What does Respect mean 2 you?

Does it hurt your feelings when someone yells at you? Do you get upset if no one wants to hear your point of view on the current topic at hand? What if your friends just walk in your home and start to eat all of your food in your refrigerator with out asking? Hummm, yes respect means many things to many people, but it has no stronger meaning to the individual that is being touched by it at the moment.
Case N point! Jesus was quoted in the Scriptures at John 13:34 as speaking on washing the disciples feet! (You can read it for your self..) The point he was making is that no one is greater than the next person in all aspects of life. With that being said let me bring the blog full circle.
Real Talk: It has often been said that people tend to hurt the people closest to us. Perhaps it is due to the familiarity or lack of respect. I am sure most of us have those times when we can tell a loved one something that they don't really want to hear such as "You look terrible in that dress or those shoes are looking really shabby on your feet". Immediately the person goes on the defense about your words. Let us just assume that you meant no harm other than speaking the truth from your perspective. Now you both are upset and second guessing what could have been done differently. But wait, along comes an out sider who says the exact same things you just said and the loved one accepts it with a smile and a chuckle as they go and remedy the situation just as the outsider suggested!!!! Don't that just make you want to bust a vein in your pinky toe?
Referring back to Jesus example of washing feet! He again helped me to see that if I respect everyone as much as Jesus respected others and their views, my arguing time would obviously non-existent. True he is perfect, but his example is attainable. This is application for Wardy to do: The next time I am caught in the paradox of the double standard matrix, I am gonna remain calm and do what Jesus did and just be cool and lead by example. Now if I fail, at least I know I tried. Ya heard ya boi.
Eye am Ward.......

Da octo mom

Nadya Suleman is a 33 year old Angielee wanna be. I get that! Look at the pictures to the left. I guess the majority of people do not want to look thin like super models and sexy like someone on t.v.??? Really it is common for people to want to look like their worldly idle. In fact, one day I was trying to enjoy a meal at Golden Corral when the Elvis impersonator (It may have been the real dude for all I know) gets up and starts to sing love me tender. Hummm, need I say more. Anyway, the octo mom has been getting madd attention lately for having all those kids. She can't go to the gas station with out hearing people scream "Its our tax money" and other obscene words. I heard them on the news this mourning talking about how does she afford to get her nails done while on welfare?
This is my thoughts on the matter. It is her life and she can live it anyway she wants to. The eventuality is between her and her God. I find it ironic that she gets all this media and public attention, but the big 3 auto makers are going bankrupt for mismanaging funds. Also, the banking industry of America is in shambles for the exact same reason. 700 billion dollars later, they get another swing at the money ball. Which of these 3 situations carries the most weight? Judging from t.v., looking from the outside, I was say that Nadya is the worst, but in reality where I live at......I recall my grandmother having 16 kids and all her sisters did too. It wasn't an issue back in the days, so why is it an issue now? Food 4 thought.
I gotta go see what they saying about ole girl on t.v. now. I will holla back...

WarD...

Why he can't love her....a clients view point

I talked with Mr.Drawn at great length, but he proudly stood his ground. So I just asked him to talk or ramble about whatever was on his mind about her? I explained that by doing this he will be able to free his mind and find what else is in his head that he may not have been aware of! So he agreed and this is what he said....
I recall when I first met her, I wasn't even looking for a new situation. I was in a volatile relationship and desperately trying to run from it. So I was hesitant to get to know her. She was persistent and said all the right things that made me look twice at her! I realized that she had all the qualities I needed in a woman. She was spiritual, hard working, patient with people, long hair and soft spoken. I had to pursue this at least for entertainment purposes."
We chatted on the phone from time to time and soon began spending quite a bit of time together. I guess she became my best friend. The thing that attracted me the most was her honesty. I have long felt that if someone can be open about small things, then larger issues are no different. Well, time went by and the people we once were--we were no longer. The communication left and silence moved in, with his cousin called tit for tat! I was just perplexed at the changes we went through. I guess I did not expect perfection, I just wanted the grow together and never apart. I learned that I wasn't a good mate for her either. I did not know how to forgive being lied to on so many other little things. I thought .....well just say I thought wrong. For better or worse, huh? He began to look really sadd and said he was ready to end this session. I, being his counselor, was at a loss of encouragement, but still knew I had to say something for his $125 per hour! So I simply asked him this...... "What could it take to right this situation if at all possible?" He just looked right through me and said "Next week on that one Dr. Wardy, I must ponder that deep question"! How can I tell this dude that he is really saying he checked out emotionally a long time ago?
To be continued....
I am the black Dr. Phil-Adulla-Jenkins-Wineberry Jr....aka...Ward..

Da fight

O.k. I am sure everyone has heard at least a million times about the Chris Brown and Rhianna fight. I heard certain radio stations say they are suspending playing Chris Brown's music and people even like Tom Joyner saying things like he hope's that his career is over to teach him and other people well deserved lessons.
Well this alleged crime is really unfortunate for all involved and especially all the people all up in this young couple's business. I think they are both 21 years young. Of course, I do not agree with people hitting each other, but I also think that some attention needs to be given to the solutions of domestic abuse situations. I am sure that when it is all said and done, we will see that she is the one who actually threw the first blows. I am a firm believer in men not hitting women, but also women not hitting men. Further more since these situations are common, how come we don't have mandatory classes in High School about this. I guess that might be tooo much like prevention. Back to the issue, R.Kelly went through a rough patch and he was quickly accepted back by the public. I am sure Chris will be too. The world loves its stars. When you are in the spot light, everything you do is on a larger scale. I know many couples are out there fighting. So my advice is to be proactive rather than re-active!

holding grudges

Finally got a chance to sit down and watch a little boob tube (that is T.V. for you younger people)action. Turned to a show called High School Reunion. Its basically about the class of 1988 getN back together and doing a reality show. The ugly ducking-ling is now fine (Latino) and the head cheer leader is old and divorced and her ex-husband/class mate is there digging on the hot Latino. Not surprising she was jealous. One thing that caught my attention was the fact that one girl held a grudge with a class mate over 21 years. I was thinking, doesn't she know that when someone holds on to the past (U) are actually robbing yourself of happiness? Besides the grudgee is probably unaware of your feelings or probably doesn't even care at this point! And the ladder proved to be true.
But I can not be to hard on holding grudges, because I have been known to kinda-sorta be like that, but only since I have been older. I was told the term is now called Tit 4 Tat. That is where you twist the golden rule of the Bible and do unto others as they have done to you. I don't like being that way because I now see that life is short and I would hate for the last thing that I do --is to be mad at someone. My solution for holding grudges now is simply to keep it moving on issues that I can not change and focus more attention on the things I can make a difference with. Sure it is not always that cut and dry, but all I can do is my best. Think about this, we have two types of energies that we can use. Usually we give our best or positive energy on those people who are most important to us and the less than positive energy with people we either tolerate or think less of. Surprisingly, I find that most people tend to be much nicer to people that they work with rather than the people they live with. Now that is the beginnings of a real grudge-lol!!
They say it takes all kinds to make up the world. I just hope that we follow those wise words of the super speaker Rodney King....."Can't we all just get along?" (Don't hate on him because he is clean and sober now- I hope.....
I ain't mad at you.....Ward

Is my decesion the best decesion

Well let me start by saying how much I enjoyed the 2009 Chicago car show! I saw some of the tightest rides on the road up there. The difference between the Indy car show vs. Chicago is comparable to apples and bricks-lol! I think I am going back next year.
Anyway, found the Baxter YMCA and was suprised at how big and friendly it was. The shocker came when I found out that they have not one basketball gym, but two HUGE areas, and it was me and this other guy starring each other down. Needless to say I had to destroy his hopes of ever making it to the Special Olympics. People, it had to be done!
Now on to my thoughts 4 today! I was thinking about what other people feel and would I make the same choices that others have made and will make if the world was upsyde down. Check it, my nephew is ready to get his own spot. I think he is ready, but I am sure he has to be concerned about the unknown. I mean we are in a recession and he has signed a year lease to do the dang thang. He is only 19 but now-a-days that's the new 29, so I am sure he will learn if nothing else. Go get em bombaquat!

I have a friend who has a teenage son who has taken her through the ringer and then some. It make me think about the cycle of repetition. You know how some people have kids at 16 and then their kids have a baby young and so on down the line. How does the cycle stop. I think communication and determination have got to make an appearance. Talk to your kids and give them tough love, trust me-they will thank you later!

Finally, I have been thinking about going to Hollywood. If not to stay, just to go out there and do my stand up one time, one day-- my way. I mean I have some time for now and I got jokes on my mind and my mind on being funny. Ya know sometimes, You just gotta walk out on skills, faith and confidence. Is my decesion the best decesion, I don't know. But I do know that if I don't take this chance, I may be missing my calling.
I am Ward...wanna hear a joke?

2009 Chicago car show

I see I must get my get my car game hustle up. See what I saw from my digital camera's I!
Wardy

Can you be alone in a crowded room?

Have you ever been around a group of people whom you did not know and you suddenly felt alone, ya know like that first day of a new school when you were a kid? What about being in a relationship with someone who does not understand you or does not have a clue about your needs? From what people tell me that isn't much worse than living with a stranger. I mean you see the person but you squint your eyes and look at them when they speak because it almost sounds like a foreign language-! I am just kidding, but real talk, many couples fail to put their situation in perspective.
Think about it. The normal day goes like this, get up from sleep, wash up (I choose to shower daily, but you do what works for you Mr. Nasty Man/Woman)get your coffee/hot co-co and rush to work and be there all day, come home to house work or family issues, cooking dinner, ironing clothes for the next day, and maybe you watch the news or a t.v. show and back to sleep! What about your mate, did you think to ask how was there day, is there something I can help you do or can we just freaking talk about nothing for 10 minutes. Nope, it don't happen.
My single friends out there, you don't have it no better. Coming home to four walls and silence or several other grown ups who act like kids! You just want the good life of someone to love you because you know what to do. Isn't it funny how opposite people attract each other. The girl with the good job loves the thug who is crazy and jealous! The nice looking brother is with the fat chick with the ghetto perm.
I think sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. If we were wise we would just do what it takes to make ourselves happy, but it is so easy to stay stuck here and complaining...or is it? I challenge you to go out today and do one thing that makes you happy. If its buying your self a rose, reading a book or taking a long shower, just do it! I know I am. I only got one life to live and darn it-as the world turns, I find myself young and restless-lol, you get my point....
I be that ward guy........

I feel good

2 day it was almost 60 degrees in Napptown and it was very sunny. So I decided to do something different than the day before. I decided to just be free and think like a kid, within limits. So after dropping my girls off at school, I came home and did some light cleaning and then went to the grocery store. While there I observed the other shoppers with keen interest. I was not absorbed in my mission to get in and out. I noticed how the old lady took her time picking the correct piece of fruit, I saw the old man riding the electric car mean mugging everyone and everything in sight. I saw the check out girls talking about plans for that night. I realized then how much kids can learn from just being observant.
I came back home and walked to the lake behind my house and skipped a few rocks across the water and then I looked up at the bright shinning sun that warmed my face, and I smiled inside. Today was the best day of my life. I did not care about quotas, returning phone calls or the latest memo! I was just free and it felt good. I started thinking no wonder kids laugh and play all the time, they accept life for what it is. If they don't have it, they work with what they have. Such wonderful and simple logic.
I eventually went back inside and took a well deserved nap and then went to pick up my girls from school. When I saw them I made sure to talk on their level. We talked about our favorite songs and what happened at school. It was fun. Now I am watching that Brad Pitt movie about Benjamin Buttons and writing this blog. Its a good movie, check for it! Well today was a good and I still feel good. Oh yeah, HI friend!.
I be Ward-day-cious

With that being said.....

No matter what happens to people in the course of daily life- we all have choices. We can complain about it and tell anyone who will listen or we can chalk it up to a life changing lesson that will benefit you in the future. My moment came recently when I was let go from a job that I never wanted in the first place. You may be wondering why take it? Well this is where the lesson comes into play. I was told that I would be getting and I quote " WAAAAAAYYYY more money than a case manager and doing less work", so I thought about it but failed to get this information in writing and reluctantly accepted. Trust me...this will never happen again. I had to find out the hard way that business is business and friendships are for after work. Then again- you can be the one person in the office that gets on many things wrong and anger your client base and keep a job because you work for coins????
I have never been good at getting lied to especially when you know that I know you are lying to me-lol! But if it works for you then by all means work it!!
I know I am far from perfect and never claim to be, but spending a majority of my working life in management I think I earned the right to say this: If you want to have happy productive employees 1). Respect them by giving them what they need for work 2). Let your yes mean yes and leave the game playing to the kids 3)Reward the team and not individuals, because nobody can do it alone ask Mr.Barack how he got in office with no help and finally 4). What goes around** comes back around. That is not meant to be negative- just very honest!
I am enjoying not working for a while and plan to learn some new skills to help me be the best worker I can in the future but amazingly I have two offers right now!! I look forward to leading a team again and I thank everyone that taught me my life learning lessons.
I be that wardy guy!!

Get tickled or slapped, but you must learn

We can become so emotionally charged by a person that we allow ourselves to be intimate before we know who the person really is. When we give our bodies to another being, we are giving them a piece of our souls. We might want to take the time to find out if they deserve it. Sexual activity is not the only way to let someone know we like them. Sharing information, supporting each other's goals, giving of our time and energy without expectations sends a much stronger message than sex. we must take time to know the other person; understand what they want, where they are going and figure out if we want to be in the same place. When we let down our hair too early in the game (before marriage) we are apt to end up with a messed up head...ya heard me!!!!!

Author--- Mary Sarton

I be that ward dude trying to tickle you....

Race iz ummm?

Everyone pretty much knows that this is 2009, right? Things today are better for people than it was in the past and everything is cooler than the other side of the pillow. Finally equality is a reality for America! We have the first recognized black President and things can only get better from this moment forward!!!
Well I hate to bust your bubble (really I don't mind that much) but double standards and racism is alive and growing into a full grown man. Let give a few examples and you ponder them and think to yourselves what the deal is.
Micheal Phelps gets a DUI back in the day and said he was immature, now he gets busted for smoking that sticky green on a college campus and says "oops my bad, I was immature"!. Michael Vick gets caught up with dog fighting charges on property that he never lived at but was the owner, he went to jail....humm. When white people take money from a job its called embezzling, but when a minority does the same thing why is it called stealing? I could give actual examples but my focus is on racism in general.
Personally I went to Fazoli's restaurant last night to get some Lasagna and salad. I get in the line and wait, place my order and wait some more. Finally the lady in front got her order and she was given at least 9 bread sticks-fresh from the oven. I immediately thought to myself, here we go. What do you know, here comes Wardy's order along with 2 bread sticks!! I asked could I have the same amount as the last lady and the lady got an attitude and gave me 2 extra (the cold one's). Sure this is nothing major, but is it a difference? I thought since Obama is in the office that everything is better for the black man? What the Freak! Then again I was on the South syde!
Finally, if you have ever watched the 11pm news and see a burning building or a crime scene, I know you are hoping like I do-- that they don't skip over all the articulate speaking "Colored Folk" for an eye witness account!! Who am I kidding, you know they are going to the toothless, unshaven, unshowered but studdering homeless dude to get his version of why the situation occurred and his views on politics. Never fails does it. All Ward is saying to you is that racism is not gone, it was just immature, but now its a grown up!

I am Ward

Marriage advice for that tazz

Never take the love of your wife for granted. Reassure her of your continuing love. Jesus set an example for Christian husbands in the way he treated the Christian congregation. He was gentle, kind, and forgiving—even when his followers repeatedly manifested negative traits. Jesus could therefore say to others: “Come to me, . . . for I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls.” In imitation of Jesus, a Christian husband treats his wife in the same way that Jesus treated the congregation. A man who truly cherishes his wife, showing this in word and deed, will be a source of genuine refreshment to her. Now this is not an easy task for the average brutha but sista's you all can make this easier for us. Realize that we are human first and bound to make some errors, be soft spoken and keep your hair and body tight!!! Ay-ight!

Super Christianz

Is it me or do you hate it when you run in2 them super Christians? I mean you say hello and how are you and they say "Blessed" or just serving the Lord and then look at you! I thought Christians walked by faith and not by sight? Anyway, I am not hating on anyone for having a relationship with God, but I seem to run in 2 the those who take it to the next level. Shoot I heard one woman say how she went to the grocery store with the lord and got some tuna fish? I wonder what brand of tuna does the creator enjoy....I personally prefer chicken of the sea, but then again that is just me!
What about the brotha who has on 3 or 4 iced out crosses on his neck? He must really be active in his religion right? The ironic thing occurs most often when you ask these super Christians about the Bible. I am not even gonna include the typical responses I have gotten-lol. But I will say this, a young lady (alright older woman) came to my job to register people to get free foot washes and then new shoes from her church. I asked did she knew the origins of foot washing since she was promoting it. She replied that she has no idea, and asked me if I knew because she is just following what her Pastor said to do. I just told her I would have to look into it. I figured that was something she needed to do on her own, ya feels me!
From my perspective, I would like to see more Bible reading and less movement of the uninformed lips service
I aint that dude...but I am Ward