My weekend

Wow it is hard to believe it but its Monday again!! But I must say that I had a long weekend and it was positive for the most part. I lost an aunt to death, but I know she is at peace now. But getting past that, I was able to get my van issues fixed and it only cost me $160. That left me more than enough money to go on my long over due shopping speee at the local dollar store.

I took some time out to think about my life and feelings about love. I sometimes over look human need for love. A question wuz once asked - do you fall in love or with the ideal of being in love? My answer has undoubtedly- neither!! You can not color a thought or taste an emotion. By that I mean, love has its own agenda. You just don't look at someone and say "Hey I am gonna fall in love with them." It is what it is.

Perhaps you get to know a work mate, a person at your place of worship or just meet at the grocery store on a Friday night? From there the curiosity grows like a moth to a flame. The stages I think are "like", "infatuation", "love" and finally "in love". But it is a tricky dance. Little words or actions can completely destroy it all- ya know what hard efforts you put in. So when I say I love someone, I mean it. Like many individuals who have been bruised by love-I am a guarded person and nobody wants to be hurt- or do they?

I am a student of love with a lot to learn. I can only try to please my partner, but at least she will know .......that I am in the class and making good grades...lol...

I am Ward..

Wards Marriage dream in the Fantasy Jungle

"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks to another day of loving.
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home eventide with gratitude, and then sleep with a prayer
For the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."
When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. That is impossible. It is even a disservice to pretend it is possible. Yet that is what most of us demand. We have such little faith in the ebb and flow of life and of love and of relationships.
We leap forward at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb, for we are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanence, on duration, on continuity. But the only continuity possible in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity and in freedom, as dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in creating the same pattern.
Ward(says to wifey)
There was darkness for a long time and then there was light, and that light was you. Your love has given me wings, and our journey begins today. I pledge before this assembled company to be your husband from this day forward. Let us make of our two lives one life. I want you for today, tomorrow, and forever.
Wifey(says to Wardy)
I have dreamed each day.my whole life of having someone as wonderful as you love me the way you do. I give myself to you as your wife, and I promise here to treasure for all of my days the love we celebrate today. Let us bring together our lives and find ourselves anew!

( I dedicate this blog to the women of Pace-Oar. Thank you)

(fast forward 5 years and see this couple on divorce court, lol....)

I am ward....

How to spot a good man

Many people who want to be a part of my book....."Women are crazy or do Men make them that way, often tell me that they now know how to spot a good man. I, being a man, find that fact very interesting for a plethora of reasons. Anyway, this is what I was told.
1). The man who has nice clean shoes on supposedly cares about his appearance because any body can put on a run down pair of kicks and go about life.
2). You can tell a lot about the car a man drives. It has been said that a mid life crisis can result in getting a bright red sports car or a rich man may drive a tan mini van. You don't have to drive a BMW to show you have class!!
3). What type of dwelling place does the man have or desire to have. If he has a tiny one bedroom apartment but its clean, then he respect his space and so should you. If he has pizza crumbs all over the floor and roaches that walk around with footies on may not be the best look for you. (Wardy suggests moving past this dude)
4). Finally the type of woman that the man wants tells you volumes about his character. If he likes strippers, he may be a freak, if he likes quiet women he may be that brother who wants seeks peace and if he wants a lady in the street and freak in the sheets he may be me, lol!
Well I am unsure about this list but I will leave it up to the readers to critique me on the follow up. ((By the way, I hate New Yorkers)).

I am warD!

That is unfair or Why me

Let me share a personal story with you that was very painful for me to experience. It was a few years back when I was working a full and part time job while attending college full time and did I mention being a full time parent of two young daughters!!! I lived in a 2 bedroom apt on Shadeland ave in the ghetto. My whip at the time was a blue mini van. Yes my life was hectic and in constant turmoil to put it mildly.
Here is the thing that hurt my heart. I knew that light was at the end of my tunnel once I got that darn college degree because I promise I was 30 cents from having a quarter back in them days. I had no family in Indianapolis so I had to depend on myself 100%. My apt had no renters insurance because I was suppose to post up on the 3rd floor but I was switched at the last moment during move in time and straight forgot to get the renters protection. But check it, I requested that maintenance come place locks on my windows--ONLY WHEN i WAS AT HOME!!!. Needless to say they came and moved my items out of the apt and then locked the door back. I mean they took my clothes, computer, shoes, barber equipment and even took my bible?? I was so upset because getting robbed is a hopeless feelings. Similar to loosing a loved one in death. There ain't nothing you can do. I wanted to scream to the world, "That is unfair or Why me--- but who really cared besides me. More importantly why shouldn't it have been me.
I mean I did not want to get robbed but I lost material items, I still have my life and kids were not harmed. I just learned that I should have paid a little more coin and have an up graded dwelling spot. It could have been worse or it could have been totally someone else. I choose to hold my head up and keep moving forward and be thankful 4 what I had. It was very hard -but it was the best decision I made during that time. I since got that coveted Business/Communication Bachelors degree, had a new home built and got several nice whips. My point is this....the way situations start out is how they end. Example: If you are yelling at someone from the jump-when yall walk away, you are still yelling. In my case, if I kept holding on to getting robbed, I may still be in the hood screaming Why me, but instead I am writing this blog that you are reading. You feelz me? Besides, you know I loves you. So quit "your" complaining because life happens whether you deserve it or not, Karma don't live on the East side, "BUT" reality has a nice piece of real estate in the game of life with a great big flashy FOR SALE sign in the front yard, dont worry if you can't afford it cause because it has budgets for eeerbody.....

Eye am WARd......

4

Once again another week-end has come and gone but ya boi had to get on the golf course on do his thugg-thizzle! I figured that Tiger Woods is gonna be down for a minute with bum knee so this might be my chance to make it happen-lol!
N-T-Way, I am doing this 2day conference for my job and its very interesting seeing all the people. Monday started out with a priest talking about how he gets paid all this money but gives it all to charity (I guess that means he gets free Steak house burgers from Burger King) and how he use to be in law enforcement and a variety of other fields. He then offered a prayer to God, Allah, Yahweh and whom ever else he could come up with. Well the temperature in the room was about negative 80 below zero so I thought it could not get much worse until the next speaker stepped up to the mic and started talking about how lucky his clients were that he is so educated and how he doesn't tell them how travels to conferences around the world like this to bore the @#*$ out of people like me.......
I am sorry I went off on a tangent again. Let me just say this, The weekend was a strong change from the work day......Ya feels me no doubt.
I am Ward...

The session

I recently met with a group of friends, three guys and three gals and of course the topics quickly migrated toward relationships. I am always fascinated to hear different prospectives on issues when it comes to the sexes.
It seems that women want that romance and men want that sex. Each sydes seems to have very valid points, at the same time I realize that most couples don't spend much time in communication exercises and not nearly enough time spending time (quality alone. Once kids enter into the focus, the whole dating experience has to change or you or your mate will!
I also gathered that women are bigger liars than men. It is almost safe to say that men lie stupidly (if there is such a word). Example, a man may desire to go to the strip club but tell his lady that he is going to Bob's house to vent for a while. The woman on the other hand may say something like " I AM HAVING YOUR BABY"!! Dare I say- The Maury Povich Show????? I think not.....
Don't get it twisted, a lie is a lie, but some lies are bigger and harder to forgive and forget.
I guess for me, time getting to know my mate is crucial, but I understand that life keeps us constantly moving forward or else we get far behind. But still, I implore you, take time to give time to those you like, love or want to love......

Yall know what this is.......I am ward....of kourse....

Wednesday was field service day for me and the girls (a time that we choose 2 talk about the scriptures with folks). We had a great time even though we did not actually go out, we visited a sick sister in Wishard hospital. She was so happy to see friendly faces coming to pay her a surprise visit. My kids were like "why do we have to see sick people". Ah yes, the young people have so many questions, but the intentions are well meaning.
After that we came home and rode our bikes in the hood. That was actually fun because my kids are fascinated by so many things I take for granted. They just had to stop and look at this stray kitten. I obliged and then we were off again to survey the land. I saw people cutting their yards, washing their cars and enjoying life. Yes- today was a good day.
Back home I grabbed a juicy apple or two and we sat in the loft and watched a comedy video. O.k. I know I am a square but hey, it takes all types to make the world go around.

Eye am Da Ward

I guess I really didn't know you at all......

I thought about an old friend today. I knew her for many years and we shared many memories together. In fact we had a tradition of spending every New Years together for at least 5 years. This friend was so special to me that we shared everything together. We laughed, cried, prayed and stayed together. I can honestly say I loved this woman.
Obviously we never did marry for a plethora of reasons,none of which I understood. Perhaps it was timing and at other times it was selfishness on both of our parts. Don't get it twisted, this beauty did get married during our friendship -but it ended abruptly. I still loved her and subconsciously waited for her because I knew that situation would not work.
See my friend had issues with being independent and self sufficient. She needed to have someone to belong to. My boy "thickness" said "a bad relationship beats no relationship". I guess he was right??
Looking back over the years, I guess I lost some tears= time after time I said this time I am gonna win, but another fight and things weren't right and I guess I lost again, so I had to let it go. Wait.....those are the words to a song, my bad, but what the heck it applicable-lol!
My friend, where ever you are, I just wanted you to know that on this day, I thought about you and wanted you to know that I am doing good and I wish you the best too. I am comfortable in my skin and appreciate all the life lessons you taught me. But looking back, I guess I really didn't know you at all......

I be that Ward.....

Must eat fruit

Today was a very busy day at work. I was able to get away and go to Denny's for French Toast and crispy bacon. I went with my co-worker who always knows somebody everywhere we go. Now that I think of it, I am the complete opposite of that, I often go places and I am the stranger. I am cool with that though!

I can't believe this month is half over. I feel like I have a million things to do but not nearly enough time to get er done!!! I decided that since I usually eat once per day that I must eat more fruit to balance my diet. I guess I will go with the cantaloupe or my new favorite-"Georgia peaches". I guess they are the same color.

Yeah I am tired but I just wanted to put something down before I went to sleep.

I am wARd.....

The power book has taught me again

Law 10 says the following:

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.



I am Ward

What Ward Wunders

Today had quite a bit of rain. I ain't tripping because that is money I don't have to pay to keep my yard nice and green- lol. Anyway, I think about issues that don't always have to have an answer but at least deserve to be thought of. Read my list below.

* Why do grand parents spoil the grand kids but they dang near tried to kill the parents when they was kids?
* Is this presidential election about the skin color of a man or who is the best person for the useless job?
*Why is it suppose to be o.k for a woman to change her mind at any given moment? (I guess a contract is a waste of a good tree).
*Why does the person who has no solid points of view seem to always start a silly argument?
*Why did the Jeri curl go out of style?
*How long will Dorita keep fronting like she ain't in love with Eddie's dirty drawls?
*How high will gas prices get?
*Why do people get mad when I tell them that Martin Luther King had 3 women and a wife?
*Where do ducks go at night? (that one was from my daughter)
*Do we work cause its a want or need?
*Why do humans go to the dentist and animals don't...is it an insurance thang?
*If having a baby is so hard- how come women do it rather then men?
*Why do women usually take the man's last name?
*Why do horse have tails?
*Why stay with someone you don't love?

Why do I always end with.....I am ward?

Quit acting old

I recall watching Oprah (Don't act like I am the only Oprah viewer)one day and they had this episode about looking vs. acting your age. It made me think, if I act like an old man, would I start to look like an old man. Hummm. After consulting with the Ms. K, I realized that it just might be more common that I once thought.

I don't think you need to wear your pants sagging down to your knee caps and wear a shirt that is 3 sizes to big. Its more along the lines of living life. Perhaps playing sports with the fellas, swimming with the Mrs or what about staying up past dinner.

Getting a year older or growing a gray hair or two is an honor because it can sometimes represent being a survivor of life or even wizdum? The goal in this instance is to be mature, think like a positive person and just do you.

Now if you can not do any of the above just sit back and grow old and complain about the ever changing weather conditions and do like I do and order a large quantity of vitamin "K".

I bee that Ward dude.....

Last Weekend

OMG!!! If I didn't know better I would swear this past weekend was an extended episode of Hell Date! For starters, my A/C is still not working since this freaking tornado struck my hood. My kids are walking around with big Afros like they are rejects from the Early Commodores try outs in the 70's. In addition to that I am just tired of being tired. I really think I need a vacation. I want to sit on a beach in the South of.....I think I would be happy just chilling in Kokomo with a 2 liter of 7up and four juicy strawberries.

Anyway, I was involved in one of the stupidest arguments of my life this week-end. This situation was so ironic that I can not even talk about it. All I can say is yall just pray for me. I was so frustrated that I opened my window and jumped out. Don't worry I did not get hurt too bad because I only opened up the first floor window! My fall lasted all of 1.5 seconds. (I know you didn't think I was gonna do a real jump...its the thought that counts). You ask what did Wardy learn from this episode-----Sex relives frustration and love (or lack of) causes frustration!

I am glad to say that I got over to Barnes and Nobles and got some mee time in this weekend. I enjoy reading about reality situations. Oh, how could I forget. I also went to the movies to "Don't mess with the Zohan". It was pretty funny, but I hate a movie with a hidden message. Oh well, another 5 days on the grind before I can do me again. By the way, the picture with this blog is a painted ceiling that was placed in the smoke break area-(Shut up Michael, you are still a double dilweed)

I AM WARD

Never Give Up SuckaZ

Micheal Woods once said "If I am intimidated by you, I will talk about you and not necessarily to you". I must admit that I agree with that statement even though I don't feel it applies to my actions. (You know I am perfect, lol). When I look back on my life I am the first to admit that there are things that I could have done differently and yet at the same time I can honestly say that I have really lived.

Would I live my life over as I have done? Of course, because I have learned important life lessons that I hold close to my heart. These are lessons, but not failures, rather learning experiences. I admit somethings I would have rather not learned, but still I have learned and believe me it will be used later, somewhere.

Take for example, last night. I went grocery shopping around 11pm because it was late and I knew I could get in and out. Because I listened to my friend, I went to Meijer and it "was" better than Wal-Mart. Anyway, I left my wallet in the buggie upon leaving-stupid- I know. But I did not realize it until I drove 5 miles back home. I put away the food and strip searched the car to no avil. I went back to Meijer and still no wallet. I then called the store and no wallet. I went home and retraced my steps to no avil. Now what would I, the Ward, do? I knew this was a lesson that I had to learn and get past quickly. I made up my mind that I knew my wallet with all its contents was there waiting for me. I jumped back in my van and searched that lot until I found my wallet! I think I heard that wallet scream "Yeahhh" when I picked it up!!

Even when the days seem dark, never stop living, experiencing, loving, smiling, laughing or enjoying the smell of fresh cut grass. Just live life with a smile!!! When life throws us curve balls we get a choice, we can either enjoy the game or we can run and hide, its our choice how we play the games of live,love and work our choice.

I chose to never give up, find my wallet, finish my advanced college degree and find my soul mate. Tell me what are you gonna do? Hint: Giving up is not an option for us, because You and I are friends.

I aM WaRd

The sweetest joy

There are several topics that I want to discuss today, but most are negative and since I am trying hard to keep a positive state of mind I will digress, lol!! But seriously have you ever fasted or refrained from doing an act for a specified amount of time. Others may have laughed at you or thought you quite odd, but still you pressed onward.

Well that is what I thought about recently. I saw a Muslim brother and sister fasting, I think it may have been what they called Ramadan or something (if you really want to know- you can Google the word sucka) but the sister was second guessing her self about fasting. She wanted to dress like American girls and wear make up and tight jeans. The brotha looked at her and asked if she recalls the feeling the day she is able to end the fast and eat her favorite dessert. She replied that strawberry short cake is her sweetest joy. The brotha explained the because of her being true to her cause and fasting she would experience a joy that others would never know. She looked down and smiled and said she understood.

But how does this apply to us, you wonder. Do I really need to explain this? O.k., here we go. What about the time you attend school when tired, work a job that pays you nothing, stay with a man/woman who know little to nothing about relationships or keep working with your unmotivated kids. Because we know in the end, if we don't tire out, we 2 will reap the sweetest joy that we could never know if we give up.
So what ever your albatross may be, don't give up because if you are reading this I know you are in my circle and I believe in you. Sucka, don't let me down. Ay-ight?

EYE AM WARD

Tornado

By now many of you have heard that a tornado touched down on the East syde of Indianapolis. Yes it was bad! I saw object flying in the air and roofs flying off houses. Cars were damaged, including 2 of mine. The funny thing about is I heard the train sound that people often mention prior to a strike. Its something about a big funnel ripping through your hood to make you fear your creator and be thankful for all the positives in your life.

My master bedroom has cracked walls and my roof has a few holes, but fails in comparisons to my next door neighbors houses. Notice the pictures above. Fear not my faithful readers, I have full house and auto insurance, so I will be alright.

I did learn something about human nature from this ordeal. My hood looks like New Orleans a few years back and few people were out tring to help our neighbors, but we have a steady steam on lookers driving around my cul-de-sac just starring and pointing. I understand people want to look and all but would it hurt to just stop and pick up one piece of trash and give the "its alright" for encouragement.

Nevertheless, many people lost quite a bit from this, but I am unsure if any deaths occurred because at this time I have no cable, phone or Internet. Still I rise! Thank you to all my friends who called and came to check on my and minz....

Eye yam WARd!