Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Wait......did you say Bald Head or Bald Fade?





Is it me or have you ever had an experience that you thought only happened in the movies? Anywho, this is my story. The other day, I decided that my hair was at the point of needing to be faded up to keep me at my maximum freshness! Sure I am a licensed barber in the state of Indiana, but sometimes I don't feel like cutting my own her, thus I must decide which of my fellow barber brethren must I entrust with my locks! On this particular day Wardy decided to push it down to the local barber college and get that $5 dollar hollar.
I drive on down and quickly had to rush inside because an old lady pulled in behind me with 4 kids who clearly needed a fade more than I did, but my time is valuable right? So I am inside waiting for the next open barber to call my name, which finally happened! The cool young white brother with more tattoos than I think is actually legal greeted me and told me to have a seat in his chair! He needed to finish sweeping the floor before he gave me the most memorable hair cut of my life.
Looking back, I should have gave one of the little boys my spot when I realized his barber chair would not lock in position. I had to balance my self and try not to move to much. My back was killing me, I tell ya. Dude said, he just realized his chair was broke earlier that day (now I am thinking why didn't he switch to a new chair, but heck its a $5 dollar fade, so I dealt with it). So dude, now asks me what cut would I like today? I said and I quote" I would like a bald fade and light on the top". Dude said o.k. let me heat this water up then. I thought it was strange, but I figured he wanted to heat the towel up to give me a sharp line up. So he starts to cut my hair as the water was running and he wasn't following the normal pattern that barbers follow for a bald fade. Next, I over her the barber next to my barber ask him is he able to straight razor  "me" bald. Dude said, naaaaah, I am gonna use the hot towel then use the liners!!!!!! I then had to speak up. I said, excuse me, but how low are dropping my top? He said, what do you mean my dude? I again, said "how low are you going to cut my top"? He again asked what do you mean? I thought he was joking, but I said my hair for the bald fade? He quickly turned beat red, and said excuse me and disappeared. He then showed up with the barber instructor and they were whispering behind me about my hair.
Of course, I had my glasses off, which meant I couldn't hear good ( don't ask- just keep living my pain with me sucka) but the instructor said, "Sir, I am gonna give you all your $$$ back because the student barber should have took you to the picture board and pointed to the picture of what you wanted because when you said bald fade, he thought you said BALD HEAD!!!!!!!
Omg, this dude has gave ""Wardy"" the Michael Jordan minus the money.
I told the barber that it wasn't no biggie because it was only hair and it would grow back ( hopefully). Actually, dude was more upset that I was. He began telling me how great a fade master he is and he was sorry he didn't hear me. Now everyone in the shop is looking at me like I am the last black man who didn't get shot by the police. I did the walk of shame out of the shop and ran like that dude on Fridays who got knocked out by Debow, to my cry.
Anyway, I guess I will be alright in a few weeks. I have a few hats, shoe polish, doo rags and PTO time at my job!
I am WarD......

No comments:

Men have feelings too!

I often hear quotes like "Happy wife-Happy life or I have to ask the Mrs. or my wife is always nagging me. I understand that no re...