How to know if you kids are bad/monsters!!!

1. If your kid is suspended from school more dayz than you have vacation time?
2. If your kid is chased home from school daily?
3. Your kids teacher accidentally writes I hate this kid on his test!
4. Your kids drives your car to school, but doesn't have a drivers license and didn't get your permission to take the freaking car?
5. The school bus driver claims he can't remember how to get to your house.
6. The school principal has your home and cell phone number on speed dial.
7. Police know your child on a first name basis.
8. Your 9 year old kid has the nick name of "Chicago".
9. When you see your kids ordering gun magazines.
10.When you kid says, they don't need school cuz they going "Pro"

I am Ward......

The game of Lying between Dudes and Chicks.....But who does it better?

Men lie (at least some of us anyway) and that's the fact JACK (Stripes) But women are liars at some point as well, but are they better at lying than men? This is an interesting question and depending on who you ask, the answer will certainly vary.
This is what Wardy has figured out: The lies that the sexes tell are 4 very different reasons. For men folk the lie tends to be a quick fix and for women, its a way of life. Women lie to create opportunities, keep friendships and maintain family harmony. For the majority of women, the hard work of the lie is the payoff — as long as they pretend to be good girls, cleverly covering their tracks. It seems that the female keeps the arsenal ready because of personal retribution and satisfaction.
I must admit that many times men are the cause of the reason for the lie by our actions, but the final decision is the responsibility of the liar. The male tends to choose a mate based off of looks (yeah we are visual creature-deal with it)and when reality sets in we realize that we need a woman that can fulfill our every need verses a single need! Thus the woman who has given her all to the man gets upset when she finds out the male is or has cheated with the more qualified sister! Doesn't make it right, but it is a reason isn't?
The men that I know that lie do it because they want to avoid an argument. We know once we speak the truth the woman will blow up run her mouth for eva-lol!
Really, lying is wrong on all levels and our grand instructor even hates it. My question is why do we have to lie from jump street? I read book on how to tell when someone is lying and found that many people lie daily.
Final thought: Keep in mind who told the first lie ever and remember that the greatest form of respect is imitation.......
I am Ward....

He coming back yalllllll......................

Change changes chains of the changed!!!!

Sometimes when I am riding into work I find that I get tired of the same old thang on the radio and purposely search out talk radio. Well on this particular station I heard a caller complaining that her husband wanted kids and got cold feet when it was time to become a father. Let me explain further because I'm so amazed that talk radio and Jerry Springer can get folk to forget others can hear or see them-lol!
This couple agreed that if the man got a motorcycle and to go to Vegas with the boys the wifey gets to have kids in two years. Well, the wife waited patiently (supposedly)and then stopped taking her baby stoppers and the husband freaked. The ironic part is that this scenario occurred 5 years ago. The couple now has 2 kids and the Dad is wonderful and loves his kids very much! The Mom is mad because when she said she was ready 4 him to fulfill is end of the bargain, he got nervous and was skerrd!
The thing about it is this, the man needed to mature basically. He knew he wanted kids but reality is a funny thing when its starring you in the face. Imagine what its like when you are on that roller coaster as it slowly creeks up that imposing hill. You may start to second guess your decision to ride it, but its too late now. See the man was scared of the unknown, not necessarily a bad thing, but requires a mature spirit. The wife is overlooking the fact that despite the man's misgivings he is now a great father!
So if people are only gonna focus on our past way of thinking and acting regardless of who we are and what we are doing: Then why should we have bothered to change in the first place. Even in the Bible the Apostle Paul use to persecute Christians, but had a change of heart (and name) and changed his ways. He is now remembered for the good that he did rather than the bad he previously performed.
I can emphasize with that because I was recently accused of something that I have been guilty of in the past. It really hurt my feelings to be looked at the way when I did something in ignorance to the person I am now. I guess either we don't know people or perhaps the other party needs to take the other foot from the past and use both feet to walk in the present to have a better future.
I am WaRd.......

My $20 hair Kut!

O.k. this is what happen. I normally just cut my own hair, but on this particular day, I just didn't feel like it. Since I don't have a regular barber to go to other than myself, I knew it would be a hit and miss type of situation. The first place I stopped by had 3 old men sitting there with absolutely zero customers in their chairs. I slowly drove off smiling because I knew I had just averted a guaranteed massacre of a hair cut. I saw one old Barber looking at me like "Please give me one more chance"....Nope- I thought as I pulled off!
Shop number 2 brought me to Corey's where my brother-N-Law goes. Its was cool, but 4 people were in front of me and the other barber was looking a little to zesty for me, so I again left.
Finally I walked into a shop on Mitthoffer that was some what familiar but had a new name. It use to be Razors but he sold the shop to Jeff, oh never mind all that. The point is I saw a dude sitting there with nothing to do, so I asked was he busy and he said no and we walked to the back where his chair was. It was way in the back too, I got tired and had to stop for water twice before we finally made it. I sit down in his chair and I explained what I wanted and he got started. This dude had the world's sharpest clippers. I tried to take it at first, but when I started bleeding around the neck, I had to say something. He was like "My bad dude, they new and I gotta break them in". That is when I explained that I am a licensed Barber too and his clippers are not properly adjusted. He switched clippers and again continued trying to kill me. I looked at the clock and it was 12pm so I knew I could weather this hair cut, but ten minutes later, I looked at the clock and it showed 11:48!! What the......I just told him, it was fine what ever he had attempted up to this point cause I had to go. He said o.k. and put something similar to gasoline on my head because my hair started smoking like Mike Jackson in the Pepsi commerical. I was like could this get any worse. It did! He asked me for $20 for that jacked up fade! I thought he was talking to someone behind me. I gave him $16.50 and said smell ya later Holmes and ran to the drug store to get some vitamin E to put the fire out on my hot head.
Well the lesson I learned on this day......Go to the freaking old men because they too slow to do damage before I can sneak away...
I am jack a fade.....I mean Ward........

My $20 hair Kut!

10 Wayz to create mo' time 4 yo self suckers.....

If you are like me, then you need more time in the course of a 24 hour day. I mean where does the time go? Is someone stealing it or am I just waisting it? I know I am dang near perfect-lol, so someone has got to be taking mine, nonetheless, here are some hot tips to help all of us get back on time and off the CP time that yall are oh so good at.......
1. Keep a daily to do list. Check of the items as they are completed. Carry the left over or incomplete items to 2morrows list.
2.Schedule the most important task first. It will be easier to find time for the less important ones.
3.Set goals that you have a large degree of control. You might want to focus on a manager position at your job rather than CEO in 6 months, but hey you gotta do you-right?
4.Be Real with yo self. You won't be able to do everything you want in a day. So if you can delegate them or eliminate them, try spending less time on them.... like watching lifetime-ESPN-or Jerry Springer........
5.Schedule less. If you try to get the car fixed, shop for food and entertain friends you might get overwhelmed. Do some here & the rest there...Geeeshhh mannnn..
6.Minimize interruptions. Block off time when you can't be disturbed, only with an emergency. (Sponge Bob not being on at the correct time is not life threatening, but it could be if you feel me). Turn of the blackberry and unplug the phone and put in work....
7.Allow time for the unexpected. I am sure number 6 will come back and bite you in the Asteroid......
8.Use transitional time well. When driving to work-listen to the news then or Bible recording. When you are waiting the license branch or for a train, do the same. This is will prevent you from complaining how you wasted time earlier....
9.Don't be a perfectionist sucka, know when its time to move on to the next important activity. I once got a hair cut for 48 hours......."Oye Veyyyyy"
10.Be flexible, these are not hard and fast rules, try some out and find what works for you. Shoot none of them may work for you, but then again, you got the problem cuz I am perfect-remember?
I aM WaRd......

InsPRAYration

"No bird soars too high,
If he soars with his own wings." .............Mr. William Blake

I am Ward....