O.k. here is the situation. There is this black and white cow looking cat that hangs around my work site. Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal for me because I can usually just walk past him but this critter seems to have found some suckers at the job who thinks he is all that! At 1st the others co-workers would just leave small bowls of milk out side for him but the quickly progressed to small pieces of meat-then to this moocher getting his own bowl with actual cat food in it.
So, I was still cool with that until, he started scratching at the door when he wants to come in the house at night. I tell you, if I had stun gun or a pit-bull I could end this toxic relationship now before one of us gets to attached (that is a joke)! One night he sat at the patio door for two hours looking at me as if I would finally give in and let him enter. I guess somebody done told him wrong (in my Martin voice)! I finally put a sheet over the glass and he left and went back to where ever mooching cats go.
I thought he was gone and I would never see him again. I was wrong! I came to work the next day and guess who was in the kitchen on the (((FREAKING COUNTER))) sitting there like he run something. Yeah- it was him "Felix" (Yes they gave this sucka a name too). I could have swore I heard that cat laugh at me when we locked eyes and he saw how surprised I was to see him in the house! The staff said they felt sorry and brought him in out of the cold. Please keep in mind that this cat is fat!! He hasn't missed "any" meals....eva! So they put him out the house cuz I wouldn't take off my coat nor remove my hand from my mouth. I can't have no cat hair flying up my nose! As the cat walked out the front door, he farted and said I will be back like he was Arnold Schaznigger from The Terminator?
I think I pot-tied on myself just a little bit when I heard the cat speak! But I am worried....who am i kidding, I am skerd of the demon seed!
I am Ward....
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