After speaking to numerous couples, I find that my advice is similar to what the couples in question are trying to say to each other in the first place. The one variable that causes couples the most damage is what we will call emotional white noise. What's that you ask? Quite simply this grasshopper: When you live with someone on a daily basis, you know their missed potentials, the things they could do better, their bad habits and all the things they pretend to be. So when a counselor gives advice, they can do it with out the emotional white noise attachment. They can ask the same questions and get to the root of the matter quickly. Nevertheless, Wardy has decided to bless y'all with some help "U" in the same fashion. But, I must warn you that if you not careful, you may just learn something!!!!
*Women must learn to Point Talk Their MEN!!!!.....(Example) If you really want your man to hear what you have to say yelling or loud talking him may not be your best option. Try this...."Honey, we need to talk about the trip, why I have concerns about the logistics, and what I think we can do to resolve them".
What I normally hear from women in this situation is this: I don't want to do that. "Do you know how much work that is? Why can't we.........". Women know I am being honest on this lol!
*Avoid the false okay ladies! Women like to make things okay & go as far as saying things are okay even when they really don't feel that way! Saying okay is seems to be easier than arguing over something stupid. Heck, women go as far as saying okay with a dejected tone and the long horse face look and assume that the men folk with pick up one it ( We won't because we take yall at your word that its o.k.) Just tell men the truth from the jump and you may be surprised that we will survive. The Bible says beautifully "Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no
*Explain the nature of the conversation to the man....Do you you want to be heard, do you have a pr.oblem, did you have a bad day and simply need to talk. Make sure you know what you want before you start talking to men. If you just need an ear to listen, just say that! Example: Can I tell you about my day and what happened to me? Soon the man will learn that you are just looking for peace of mind and not a solution from the man at this point and he can relax and let you exhale!
*Keep your self tight for yourself. Why do I see so many women running all winter trying to stay fit and watching what they eat to be ready to wear them short outfits in the summer. Now the other side of that coin is the women who do nothing and then try to take diet pills or buy bigger clothes or resort to talking about how nasty the other women who worked out are. What up with that? Men are not gonna trip if you gain a pound or two. Men just don't like it when you don't seem to care no more. When lifetime and bon bons becomes your best friend and you get mad when your dude notice that chick who been on a game like you could have.
Yeah women are specail, but you can still learn to communicate with your man before you don't have one...
I am ward.....
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