Riding 4 da hommies (or how Wardy thinks it must be like)

Every real g knows not to stop at a light.
It’s the burn’em spot for cowards too scared to fight.
Riding heavy ain’t easy,
But it’s the life I chose.
I’m no Shakespeare
To sob over a gangsta’s woes.
I am what I am
No regrets,
No excuses.
Sometimes we have long time winners.....
but lately, all we got is losers to this game of death.
I want to get out, but where I'm gone go,
Momz 15 years older than me and she don't even no.
Just another black male caught up n da mixx
trying to make a dollar out 15 cents....
I guess at the end of the day, its has to be this way,
I ain't no LoveR or fighter.....
I beeeeee just a simple thug/survivor,  Riding 4 da hommies
ww4lyfe

I am Ward....

Appreciation.....a never ending story of perfect misunderstandings

This is what she said and it got me thinking....

I hate getting into a confrontation with my significant other; it makes me feel hurt, alienated, confused, and downright disappointed.  I aim to please my significant other, it makes him feel good, but it makes me feel better!!!  Women by nature are very loving, we have BIG hearts, and we love to feel needed. A majority of women only lash out, because we feel that our significant others are not listening to how we feel.  Yes, I said it, "how we feel".  Pay attention because we do!  Stop calling us nostalgic because it’s insulting.

One of my favorite examples of a perfect night gone wrong:  Me wanting to make sure I take care of the little things he likes, I make sure he has everything at his fingertips.  But instead of seeing the little things I have done, he concentrates on the most minute imperfections, which leaves me confused and feeling unappreciated…..and here comes the arguments :(

  My response is going to be deadly in my head, but before lashing out with this tongue, I think what would defuse this situation???  But before I can complete my TP, he hits me with some more foolishness.  Home is the one place I want to feel safe and protected, not shamed for being a woman to my man. 

We battle with the feeling of inadequacy and the feelings of being insignificant in life already, so we can do without an argument from the one we love.  We already live life hidden in our tears and harbored  by our fears of disappointment: so an argument is not what I’m going to start, but that's just me. 

What I thought about her words but didn't verbalize it back to her.... 

Confrontations often times lead to disappointments and even pain, especially when couples attack each other rather than the problem. Women by nature are natural born nurturers, that in itself is ironic to men, because women find satisfaction and joy from "giving" their positive energy to a man who often times does not even deserve it! I have learned that the more you give a man, the more they/we will tend to expect..... and the less they/we will do in the relationship. Real talk, not saying this is right or wrong,  rather it is a reality.

Men are most comfortable with a woman who is assertive but not aggressive when it comes to his assistance. We want a soldier on our team to help and support us, but at the same time.....we want help with what we want help with. We appreciate that you got our slippers and drink with the perfect amount of ice cubes in the glass because you imagine that is what we want! But what if you simply sat next to me and stated that you wish to please me today. "what is it that can me happy"???? I can almost promise you that your results will fare much better-lol!!! Men are simple when you get down to the nuts and bolts of it and that's why we love sports. It has rules and consequences along the road to reaching the trophy and ring. We know if we step out of bounds, we incur a penalty and we can't participate for a while. Even though this punishment is painful for a moment, we somehow endure and come back stronger and more determined to prove our-selves.

Let me address the men folk right quick. Brothers, good communication requires participation on both sides. A man needs to work at remembering that complaining about problems does not meant blaming and that when his female complains she is generally just letting go of her frustrations by talking about them.. A female can work at letting him know that though she is complaining, she also appreciates him. I say this because men women don't think of giving appreciation because they assume a man knows how much she appreiares being heard. Wrong suckers: MEN DON'T KNOW!!!! When females are talking about problems, we need to be reassured that yall still love and appreciate us too! C'mon son!!! See the thing about men is we feel frustrated byproblems unless we are doing something to solve them. By being appreciated, the female can help dudes/us to realize that just by listening, we are actually helping the mood. That is what Wardy considers part of good communication, ya dig? All the female has to learn to do, is pause every now and then and say "I really appreciate you listening to me and if I am making it sound like I am saying its all your fault, that now what I mean. Its not your fault, it something I want us to solve together". (This doesn't work with every couple cuz some of yall are crazy-No REFUND).

Bonus:
Q:Sometimes women feel, "Why should i appreciate what he does when yall know dog gone good and well that yall do more?
A: Men give less when we don't feel appreciated. If you want us to give more, then give more appreciation. Men ar motivated by appreciation. If you are giving more it may  be hard to appreiate us. Gracefully gegin to give less so that you can appreciate us more!!! By making this change, not only are you supporting us in feeling loved, but you will also ge the support you need and deserve!

I am ward.......

50 ways to ummmm lose your lover

Isn't love wonderful? Seeing couples walking hand in hand, laughing and talking about nothing. Heck on a good day "said couple" just might even wear matching fits and saying things like "I love you so much that I think ofyou in colors that don't exist"- lol!
The thing about all these loving couples, is that they all have one very common factor---Entropy! For some of my readers, this word may be challenging, so let me break the meaning down (lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder).
See, I started wondering how couples can be so happy one day and then seemingly from out of nowhere the couples are mortal enemies. Humm, I thought to myself, BUT WHY. This is what I came up with: Very slowly, entropy sneaks into a relationship in the form of ignored phone calls, lack of quality conversations, no longer listening to each/ not communicating in love (yes and no) with reduced affection and thoughts of enjoying time alone. That is a far cry from the long late night phone conversations about nothingness and the longing to see your beloved one after the long separation of a few hours. 
Who knows, maybe after working 40+ hours a week, dealing with traffic, home work, house work and life in general has a way of wearing people down. I don't consider any of these distractions good reasons for loosing your relationship. I just think couples don't realize what they have or had until the end is upon them. My dude from around the way has a loving girl at home that he spends very little time with now. He says that she tries to micro manage his life by checking his phone, constantly accusing him of cheating with any girl that is over 17 years old. Dude said his formerly loving relationship has turned into a hostage situation with no chance of being released. I also know Karen (cousin) who is with a man who let him self go physically. Dude is so out of shape that sweats while he is in the shower. Karen said he is such a turn off in this condition. She said she doesn't cheat on him but she is unsure what she will do if someone half way close to what she likes tempts her.....well lets just say I pray for her. 
The story of couples falling in and out of love is all too common today. Makes you wonder why people are just not made with a fail safe mechanism that automatically links us to one mate. A mate that U wake up to each day and fall in love, all over again! But naahh, that ain't cool and won't happen because we gotta have Circle fights (fights that keep occurring over the same thing with the same results) on the regular.
O.k., here is the point. marriage and relationships are hard work, and like anything else it requires maintenance. Think about it, if a man really wants to keep his woman happy it would behoove him to first learn to please God 1st! Next he would learn to love his mate as himself. He would spend time with her and make her his number activity. And to the woman, stop trying to be a man and learn to respect your man. Find out what he wants to do and support him in those efforts. Give him options and choices that benefit the family. Allow him some alone time to at least freaking miss you. Don't compete with your dude, try eating with your dude. Sure we get tired sometimes and want to be catered to, but somebody gotta be the bigger person. 
To my dude with the psycho chick: Man up and tell your woman that she is the only one for you and try over looking her issues for a while and love her to pieces. If she don't act right then, you can do what you gotta do with no regrets. Cousin Karen, join the gym with your man and start cooking healthy. Save his life and your relationship (besides you ain't gonna leave him anyway-lol!
I am Ward.......