Cognitive Dissonance at its finest.....

     Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong (too strong if you ask me). When they are presented with evidence that works against that believe the new evidence cannot be accepted! It would crate a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, called COGNITIVE DISSONANCE. And because it is to important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn't fit in with the core belief.
      I have seen men leave 5-10 year relationships, turn around and get married to a woman he's known for 6 months. And does all the things he ex always begged him to do. (Word of advice: stop preaching to these men-"they hear you!") It is this writers opinion that these men are never going to be the man that these particular women need because they are not the women that these men really want to be with. People change for who they want to be with period....... 
      It is not uncommon for a woman to date a man for several years and never figure what the last two paragraphs have shown. If you are not 1 of them, you undoubtedly heard of them on social media. They can be found posting things like "no good men left in my city" or "God don't like dirty" or "Karma is a.....well you get the point! Could it be that these women are really victims of loves games or were they just in too deep with cognitive dissonance? 
      Don't get it twisted, cognitive dissonance goes in to a myriad of areas of life with its many followers. Have you noticed how Donald Trump has followers who this dude is really for them and their families. I do not get involved with politics because the Bible makes it clear to avoid the entire genre of lies, but the average person with a 3rd grade education can see what his agenda (and other people of the politics) is about, yet here we are!
       How about one more? Society believes that if a person goes to a restaurant to eat, that he/she should  tip the server because the owner of said business pays the staff $2.15 per hour. Of course, the staff has to support a family of 8 and three dogs and two cats of that money, so its imperative that the customer pays the tip! They owner who obviously has no money goes to the extent of having tip amounts printed on the bottom of the receipt for the customers convince. Here is the hard truth my friend. The world is an unfair cold place where people of different colors and economic backgrounds are treated badly. So it is foolish to think a black person (especially a man) will get the same tip as someone white! But we are always encouraged to tip the poor servers right? The best thing to do would include paying with wait staff a decent way with benefits and forbid tipping. Studies had shown that the server will be better on both ends, but then again who am I to try to change the minds of people who have strongly entrenched views.

I am WarD.......

The easy way to loose that fat on your body

Are you ready to finally lose the weight you have been looking to lose for who knows how long? It doesn’t have to require much you know. Little changes along the way will result in big changes in the long run.
Whether it’s 15 pounds or 50 pounds here are a few ways to lose weight without even trying too hard:
1. Walk. Sounds simple enough, right? This is probably the easiest exercise EVER. Even if you think you already walk plenty, chances are you could always do more. There are so many devices now that can record your steps throughout the day, from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed. Even apps for your phone can do it, too. Ways to walk more include not parking as close to your destination, taking the stairs, or just walking around the block after dinner.
2. Eat more color. Choosing more colorful fruits and vegetables can be enough to help you lose weight. The next time you do your grocery shopping, take longer than usual in the produce section. Explore the different colors, smells and textures you find there. Who knows what you’ll come across.
3. Drink more water. Do you know that often times when you’re hungry you’re actually just thirsty? Simply staying hydrated can help you feel full, and prevent you from splurging on that candy bar you’ve been eyeing in the vending machine down the hall.
4. Keep a food diary. It may sound time consuming, but it works. Writing down all the foods you eat throughout the day definitely draws attention to your eating habits.  It helps make you more aware of what you’re eating. On a subconscious level, you will eventually begin to recognize poor eating habits and negative patterns that may be causing you to gain weight.
5. Take your sauces on the side. We all like condiments, sauces, and dressings, but sometimes they end up slathered all over our food. Even salad dressing can add countless calories to an otherwise healthy salad. So, next time you want to have some sauce, dressing, or any other condiment, just add it on the side and lightly dip your food in.
6. Limit your alcohol intake. Many studies have shown that low to moderate amounts of red wine can actually be good for your cardiovascular system. But, did you know that too much alcohol can actually contribute to those extra calories that cause you to gain weight? One gram of alcohol accounts for 7 calories as oppose to only 4 for protein and carbohydrates. You do the math.
7. Choose the right kinds of beverages. Finally, you started eating the right foods, but you’re still drinking beverages that have a high amount of processed ingredients, such as high fructose corn syrup. These additives will add unnecessary calories to your day. If you must have that sugary drink, just do it in moderation.
8. Choose your fats wisely. The good news is we need fat in our diets. The bad news is most of the time the wrong kind is consumed. Cutting out saturated & trans fats is one of the most effective ways to cut calories from your diet and keep your cholesterol low.
9. Get plenty of sleep. Research suggests a link between how much people sleep and how much they weigh. In general, children and adults who get too little sleep tend to weigh more than those who get enough sleep. If you’re sleep deprived you may be too tired to exercise or simply eat more because you’re awake longer. Lack of sleep also disrupts the balance of key hormones that control the appetite, so sleep deprived individuals may be hungrier than those who aren’t.
RP AK
I am WarD...

Do not correct a fool....

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to impart some knowledge to some young men in my community in the areas of  job searching and networking for the modern man. I was really excited because I enjoy teaching, especially when I have some information that can and should change their lives! The event started out great but quickly went down hill from there. I began with the usual ice breaker consisting of your name and one unique thing about yourself. Seems simple enough, right??? WRONG!!!!
The first of 3 men said that there is nothing interesting about themselves. Then one went further and told me how the white man has been holding him back and not allowing him to feed his family because he forced to be a drug deal and he subsequently caught a drug case. This young man who was sitting so far in the back of the room that I almost forgot he was there, went on about how he does not need to interview well to get a job because he is a good worker and when the time is right he  will do what is needed to be successful in this troubled world. I asked him was that what was like how Allen Iverson (the former NBA STAR) mentioned with the famous "Its just practice speech"??? He did not seem to get my point, which was practice is 90% of what successful people do and 10% is the finished product we show to the public.
I was taken back just a little because I wanted to keep this event light and fun but the mood of the room was changing and I knew this could not be good! So I inquired deeper into the man's perspective before I tried give him some obviously unwanted encouragement! I asked the man (student) what did he think about people like Harriet Tubman who over came a series of health issues to help many black people escape slavery against tremendous odds? I mentioned about former slaves who became millionaires against even greater odds??? Do you know this strong willed person had the nerve to tell me that he has never read that in any history book and does not know how he feels about those people. I am unsure if  he could actually read when you think about it, but I understand he didn't know what he doesn't know-right? A man is not what he thinks, rather a man is "What he thinks"....is what he is (deep right- lol)
I was trying to help the man to see that he could over come any obstacle if he gets focuses and keep moving forward but I realized that sometimes, its easier to trick someone further than trying to convince them that they have been tricked......Mark Twain.
I understand that he is looking thru the lens of his eyes which is very different from perspectives- I get it but I can't accept it. I mean how can a person live in America during 2018 and not do something for self. No one ever said life would be easy but sometimes, all a person needs is a chance or the ability to create an opportunity. I think of people like Madam CJ Walker, she had an ideal and acted upon it and we know the outcome (millionaire at a time when it seemed impossible).  Look at Ray Charles, the man went blind at age 6 but his mother never let him forget that he was blind and not dumb or without imagination. He believed his mothers inspirational words about him and made it despite his afflictions. I just don't like excuses or hearing someone say "I DON'T KNOW" as an answer to any question. Heck, we got the freaking internet and free internet at most places.
Any-who, I got mad at myself because I wanted this group to want it like I wanted it for them!!! I think people get too comfortable be broke and miserable. They do what others around them do (talk about the problem and rarely have a solution) nothing positive. If ever anyone is the smartest person in their group, they should get new friends to allow continued growth!
I think I am going to look at better ways to reach people that I am trying to help. I felt less than effective yesterday and I do not want to feel that way again, if I can help it. I understand very well that some individuals will always be poor and under educated, but its a choice! Others will find a way to do what they have to and a small number will overcome the seemingly impossible and change their families situation. I found a few reasons why some can have a less than positive view about their situations. I will explore each of these at a later time.
LACK of 1) Purpose-Goal or Aim 2). Ambition 3) Negative Mental Attitudes 4). No Self Discipline 5) No Vision 6). Use of Race-Sex-and Circumstances as a reason for inactivity 7). No Follow Through. These things are just some of what can hold us back. Let us break the cycle and do better people.......
I am WarD......