Love does not keep account of injury.......or should I say "not suppose 2"

They say perception is reality and I must admit, I think I agree even though, I spin it a little differently. I say "If someone shows you who they are....believe them? Check it: I met a young lady back in day who told me from 21 jump street that she had a "Major Anger Issues", I remember laughing at what I thought was a joke. Well after getting keys thrown at my face, windows at my apartment busted out and several near fights at my job, I realized that......she tried to told me, but I saw what I wanted to see.
The truth of the matter is- we are all imperfect (messed up) and prone to have strong view points on what ever our reality is based on what we been through. Take me for example, I am big on customer service. I feel that it should be the norm, but if you have gone to a fast food restaurant lately, then you undoubtedly know that is a long last art-lol! I been flipping cars for ump-teen years now and I pride myself of being a good salesman, and actually find myself comparing others techniques to my own. I think either he/she is better than me and I need to copy that or he/she sucks!
When it comes to relationships....well lets just say all people come with a bit of over-sale. When you first meet,its all good. The long conversations about nothing, with the t.v. off and your attention at 100! Total respect and admiration of the other, but what happens after the comfort factor slips into the thang......Well you get what I mentioned earlier if you are lucky or worse. I can't tell you how many times my people have told me experiences about reliving the past via arguments. The good book says Love does not keep account of injury-does it not. Where is the customer service (love) in this situation.
Seems like certain ones of us in business, love or life like to keep a memory, email, text- etc, handy so when the time is right to balance the injustice we feel we have incurred. But seriously at the end of the day, who really cares? I just hate the fact that we as intelligent creatures respect our work family more than our own families. How many times do we yell at our boss or break something at work and then give that how you like me now smirk? I think less often then at home!
I believe people want to be viewed as a certain way (our presented/crafted character)that we feel comfortable with. Don't we expect the gay man with perfectly manicured nails and perfect outfit and spotless Saab convertible sports car to have a very neat home too? Would we be surprised to see him on america's nastiest homes show? The flip side is our integrity (who we are or what we do when no one is watching). It funny how people are sometimes. I wonder how God feels looking at all of us sometimes. We can sometimes be know it alls, stubborn, ungrateful, belligerent,double standard dealing and unforgiving people, yet we think our stuff don't stink.
Today I am just thinking about how it all starts out good and goes sour later. So I made a personal decision to work on love as written in the word for the betterment of myself. I think I finally get it- people expect perfection from others and make excuses for themselves...
I BE wARD...

Can you just like me alot next time.......please?

Could it be the worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn't want to be held on to.Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you.The thing about falling in love is that if you do it right, you'll never hit the ground or not as hard because lets face it- Aint nobody perfect......yet! Life is too short to be anything but happy. So kiss slowly.Love deeply.Forgive quickly and cuddle close. Take calculated chances & never have regrets.Forget the past but remember what it taught you.Sometimes, you just have to smile, pretend everything's okay,hold back the tears and walk away.If you want to see the rainbow you must go through the rain.If you want TRUE LOVE you must go through the pain.
They say love doesn't or isn't suppose to hurt, but people sometimes do. Why do people do bad/hurtful things? Its innate people. Doesn't make it right, just a reason. We seem to hurt the ones closest to us.... and 4 that reason alone many of us are knocking of deaths door! Wardy advice: Own our various selves and curb what we are doing incorrectly and try to do the best we can do in what is most important to us. If its your relationships, educational endeavors, secular employment desires or religious goals: Just for a while, make that your focus and yield the benefits. Better yet, we can always say Deuces to the nuisance or keep in mind that we all sometimes miss the mark!
I am warD......

I umm...am sorry...or didn't mean too...what had happen....nevermind...

We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. So why is apologizing so darn difficult to do? Most of us like to be the recipient of a heartfelt apology, but giving is different from receiving, isn't it?

As I'm sure you've figured out, there are many reasons why saying "I'm sorry" is such a challenging endeavor. First of all, who likes to admit they're wrong? It's NOT fun! Believe me, I know. I've had lots of practice. Well not that much-lol!

Sometimes it's the fear of rejection that makes an apology so hard to say. The prospect of getting a cold shoulder, not being forgiven or losing a friend can understandably be unsettling, especially when it comes from someone you still love, care about and want to maintain a relationship with. Sometimes people feel that initiating an apology is a sign of weakness.

Apologizing can make some people feel vulnerable, or feel like they are in danger of losing their power and status. Others simply equate saying "I'm sorry" with admitting they're inadequate or incompetent, which makes admitting mistakes so much harder to do. Some people find saying they’re sorry humiliating. Perhaps they were criticized harshly by parents or other important people while growing up, and as a result avoid admitting mistakes because of the horrible feelings it brings up.

Some people prefer to stay in denial. Their logic goes something like this: If you don't admit you've done anything wrong, then it's almost like not doing anything wrong at all. If there is no admission of fault, then there is no need to take responsibility. If it were only that easy! Some view giving an apology in very black-and-white terms. Giving an apology is like being the "loser" and the person receiving the apology is the "winner."

The one who is wrong needs to ask forgiveness from the one who is right. Understandably, that's not a fun thought. Sometimes it's our pride or ego that gets in the way. And, of course, those who lack empathy can have a hard time embracing another person's feelings or perspective altogether, which makes saying sorry virtually impossible to do.

Apologies aren't supposed to be easy. They are supposed to be soul-baring. That's why, when done right, they are so powerful and healing. It's hard to admit that we've hurt someone's feelings or caused someone pain, whether it's intentional or not. It's also hard to see ourselves in a less-than-positive light. It requires taking off the blinders we wear and facing our flaws drawz and all.

Saying sorry is meant to make us feel vulnerable. How could it not? But here's the thing: It's really important to do in order for us to have healthy relationships. We all want and need to feel safe with the people we allow into our inner circle. We want to know that the people we are close to care about how we feel and are willing to admit their flaws. Not taking responsibility for wrongdoings makes us seem unsafe or untrustworthy. And withholding an apology is certainly not going to win us any friends! Saying you're sorry shows those you love that you care enough about them and the relationship to be aware of your shortcomings and take responsibility for your hurtful actions. In the end, making things right is way more important than being right.
Oh yeah.... I am Ward....

(((I reprinted this with permission..)))She ain't no expert

I am NOT an Expert
By Taylor Cast | Published: October 16, 2010
Mat­ters of the heart are never easy. Seriously.
I write about rela­tion­ship advice and I never claimed to be an expert, I stress this often.
I feel like a fraud.
Why?
Because despite the fact that I give good rela­tion­ship advice, and let’s face it I know I do, I can’t seem to make my own rela­tion­ships work. I real­ize that in saying/​writing this I am pos­si­bly dis­count­ing all the advice I’ve ever given. I’m okay with that. The advice I give is based entirely on my own expe­ri­ences and from the mis­takes I have made and learned from. You don’t get your heart bro­ken with­out learn­ing a few pointers.


So why do I feel like a fraud? Well in my own life the same dat­ing issues plague me. The dis­ap­pear­ing man; the comittment-​​phobe; the player, the nar­cis­sist, you name it, I’ve dated it. Recently I’ve been dat­ing some­one who I thought, and just may, defy all of those cat­e­gories. I’ve opted out of writ­ing about him because it is pre­cious to me. Also because I think in writ­ing about my cur­rent rela­tion­ships it opens up a door that I would rather keep shut, the door that allows oth­ers to offer input on my rela­tion­ship. This is some­thing I only want from my own close friends. Well recently I got my heart bro­ken. To be quite hon­est I was blind-​​sided. I knew that there were lim­i­ta­tions to our rela­tion­ship, cir­cum­stances I had accepted as tem­po­rary. Yet in spite of this real­ity I fell in love.
I know I am stat­ing the obvi­ous here but to define love is an exer­cise in futil­ity, you can­not define some­thing that you can only feel in your own heart and is an expe­ri­ence that is com­pletely dif­fer­ent for each per­son. I for one know that my sit­u­a­tion is chal­leng­ing to solve because of this silly emo­tion, love. I fell in love, I didn’t want to fall, I wasn’t look­ing to fall, and I was con­tent to keep my heart and san­ity intact. Yet here I am now in love with some­one and faced with the real­ity that this love may pos­si­bly be wasted. Why do we make it so hard on our­selves? We fall and then we entan­gle our­selves into another person’s heart and life. It is so much eas­ier to be self­ish and keep those feel­ings at bay. Why didn’t I just do that? Run away at the first sign of deep emo­tion. I could have escaped all these hurt feel­ings and rejec­tion. Why? Because the allure of love is so intox­i­cat­ing, it makes you feel as if lone­li­ness is just a word. Love makes us brave: it makes us hope­ful for the future. The scary part about that is when you fall you begin to make deci­sions in your life fac­tor­ing in the object of your love. I am at a point in my life where I am mak­ing big deci­sions about my future and I wasn’t scared to fac­tor in this per­son. I was excited to include them.

If any­one in my cur­rent sit­u­a­tion asked me for advice I would tell him or her to walk away. It is so sim­ple to give advice from an out­side per­spec­tive. To look at the sim­ple facts and offer a cut and dry solu­tion. When you are wrapped up in the mid­dle and feel­ings are involved it’s dif­fi­cult to see what the next move should be.
For the most part I believe things are black and white and when it comes to love and rela­tion­ships you’re in or out. I don’t know is not a suf­fi­cient answer. Back to my cur­rent grey sit­u­a­tion; my advice to myself would be to “say good­bye, move on and get over it. Sure you’ll be sad and you’ll ques­tion of you did the right thing a few hun­dred times but even­tu­ally it won’t hurt any­more and then you’ll truly move on. This sit­u­a­tion that you are in now will become a mem­ory. It will be a les­son learned and you’ll be the bet­ter for it.” But, me, now stand­ing here decid­ing what to do I can’t take my own advice. I tried to. I tried to be strong and walk away and main­tain some self-​​respect but that didn’t last. Because I have all these ter­ri­ble con­fused feel­ings and unan­swered ques­tions. They are swim­ming around in my head and mak­ing every­thing unclear. Some­one asked me today when I stopped think­ing with my head and started think­ing with my heart. I can say that it was the moment that the word love entered into my vocab­u­lary again. Love. What the #&$^ is love? I’ve only been in love once before now, it was won­der­fully ter­ri­ble. It ended as most love sto­ries do and I didn’t recover for a very long time. But in look­ing back I wasn’t in love with him so much as I was in love with the per­son I thought he was.

I have been known to make deci­sions very quickly about men. I have always fallen fast with­out tak­ing into account the risks. I also give peo­ple the ben­e­fit of the doubt too often. I want them to be the great per­son I see in them. Per­haps they haven’t real­ized their full poten­tial yet but I still see the good in them. In turn I fall for the poten­tial rather than the per­son. I am always opti­mistic that they will treat me how I treat them, with respect and con­sid­er­a­tion. Yet this seems to be taken advan­tage of in me. For exam­ple the dis­ap­pear­ing man in my life who sud­denly reap­peared only to dis­ap­pear again, I gave him the ben­e­fit of the doubt and he did exactly what every­one told me he would. Take what he wanted, tell me what I wanted to hear and then dis­ap­pear. Per­haps the sec­ond and third chances I give to peo­ple are wasted. Maybe I am allow­ing myself to merely play a part in other people’s dra­mas. I fill my role and then I am writ­ten out of the story just as quickly as I was intro­duced. I don’t want to be bit­ter and sus­pi­cious of every per­son who I give my affec­tion to. The min­i­mal guard I already have up is cum­ber­some and I don’t want to have it in place any­more. I want to be able to open myself up and let some­one in who wants to fall in love with me.

We have to be our own guardians. We have to make sure the peo­ple we allow to the cen­ter of emo­tional being are wor­thy of our love. But how do we deter­mine who is wor­thy? What are the cri­te­ria? Time is the answer; it is the only true test. Peo­ple can­not fake it for­ever. Time will show if they can reach the poten­tial you have assigned to them. The solu­tion for me mov­ing for­ward is to not fall in love with poten­tial, but rather look at the per­son and see the lim­i­ta­tions and accept them as a real­ity until proven oth­er­wise. As for the choice I need to make now, I am still unclear on how to pro­ceed. I think I’ll start think­ing with my head for starters and leave my heart out of the decision-​​making.

SHE is not Ward.....but I am

Only fools and the dead RUFUSE to accept change.....

Have you noticed that the people you love the most, the people who are closest to you- are the ones you hurt the most???? How easy it is for us to be nice to a complete stranger, yet when it comes to the ones we love, we will not hesitate to give them a whiplash, cut them off when they are talking or just straight loud talk them!

Questions like these keep popping into my mind time and again lately. Makes me wonder why do we do this? Is it that we take our loved ones for granted, or is it because we feel that they will not judge us? Could it be possible it is a sign of frustration, not with others - but rather with us? Perhaps we have very high expectation in life and look for high Returns on our Investments of love? If the return is not high, we get agitated and make them live to regret their failing to meet our expectations. It is true is it not? I mean, we know what they like and we learn how to not give it 2 them.

Speaking of truth - that according to me is the other reason we hurt others. We do not have the courage and strength to accept the truth being imparted out by our dear ones. So what do we do....REACT!! Do we even think how difficult it must be for them to even come to us with the facts? Naah, that isn't as important as our own preconceived ideals or points of view!

The saying goes that the only constant in life is change and so here we are acting as change agents trying desperately to bring about change in the ways of the ones we love. Why simply because according to us they do not act in a way which is conformed and meets our lofty standards. In the bargain we are destroying the individual, as well as the relationship. We simply would not dare do this to a stranger.

I know it is easy for me to be misunderstood, by someone reading this article. But that is exactly what I am trying to relate, as another possible reason of causing hurt. Misunderstandings as we know are nothing but our failure, to see the other side of the mountain. We act like a horse with blinkers and see only one side of the story. It might also be due to our conditioning, which has left an impression on our minds making us stinky hard boiled eggs.

There are many things in life that I don't know and may never know the answers to but I feel confident knowing where to look. Still it is human to have doubts or questions, but the methodology is what makes the learning palatable- does it not? My point is this: When emotions are high-reasoning is low.
I am Ward.......

Be aware of these lies and liars.....

I was listening to that new Chris Breezy song and noticed that a few words mentioned that "all women Lie". So I wrote down the top women lies and the top men lies....

Women
1. "I am fine...nothing is wrong with me."
2. "What? This old thing. I had this forever and never wore it."
3. "This was cheap and I got it on sale!"
4. "I have a headache".
5. "I am on the way and almost there".

Men


1."I am gonna give you a call"
2. "This is my last-beer,scam,kiss,email,text...etc".
3. "No that doesn't make you look fat".
4. "Of course I like your hair like that".
5. "I love you".


I am wARD.....

whY eye gotta be the bigger person

I am WARd......

The monday Mourning QuarterBLACK...

When you see a man of worth, think of how you may emulate him. When you see one who is unworthy, examine yourself.
Confucius ***

Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don't look at it and wish you had painted something different.
Author Unknown ***
Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.
Ralph Blum***

To be able to give away riches is mandatory if you wish to possess them. This is the only way that you will be truly rich.”
Mahummad Ali
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx***
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
Dalai Lama ***

Its often hard to see our own faults, especially when it should be so obvious, yet we sometimes don't! But the ironic thing about it is- when you see others with your same issues- "YOU" spot it immediately-lol!
I am WarD...

PriDe.....

Have you ever been wrong or wronged somebody? Shoot, I know I have. But the ? is Why?
Sometimes the problem may not be merely stubbornness. It may be related to another characteristic—pride. How could this be? Well, consider. Have you ever known a supervisor at work who makes a mistake and, when it is exposed, refuses to admit it or tries to blame someone else? Or, perhaps, you have heard a speaker unintentionally say something inaccurate, then be unwilling to acknowledge it. This could be due to pride, a feeling that in his position he should not be caught in a mistake. Parents and schoolteachers sometimes act this way, fearing that they will lose respect and influence if they admit an error, thus weakening their authority.
Related to pride is the idea of “saving face.” In the Orient some would rather die literally than “lose face.” But most of us, whether in the East or the West, want to defend our “face,” our prestige or the image we want to present. This is motivated to a great extent by pride.
Is pride a quality Christians or Bible students should cultivate? Well, when we think of proud people, who comes to mind? Men like Sennacherib, Pharaoh and the king of Babylon (and even the Devil himself). (1 Tim. 3:6) True, these kings were praised and feared by their contemporaries, but how did God view them? The Bible says: “Self-exaltation and pride . . . I have hated.” (Prov. 8:13) And where is the glory of these men now? Sometimes its just better to be wrong for now and Trust the Lord and watch how it all turns out. Ya feelz me?
I am Ward......

My kids are my heroz......

I will be the first person to admit that I never wanted kids! I really did not see any reason why I should have any because I just wanted to travel the world and take in all that our creator has given mankind. O.k., maybe I just felt like I wasn't parent material. I recall my mother always being there for me, coming to school functions, watching me play basketball, teaching me and all my friends how to drive, helping me when I was sick, teaching me about the value of a dollar and so much more. Never thought I could do it. Of course I had a father there too, but he often worked two jobs and seldom had time to speak with me about anything. If he did talk it was usually to discipline me. I can't recall one time that we sat down and just had a normal conversation about my goals, my day or life. Dang I may need professional help now that I think about it? Yeah, I just knew having kids would be the thing "not" for me!
I recall speaking with a plumber friend of mine back in the day and he told me that he understood that I never wanted kids but Jehovah may have other plans for me in that area. He felt I was a good person who some kids could really respect-love and look up to. I never for got that conversation, sure I thought he was crazy, but sincere. Thank you Mr. Scott.
Fast forward to 2010 and notice I have two daughters who love me to death and I love them back. Many times we sit and watch comedy clips after school while waiting on dinner and then react the funny parts over! We laugh and laugh. We talk about each others day as we eat dinner and talk about future plans. I basically learned that loving someone other than myself isn't hard, it just takes patience and a caring attitude. I think I learn more from them than they can ever learn from me! I watch them roll on the floor and they play, do their homework, fight and be madd at each other. Funny thing about that is, that always remain friends. These simple acts taught me we can't expect others to always make the choices or moves we would have made and we can't always be right. One thing we can control is our actions. I have never once saw my kids hold a grudge against a family member or stop speaking talking someone for over 20 minutes. They just got too much to talk about huh?
Hearing the girls laughter makes me laugh because I know they don't know the prejudices of the world, the pain of their first love and the sadness of losing a loved one. They are happy! Why shouldn't they be, they are at a point in life where they are not jaded by the world but reflecting what is positive in it as we all should do.
With that being said, I like being a parent- not that I am perfect at it- but it is a privilege and blessing from our creator. I am sure there will be days when I will almost hate them -lol, but no matter what, we gonna get through it together with big kool-aid smiles on our faces!!! I know there many people that can relate to my experiences so this blog is for you too!
Live in the moment, leave the negativity for the negative people and always tell and show your kids how much you love them.
I am Ward........