Break up to make up.........why U come back 4?

I found myself thinking about how couples who once vowed to love and cherish each other for  life, can suddenly find them selves yelling and screaming at each other (some even throw blows). Could it be that the love just naturally cools off or do couples simply confuse infatuation with love? If couples have to yell to get their point across, then its some problems that require immediate attention. I understand that women are emotional creatures and sometimes raise their voices when they get scared of losing their man. However, I do not think men always see it that way. Men hear a raised voice as a challenge or an invitation to a fight- that is coming from the ((one))) person who is suppose to be his support system. I have heard that a woman can do with her mouth, that the same thing a man can do with his hands. I would think learning the triggers can help resolve these issues.
Lets consider an example of a couple with this very issue. Mary (names have been changed-obviously) who has been married to Louis for well over two decades. She feels that Louis doesn't show her enough affection that she desperately desires, so she tries to tell him that in her own ineffective round about way. Of course he doesn't get it, perhaps because he his comfortable with the status quo. He knows she is always there, he knows she won't cheat and he presumably has another source for his needs ( video games, friends or sports) to be met. Well, Mary soon starts getting close to friends on social media. One guy in particular would reach out to her in her DM's (start of a major problem) and she not only got use to the attention but she also expected his advances. Stevie Wonder could obviously see where this was heading. Mary ended up creeping with Mr. DM and left Louis for him! Was she wrong??? Her husband certainly thinks so. He found out and was totally devastated yet he felt somewhat responsible for his lack of affection. He was hurt and damaged but we all know men can't handle it when our women cheat on us, but expect the forgiveness when/if we cheat (its our major double standard). Louis made the mistake that many men do in his position, he begged her to leave the dude alone and give him 100% again. After several months of begging, she returned but they both realized that it will never be the same again. Its comparable to crumbling up a piece of paper and then expecting it to be smooth again once its unfolded. The damage may last a life time and some outside help is required if the pain is to unbearable.
As I stated earlier, yelling is not a good thing. Louis finds that he is hurt and often dwells on why Mary left him, what did he other guy give her to make her throw away so many years of marriage so easily. He tries to talk to her about his issues, but senses she does not see this issue from his perspective. He is somewhat glad she is back with him, but at the same time hating himself for allowing her back into his life with so many unanswered questions. This situation is sad but pretty common in the world we live in now, but one thing we all have in common is our solution to matters like these.
Respect and Love is always needed in order to reduce the pain of love's sting. I understand that Mary was in need of love and Louis was on automatic pilot and didn't even notice until the damage was done. Louis felt blind sided by the affair and slightly embarrassed knowing that another man knows his wife now. Image how this relationship could have been if they both lived by Bible principles? The couples would have prayed together, communicated regularly and been each others best friend! They can still actually get that type of relationship but they have to learn to be two (((good))) forgivers who want to live up to their dedication vows. Will that happen?? Only time will tell, but social media is a relationship killer in 2017! We don't talk to strangers (unless you are one of Jehovah's Witnesses) so why not be cautions on the internet?
I understand breaking up and getting back together, but why you come back 4 if you are not ready?
I am WarD......