I was watching divorce court today (I love that show for some odd reason) and began to wonder how can a couple who was just mere months ago, be madly in love and then 12 months later be on televison airing out their business in front of millions about why they dont want to be with this obviously horrible person anymore. I came up with few ideals that I think that may summarize the root causes for some.....
1). When we are in the dating stage of any relationship, the phase where we are exploring each other’s personalities, we often put up certain frontz to be more like-able, they can range from being completely harmless like pretending to like a certain color to something more serious like hiding a past relationship. When couples are together for a long time, keeping up with these appearances becomes exhausting and who you really are is revealed. The person who you fell in love with seems like a thing of the past, couples are often found complaining that you have changed. I call this the 6 month front!!! After them months roll by, you start to see who you really with!!!!
2) The notion that there is no true love without jealousy is far from acceptable 4 Wardy, reality alert- jealousy** is suffocating! There are many ways to prove your love for your partner and jealousy is definitely not one of them, instead it’s a good way of pushing your partner away by creating issues which never existed initially, trust and appreciation goes a long way. I simply call this Unnatural- Jealously.
3). The partners started denying each other the simple pleasure of each other’s company, stopped spending time with each other, they stopped freakin talking to each other or introduced yelling into the picture. Communication is extremely important, not only to fall in love but also to stay in love, couples fall out of love when they become strangers to each other. You don’t know what’s going on in your partner’s life, stop paying attention to each other, don’t know what are their needs, wants etc; you start living separate lives. Heck, I know some couples who can lie in the same bed and trip out if their feet touch in the dark of night! Wardy calls this the break-down-in commuication!
4). This is one of the most common reasons why couples lose their connection--- When the relationship becomes long term, couples often stop investing in each other and in the relationship. They tend to forget that love takes WERKKKK, you need to choose your partner every day. Passion and romance need to be kept alive and instead of expecting it to magically always stay there even after the honeymoon phase. If the partners start taking each other for granted , the spark and the desire for each other die, so does the relationship. I call this NO EFFORT-NO RELATIONSHIP SUCKA....
5) Lets say the relationship wasn’t built on solid foundations well suprise...... it has high chances of falling apart in the long run. For e.g. lust was mistaken for love, or it started off as cheating or an affair. This wasn’t love in its purest form in the first place and the truth had to hit sooner or later. Relationships which start wrong can never withstand the challenges of life and are destined to end. I call this Fools Gold!!
6). Couples who fail to develop healthy habits of conflict resolution develop resentment and negativity towards each other. If one or both the partners are bad at handling disagreements, choose to give the silent treatment, let issues build up, fight dirty rather than fair (Cheat to Win type of people), hold grudges and become vengeful, then the love they had for each other will become history, replaced by feelings of anger and frustration. I call this one Unresolved Problems.
7). Lying, cheating and dishonesty. These are the biggest unforgivable of a relationship, especially if they keep repeating. The partner who is being lied to will eventually get tired of it and the love will keep diminishing. It is a sure way of making the other person turn against you, a recipe for disaster and a leading cause of break ups. It doesn't help when the dishonest person (liar) adds insults to injury by saying, I was just playing or I don't remember saying that. Its just the hand writing on the wall. Don't hide behind the skinny tree. We can see you and your actions as well as you can. Relationships require much work and determination. It can be done, but two have to be willing out love each other with unconditional love of repeat the above until you are solo suckers.....
Without application of Jah's rules, its no hope. Ya feelz me?
I am Ward......
