“I just can’t take it anymore!”
Have you ever heard people say that about their marriage? If you are married (or now a days- been dating someone for double digits years), have you at some time had a similar feeling?
THOUSANDS of couples began married life in the warm glow of love—or in the heat of passion—and expected happiness to follow. “But by the time they seek help, they have already reached the depths of despair,” in my opinion. “They have become disillusioned with their partner, with marriage, with love, and sometimes even with life.” Many of those couples have little more in common than a marriage certificate and the dwelling they share. I know we often attack the male about what he is doing wrong considering he is the head of the house, but today let us focus on 4 typical types of females that destroy relationships. ((* The women seldom realize that this is them on purpose.))
1. A Dismissive Woman (Definition = feeling or showing that something is unworthy of consideration.)
A dismissive woman devalues or diminishes her man's preferences, opinions or desires. Sometimes you’ll hear a dismissive woman turning the conversation back to herself, (“Yes, but what about my needs?”) or failing to really consider the desire (“That’s just not practical/realistic/happening in this lifetime.”) or even shaming the need (“Oh, for heaven’s sake, you’re not one of the children! Grow up.”).
Why is this “bad”? When a woman unilaterally dismisses her partner’s need or preference, her husband feels rejected, unloved and unimportant. He may not say it, but he feels it. Plain and simple, it hurts. Overtime its not surprising to see the men pull further and further away from the love or the relationship all together.
Does this mean a wife should be at her husband’s beck and call, ready to fulfill every desire? Absolutely not! It does mean, though, that she genuinely cares about her partner’s feelings and wants to meet his needs when she can. Men really enjoy women that support his decisions as the family head in a loving way!!!
2. An Undependable Woman (Definition= not trustworthy or reliable)
The first description of an excellent wife is listed at Proverbs chapter 31:11 (NWT) "Her husband trusts her from his heart,And he lacks nothing of value." The NIV says “Her husband has full confidence in her.” Oweee, I felt a chill run down my spine when I typed that verse!
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that if a good wife is trustworthy, a bad wife isn’t.
If you’re considering marrying a woman whose integrity you question, let me offer you a friendly piece of advice: RUN, don't walk sucka!!!
A dependable woman can be trusted to be faithful to her man, responsible in her decisions, and wise with their children or step children. She’ll hang on with you through the tough times and hold on to you in the good. She’s honest and she’s honorable. She doesn’t withhold the truth; she upholds the truth. Even in small matter (no double talking or saying this and saying later that she meant something else!! You are not a mind reader but a person who can hear with you say. This type of woman enriches the life of everyone around her—most of all, her husband!!!!!
3. A Disrespectful Woman ( You already know this woman)
Disrespect doesn’t always come in the form of words. It can come with a look: eye rolling, a shaking head, or a deep sigh (especially when a question is asked that she doesn't want to answer). It can be an attempt to control, to mother or to demean a husband. These actions send the same message: You’re an idiot. I don’t respect you.
God gives only one command directed to wives: “ the wife should have deep respect for her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33). In healthy, life-giving marriages, wives respect their husbands and husbands love their wives. God’s plan is a win for both sides.
Are some men are easier to respect than others? That's obvious sucka. But every healthy relationship, both inside and outside of marriage—every single one—is built on the foundation of respect. Without respect relationships crumble.
4. A Discouraging Woman (causing someone to lose confidence or enthusiasm; depressing).
There are two relational truths many women fail to understand:
Truth 1: At the heart of every good man is the desire to please his wife.
Truth 2: It’s very challenging, at best, to stay emotionally, physically and spiritually connected to a person who consistently makes you feel discouraged… especially if that person is your wife.
This is why the discouraging wife can be so lethal to a life-giving marriage. The discouraging woman makes her man feel like he can’t do or say anything right, no matter how hard he tries. In the inner recess of her mind she’s thinks I would like him more if he… Her unspoken goal is change this sucka. She might use criticism or smerks when a reality tv show is on with someone acting like she does (not the healthy, constructive type). She may complain often. She may name call, nitpick, or try and control him by playing inch high private eye on his electronic devices. No matter how her discouragement manifests itself, the outcome is the same: Her husband usually feels worse in her presence than better. (Notice Ephesians 4:29 = Let a rotten word not come out of your mouth, but only what is good for building up as the need may be, to impart what is beneficial to the hearers)
This isn’t to say a wife can’t disagree or express disappointment. It doesn’t mean wives can’t have hard conversations. It does mean, though, that we learn the art of having hard conversations without being hard-heated.
*Please note that there are many women out here who are dearly loved by their men. Those are the one's who learn their role and encourage their men to be better with trust in the LORD and love.
I am Ward....
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