt and she now gets the last laugh.....

I am ward.....