My $20 hair Kut!

O.k. this is what happen. I normally just cut my own hair, but on this particular day, I just didn't feel like it. Since I don't have a regular barber to go to other than myself, I knew it would be a hit and miss type of situation. The first place I stopped by had 3 old men sitting there with absolutely zero customers in their chairs. I slowly drove off smiling because I knew I had just averted a guaranteed massacre of a hair cut. I saw one old Barber looking at me like "Please give me one more chance"....Nope- I thought as I pulled off!
Shop number 2 brought me to Corey's where my brother-N-Law goes. Its was cool, but 4 people were in front of me and the other barber was looking a little to zesty for me, so I again left.
Finally I walked into a shop on Mitthoffer that was some what familiar but had a new name. It use to be Razors but he sold the shop to Jeff, oh never mind all that. The point is I saw a dude sitting there with nothing to do, so I asked was he busy and he said no and we walked to the back where his chair was. It was way in the back too, I got tired and had to stop for water twice before we finally made it. I sit down in his chair and I explained what I wanted and he got started. This dude had the world's sharpest clippers. I tried to take it at first, but when I started bleeding around the neck, I had to say something. He was like "My bad dude, they new and I gotta break them in". That is when I explained that I am a licensed Barber too and his clippers are not properly adjusted. He switched clippers and again continued trying to kill me. I looked at the clock and it was 12pm so I knew I could weather this hair cut, but ten minutes later, I looked at the clock and it showed 11:48!! What the......I just told him, it was fine what ever he had attempted up to this point cause I had to go. He said o.k. and put something similar to gasoline on my head because my hair started smoking like Mike Jackson in the Pepsi commerical. I was like could this get any worse. It did! He asked me for $20 for that jacked up fade! I thought he was talking to someone behind me. I gave him $16.50 and said smell ya later Holmes and ran to the drug store to get some vitamin E to put the fire out on my hot head.
Well the lesson I learned on this day......Go to the freaking old men because they too slow to do damage before I can sneak away...
I am jack a fade.....I mean Ward........