How well do you listen?

Communication is important in a relationship, but what I find is that it isn't that couples don't communicate--they don't listen. It is not enough 2 tell people to communicate when they don't know how to listen. Let me hit you with 5 quick tips on how to listen!
1). Listen with your EARS. Sometimes when we discuss things as important, passionate and personal as money,kids and sex, while the mate is talking, we are not listening but preparing our argument. We must listen with our ears and shut down the desire the immediately defend our view point. The ears work better when the windpipes are closed.
2). Listen with your MIND. Words come from the speaker's background and perspective. Many times words are based on a point of reference that you may not be aware of. So don't just listen to their words, but listen with your mind, understanding where they came from and what experiences that shape their views.
3). Listen with Humility. Make sure you heard your mate correctly. Repeat back what you heard. Many times couples are angry over what they thought the other meant and not what was intended. Humility is a hearing aid and saves the person the expense the expense of the apology later- trust me I know-lol!!
4). Listen with your Heart.Compassion is a critical part of understanding . It is difficult to love people without understanding them. Love seeks to understand. Listening with your heart will take away your natural propensity to be selfish.
5). Listen with Prayer. During disagreements in relationships many become frustrated because they want to fix what is wrong with their spouse. The only solution that I see is from the manufacturer- Jehovah God and not man himself. Because men and women speak a different language, try asking God to teach you the language of love of the person you are with! I find that people are saying what the other desperately needs to hear, but in a foreign language. I suggest reading the book "Women are Krazee...or do men make them that way" (Don't look for it cuz it is my own book-lol!!) I can't change people in a 5 minute blog reading, but I can start you thinking in a new direction.
I am the listening WarD....