My brother in law once told me that a parent’s job is to be the parent and not their friend! Honestly he is not the only person to have said that to me before. But like him and the others, I strongly disagree with that line of thought. Perhaps it is my experiences that I base my perspective up or maybe because it sounds a little harsh. When you look at the picture that I choose for this entry, what do you think about the way the kids are looking as the Dad ( or maybe he is the boyfriend trying to get brownie points-lol) is reading the book? I really feel that you MUST be your child's friend in 2013 and moving 4 ward.
I can recall at least 2 jobs that I work and saw the results of parents being or should I say "Not beinG" the friend. I worked at the Juvenile Justice Center and as a licensed Educator for the state of Indiana. What stood out the most to me are how most of the young people I met were followers rather than being leaders. If the popular people on TV. or school wore a certain outfit, you better believe the copy cats would have it by the end of that following day. Of course, I realize that the greatest form of respect is simply by imitating, heck look at your homeboi -Jesus! People been trying to walk across water for year-lol!!!In the case of youngsters, it all about fitting in or trying to? But (((why))) is my question??????
This is where I feel a parental influence is not only needed, but its demanded if you plan on raising a positive child! Sure many will say that being the kids friend is equivalent to allow the kid make his or her own decision on everything they encounter minus the wisdom and experience of the parent. That is exactly what I don't mean. Consider if the parent were to talk to his kid about their day and vice versa over a nice meal with the television off. Consider the parent reading alongside the child while he reads his or her school work. Consider if the parent played and prayed with the kid. Consider if the parent shows his kid that he loved him rather than just saying it occasionally! With any relationship, there exists boundaries that should not be crossed without consequences. A husband and wife are considered one, but the scriptures say that the man is the head of the house and the wife is his compliment, who is in subjection to him, yet they can have a loving relationship, but at the end of the day- the man gets the final say so. Again, that is the way the creator said it should work, but know how the world is!
Likewise with the parent and child relationship, both can respect each other but the parent is the responsible one and will be followed in order to be successful. Peep this thought: Anyone can be obedient to the person taking the lead, but being in subjection to that one means doing what they request when you don't want to or agree. How many people do you see arguing with their bosses'? If you have, how did it end up? Exactly! It’s all about respect.
Example time......If a parent holds on to a child like a tightly held spring, the pressure builds up. Once a chance to be free is presented, the tight spring with fling off into outer space (other words the preachers kids will be off-da-chainz), and if the parent don't put any pressure on the spring (you get Will Smith's kids-Google them-lol). A good parent will start out with the tight pressure and slowly release it as the kid gets older and more responsible thus allowing the spring to release naturally! Isn't it like that at your job, as your skills grew, so did your confidence and responsibilities. Look at you now, doing the dang thang with your eyes closed! You go boy/Gurrrrrl!
In closing, a parent"should be the child's friend" ( Notice, I didn't say best friend) and he can get other friends his age as well, but the people he trusts and imamates the most, should be the parent’s good example!Open the lines of communication and keep the jails from being so packed. Ya feelz me? Remember this point if you don't get anything else from this posting.......Anybody can tell you how to do something, but a real friend will "show" you!
I am Ward....
1 comment:
I concur Ward. My experiences with being my children's(now young adults)friend has netted me a gateway into most, if not all of what they're up to. No secrets, just like a friend. They know their roles and mine; so even throughout this "friendship", they have never disregarded nor disrespected me.
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