I dont really recall how it all happened but the parts I do remember dang near scard your boi 4 life! It was late one Friday night and I was watching the birth channel I guess, and started thinking to myself "that if having a baby was so hard, I am sure men would be the one's who would have been chosen to do it". All you gotta do is push and you got the eppi-darnell shot that takes all the pain-right? I then thought how women don't have to worry about approaching men for dates and so on and fell asleep thinking about that!
Next thing I know, I woke up and was a................WOMAN! I was like what the freak has happened to me? I had some double Deez too! I think I looked at them for about 37 minutes before I resumed my screaming. Well I finally accepted my fate that I was now a woman. I had to embrace this new me. I got dressed in a red dress and some flip flops (just couldn't do the heels)and went to the garage and found a nice convertible Saab! My work badge was on the seat, so I went to the job. FYI: I was a Lawyers assistant.Before I went in the building I saw some chapstic called MAC. I perfer carmax, but I used what was handy. I applied that stuff and could not unstick my lips for 20 minutes. What is that stuff glue? Anyway, I guess I got paid well cause the diggs was all that and then sum. I walked into the building and all the dudes was checking me out and I forgot I was a chick so I was mean mugging them suckers and thinking I wish you would. Oops I passed by a mirror and tried to holla at myself, dang I forgot! O.k. I am back in character and walked in the office and my boss smacked me on the butt and asked was we going back to the lunch get away???? Oh (cuss word) to the KNOLL. I just went to my desk with a frown on my face. I suddenly became over whelmed with a bunch of feelings of mixed emotions. I was feeling fat, but jealous of the other lady next to me, then I wanted to call somebody but realized I hate people today. What is going on with my hormones I thought? I got up to get some coffee and started crying so I went back to my desk. I remember thinking I wish I had a dude to call and start a fight with about something that happened 24 years ago, but I think I was single?
In walks my girlfriend, I guess, cause she age some of my doughnut and started gossiping about the other women in the building and I found myself oddly interested and it actually made sense why Sherl down the hall was a slut. Seems that Sherl did always speak to everybody. That huzzie!!! Gee, my stomach is aching pretty bad by now, I wonder why? Hummmmmm. Next,think I realized is that I heard a loud buzzing noise and I suddenly woke up from this nightmare on Elmer street to find I was back at home. I was logical again, I had a flat chest and let out a loud fart. Wheewww, I thought....Women are crazy and men really didn't make them that way?
I am woman....I mean Ward.
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